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The 14 year old girl in me is showing.
#1
This is going to be one of those really juvenile "OMG he's so cute. What do I do?!?!?" kind of things that you've probably read a hundred times before. For that I apologize in advance... so thanks for reading anyway.

I should preface this also with: I am 24 and have no romantic experience whatsoever, with anyone. I think the last time I held someone's hand was my mothers as I was crossing the street when I was four. I have some fairly severe social anxiety and body issues (but who doesn't. Can I get an amen!) and have allowed this to affect my life quite negatively.

I'm in this college class and there's boy (tee hee) and we're always doing group work together with three others. We're quite friendly with each other and he's laughs at a lot of my stupid jokes. We've never talked outside of class or anything. I always suspected he was gay but had no evidence. We were discussing the concept of multiculturalism and such and I asked the group if any of them had benefitted from any multiculturalism policies either as part of the either the majority or minority cultures. There was a brief pause and then he looked and me, smiled and said "does being gay count?" Flustered, I responded with a brief "a hum a na hum a na *cough* I would ask the same question but I think the ... um... the article is really about immigrant multiculturalism policies and uh.... yeah." I don't know if he's interested in me or not, but I've been trying to determine if his comment was his way of letting me specifically know, or if (much more likely) I am looking too hard at it.

This made me very happy because I have a bad habit of only developing crushes on straight guys. I guess my question is what do you think I should do now? I was thinking about asking him if he'd like to get a cup of coffee after class, but I thought that might be too forward or presumptuous. Would it be better to just try to start more casual bullshitty kind of conversation after class and feel things out? The semester's going to over in a couple weeks and I don't want to regret not saying anything.

Thanks for reading.
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#2
My advice is act sooner rather than later. You could spend weeks trying to work out if he likes you and still be unsure or come to the wrong conclusion.

You get on well with him it seems so yes suggest you go for coffee and take it from there.

J
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#3
Coffee is never to presumptuous , it's the perfect place to talk.

Go for it .
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#4
I'm with Mum and jjjjj (I hope that was the right amount of j's) on this. He sounds sweet and coffee sounds like a casual, neautral start =)

Have fun Tongue
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#5
Coffee for sure. At least you have something in common to talk about (the classes) Smile

Find out a little more about him, invite him to go see a movie if he's single, and just generally see how things go Smile

ObW
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#6
Please please please ask him out for a coffee, I had classes with a guy once and he was sending me all kinds of messages that he wanted to stay in touch after our classes were over but my dumb ass didn't realise it untill it was to late.
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#7
First of all you need to sit down with a blank sheet of paper and make a list of all the worst things that could happen. NO, NO! Don't do that, I was only joking.

Even in this enlightened day and age people don't say lightly the sort of thing he did. You must hunt him down remorselessly and force your will upon him, or perhaps the coffee thing might give a better impression. Yes, perhaps what everyone else said; there's a reason why I'm single (well, lots actually).

And while I realise it's probably no part of your real life, that pipe, it needs to go back to 1940 where it belongs.

Best of luck, nothing ventured...
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#8
Ask him out for a coffee and get to know him better. Smile
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#9
I had a friend for the two years. He liked the things that i like and he was being really friendly. I loved him. I blushed when he touched me. I laughed at his silly jokes but when he said something about.. us, i just ignored it or refused it because i still believed that i might have a chance by being straight and i really scared that people might found out my secret. I don't know if he was gay or not, but whenever i remember him i say ''i wish.. i wish i told him. maybe i would have a chance''.
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#10
Thank you all for your wonderful advice. I resonate especially with those of you who mentioned some regret for not seizing the day in the past. Unfortunately, class was cancelled today, so I'll have to wait 'til Monday to say anything. I will definitely aske him to a cup of coffee. Thanks.


cardiganwearer Wrote:Even in this enlightened day and age people don't say lightly the sort of thing he did.

I thought the same thing, but I wasn't sure if I was being too hopeful or naive. I'm the worst sign reader in the history of signs.

cardiganwearer Wrote:You must hunt him down remorselessly and force your will upon him

Yelclap I like that approach, but I was actually considering just Facebook stalking him and forming an imaginary alternate reality in which he and I are madly in love and throw fantastic dinner parties and are sit on the love-seat and discuss which color for the accent wall best complements the new furniture set....

cardiganwearer Wrote:And while I realise it's probably no part of your real life, that pipe, it needs to go back to 1940 where it belongs.

Best of luck, nothing ventured...

This coming from someone who calls themself CardiganWearer? Wow
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