When I'm wrong, I'm very wrong.

[AquarianDragon]

Very sorry to hear this Bowyn. You must be in a crazy emotional, confused state right now!

Blue seems to have gone off the rails and is probably in a really bad space and needs help.
Take a little time, as while I don't doubt the impact it must be having on you, this may only need an explanation, and some understanding and forgiveness.

I'm hoping it can still work out for you both. Best wishes.

[Rawr]

Sorry to hear this, hope you're doing alright Bowyn

[zeon]

As bud wiser says good things come to those who wait..... How long you wait is upto you but if he dont turn up after your expired time dont get dis heartened blue will come back maybe his just gone a wrong turning and he dont need to be using speed to drive as if he kills someone could that be on his mind knowing someone is missing a family member?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Okay, now that the shock is settled, it sounds like Blue is ashamed. There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for his actions, as dramatic the effect they have had, and I hope he reaches out to someone for understanding, and explains himself. He is free to do that with you, right, Bowyn?

Yeah well I do make some room for 'addiction' However two years into my last relationship I made a lot of allowances and that didn't turn out well. So I have a more reasonable limit on my 'allowing' and 'understanding' in such manners.

As for Blue, supposedly he is now in Portland Oregon.

No emails from him or phone calls to me, this is through his gal-pal. I call his phone and he doesn't answer. I send texts, no answer.

The Gal-Pal tells me that when he gets 'this way' these jaunts last for a week. He drives in his truck and keeps driving, and when not driving he is 'fixing' things that don't need fixing.

His last emails to me admit he was on 'pink' but there is more to this story which isn't adding up too well. Those emails have been terrifying the things he said (no details will be posted here).

His gal pal checked the other sites he regularly visits and it appears he has deleted his accounts there. No idea what that means.

[Counselor]

Severe episode of delusional paranoia = Bad Trip

[Genersis]

Ugh...:frown:
Why is nothing simple...

Don't beat yourself up over it Bowyn.

Blue seems to handle stress by running away from/avoiding stress, judging by what has been said so far.
He's probably(hopefully?) feeling guilty about it...but I wouldn't expect things to resolve quickly, as he has to bring himself to stop running first.

[zeon]

the best way to see it is all the time u see a update from his friend u know his still going ok... is it normal for him to go like this then i take it?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

the best way to see it is all the time u see a update from his friend u know his still going ok... is it normal for him to go like this then i take it?

So it would appear...

He did it for years as a truck driver. Doing long hauls... Back on the road again most likely triggered him.

I think he gets paranoid... thus the running he is doing....

I'll wait it out and see how it plays.

[ManicReptile21]

Paranoid? What the heck is he paranoid about???

[AdrianMarcus]

Bowyn Aerrow,

I don't know you or Blue, so this isn't really any of my business, but something about reading this thread and what happened to you is just really bothering me. I am so sorry that this happened to you.

Blue sounds passive aggressive, which is a form of abuse, and no matter what happened between you guys (from big things to really small things) nothing could justify what has happened to you. This kind of running off and disappearing is not just a sign of emotional immaturity, but is also a sign of serious malice.

I have no respect for someone who cannot at least come out and say to a person - for whatever reason (x,y,z,) I'm not interested in you anymore. I have a friend, who I recently met, that is an MD/PhD in psychology, and I discussed your situation with him, to see if he could offer me any advice that I might be able to relay to you, and he basically said that even if you aren't thinking of these things right now, this all might have a huge impact on your ability to trust people, and how you might behave in future relationships too.

I don't know you so - please don't think I'm saying anything from a position of authority, but I think you should read up on things like:

- the passive aggressive male
- narcissistic personality disorder
- histrionic disorder (which often has aspects of narcissism and passive aggressive personality issues mixed in there).

This might help you understand what happened (only you can say if anything you read pertains to Blue as you knew him).

If you can, focus on yourself, and get the answers from other sources that you can't seem to get from Blue, because trauma like this, since it is emotional in nature, might come back to haunt you later if you aren't able to spend some time processing it, and not getting answers from Blue about why he did this is just so cruel that I don't know what to even say.

Best of luck, and I hope things improve for you. I really do. Hang in there and spend time worrying about YOU, it sounds like Blue is worried only about him, and if he has a problem - well - at this rate he needs professional help because returning an email, a text, or a phone call is not that difficult.

It's malicious what he is doing.
That's my opinion, and I'm sorry for you.