When I'm wrong, I'm very wrong.

[Counselor]

Paranoid? What the heck is he paranoid about???

If the speed is what caused him to miss his left turn at Albuquerque, it's probable he's suffering delusions. He's cut off contact and closed social site accounts, which indicate he is afraid of something, being found, betrayed, scolded, whatever...

The truth is, he probably doesn't have anything to be paranoid about.

[zeon]

When you hear from blue im not going to say if im going to say when to create a cycle of faith and enough faith in my eyes will surpress courage to him to contact and when he does tell him to come back to gayspeak and the people here by this thread show we care about him... We may not have ever met but as ive said before the best person to talk to is a total stranger and this site has dedicated people like myself and rainbowmum who are here to support others when needed...

Kindest regards

Aunty Zeon
Gayspeak agony aunt

[Geminize]

It's easy to judge Blue here, but I don't think that will help him out. I'm guessing he has some intimacy and insecurity issues, but what do I know? Sounds to me as if he is crying out for help, testing Bowyn with his behavior. Whatever he's doing, it will probably take a great deal of compassion on his own part and that of those around him for him to climb out of the hole he has dug.

I encourage you, Bowyn, to do what you need to take care of yourself in this situation. It sucks, caring about someone who's on a self-destructive path, but don't go down with him. It sounds like you know that. Hang in there.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I actually have no idea what the real story is, but I assure a lot of trust has been broken over the past few days.

There is a bit of possible paranoia going on, there is a lot of potential old business rising to the surface. He isn't talking anymore to anyone... Who knows?

I will assume that eventually he will crash, sleep for a week then realize his minor mistake. Or he will just do another hit of speed and go for another week.

Unknown at this time.

AdrianMarcus - Malicious, yes it is. Hurtful, and it broke trust.

I'm not going to worry about future relationships. I already decided that this one is it. No more of that stuff. Its cats and old lady-hood from here on out.

[Miles]

Please take care of yourself Bowyn.

[AdrianMarcus]

AdrianMarcus - Malicious, yes it is. Hurtful, and it broke trust.

I'm not going to worry about future relationships. I already decided that this one is it. No more of that stuff. Its cats and old lady-hood from here on out.

I really hope that you change your mind about that last part. There are some really bad people in the world. Some are bad just because, and others are damaged and cannot help it. I can't even imagine how hurt you must be right now, but my best friend probably can. She was married to a special kind of guy (and special in a bad way), and she thought that she was never going to date again or trust again, but she met somebody that was much better. I really hope you don't close yourself off. You shouldn't let him take that part of yourself away from you.

After I came out, I thought I had no one, just my best friend, and sadly my book club, and that was it. I felt pretty pathetic and stupid for trusting those people, and then something really strange happened. I met the best group of people I've ever known in my life, and I was so cynical and bitter in the beginning that I almost messed it up. Not saying you would do that, but just saying that I hope you don't close yourself off because of what this guy did.

Drugs or no drugs, his actions are despicable, and I hope he's okay, but more importantly, I hope he didn't screw up another nice person.

[ChadCoxRox]

Hi all, I've been taking a break from posting recently but lurking occasionally to stay "caught up" enough for returning to active postings. This thread is definitely worthy of a post since Blue is the one person most responsible for my developing a presence here in the first place. I do not know a great deal of the situation with you Bow and I've not talked to Blue in a while either because of another issue a few months ago, but I do feel compelled to remind everyone how Blue has been fairly open about his past and his recovery status. Not the least issue in the diabetes. I'm not trying to explain anything or make any excuse for what sounds like inexcusable behavior, but having diabetes myself and being a professional behavioral health specialist I'd easily believe his diabetes is playing a role in the concern at hand. I wish him best wishes and pray for his safety and I sincerely want to extend my well wishes and love for you Bow. I'm sorry you have experience dealing with seeming bullshit and I'm even more sorry it now has anything to do with the very interesting Blue. :im-very-sorry-smile

[jimbopdxus]

Bowyn! I am SO SORRY to see that happen. But I am a optomist! 1) He could have gotten cold feet and scared, 2) Maybe the drug source was mistaken, 3) Maybe you are better off if he does not show up and 4) If he does finally make it you can talk it out and get it taken care of! May God be with you!!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I really hope that you change your mind about that last part. There are some really bad people in the world. Some are bad just because, and others are damaged and cannot help it. I can't even imagine how hurt you must be right now, but my best friend probably can. She was married to a special kind of guy (and special in a bad way), and she thought that she was never going to date again or trust again, but she met somebody that was much better. I really hope you don't close yourself off. You shouldn't let him take that part of yourself away from you.

After I came out, I thought I had no one, just my best friend, and sadly my book club, and that was it. I felt pretty pathetic and stupid for trusting those people, and then something really strange happened. I met the best group of people I've ever known in my life, and I was so cynical and bitter in the beginning that I almost messed it up. Not saying you would do that, but just saying that I hope you don't close yourself off because of what this guy did.

Drugs or no drugs, his actions are despicable, and I hope he's okay, but more importantly, I hope he didn't screw up another nice person.

Number 2 and Number 3 were 'special men' they broke my heart, and a few ribs, an arm and I got sutures and a minor hospital stay.

Number 4 wasn't that bad, he turned me on to IV using meth and a few other not as abusive things....

So this isn't the first time my heart has been, um what is the word.... shattered?

I am hoping that this will sort itself out. But my gut keeps on telling me this is a tip of a giant iceberg of things I didn't know.....

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Hi all, I've been taking a break from posting recently but lurking occasionally to stay "caught up" enough for returning to active postings. This thread is definitely worthy of a post since Blue is the one person most responsible for my developing a presence here in the first place. I do not know a great deal of the situation with you Bow and I've not talked to Blue in a while either because of another issue a few months ago, but I do feel compelled to remind everyone how Blue has been fairly open about his past and his recovery status. Not the least issue in the diabetes. I'm not trying to explain anything or make any excuse for what sounds like inexcusable behavior, but having diabetes myself and being a professional behavioral health specialist I'd easily believe his diabetes is playing a role in the concern at hand. I wish him best wishes and pray for his safety and I sincerely want to extend my well wishes and love for you Bow. I'm sorry you have experience dealing with seeming bullshit and I'm even more sorry it now has anything to do with the very interesting Blue. :im-very-sorry-smile

Yeah the diabetes thing. I know his pump lasts 72 hours. He claimed he lost his insulin after the car 'broke down' but told me he would get a refill at walmart.

It's been a thing nagging at the back of my mind... Too many potential issues there.

Yes he was open about being a recovering addict, but his friend is telling me a different tale here. He said 5 years clean, she said not really clean at all...

Still don't know what is really going on.... Silence hurts a lot more than anything else, the not knowing is bad....