Depression sucks big hairy balls

[Undreamt]

And I've had "episodes" of weirdness... At any time I can feel as if my head is empty of everything except cotton wool, unable to think, or else I'll be thinking in too much depth... I'll have random occasions where I will feel irrationally ecstatic. As if I could do anything.

I just wanted to enphasise what you said here. Mention it to your doctor.

Maybe you meant it as a throw away statement but it could be an indicator of bi-polar and depression and bi-polar medications can be slightly different so its certainly worth investigating further.

[Undreamt]

Citalopram is NOT something you can just decide to stop. If you want to try getting off, you must discuss that course of action with your physician, the crash is very severe and your physician can suggest a way to lessen the impact.

oh and yes Counselor is right, stopping medications suddenly (especially anti-depressants) can be dangerous. A friends brother suffered a heart attack because he stopped taking anti-depressants too quickly (he was only 23)

[zeon]

Hello,
I am firstly sorry to hear about your depression and how it is affecting you.. Depression is a part of life that once your in it is very hard to get out of.. Most people at some point experience depression and the levels of it vary. With me I will admit I have experienced depression and have been drifting in and out of it ever since. One thing i havent done which some may say is worse than stopping to take meds is not actually taking them because i suffer with ADHD i often found myself reaching for a 35p euro shopper energy drink and letting that take control of me and sending me to planet janet..
Method I often do is get a big sheet of paper and put the word ME in the middle and circle it.. Now to identify what things are getting me into this state and the first time was my break up of my relationship in scotland.. Being unable to accept at 18 i had lost my love to another guy a younger guy one i couldnt accept nor compete.. I would recommend with you why not jot down on paper about your feelings circling ME in the middle and identify every aspect.. Depression is caused by our enviroment we are living in and its something i like to regard as dreaming whilst awake because dreams tell us of our lives not being complete and depression does the same thing. I have a thread somewhere on the boards about depression and being time to talk.. I will admit i have highs and lows with my situation so i do understand how depression affects... Have you thought maybe writing a letter to yourself as this can draw the pain your feeling inside out and if u gotta have a cry then let it out mista... Get everything on paper and once its done either throw it away or set fire to it or do whatever with it just dont keep it because what your doing is throwing away some of the things that are hurting you at this time.. I would recommend maybe with regards to your medication just taking it easy to wean yourself off dont rush and over time if u wanna fight it alone then feel free to if u dont set yourself a goal to try to come off them as i know people who feel they cannot lifve without being onj them...
You are not alone on this mista and if you ever wanna chat on a 1 2 1 basis in confidence dont feel worried about emailing or messaging me here. My support address is listed in my signature..

Big hugz and kindest regards

Aunty Zeon
Gayspeak agony aunt x

[Rainbowmum]

I also have to agree with Bowyn.

Do not trivialize what is going on , you need some professional help so you can have the tools you need to cope and overcome .

[Danno90]

Well it's now less than 9 hours until my doctor's appointment and (hopefully) things will be getting sorted. If I could just get to sleep, then that will come quicker.

I hate referring to Harry Potter as all the films and the later books were more overrated hype than the first books... But it's like recurring dementor attacks. No wonder I get through so much chocolate.

I've decided against taking time off work for it. I need to give myself some form of normality, and refuse to be dragged down to the state that some people I know happen to be in, being long-term incapacitated by mental illness. It's just a shame that sort of resolve doesn't work when trying to give this whole thing a kick out the window.

[Eko]

sorry to hear your feeling bad,
i'd definately see a docter, I went to one recently and it's been helping.

[Danno90]

Just got back from the doctor, she's put me back on the Citalopram after identifying that my depression comes in cycles, in the hope that being on it for 12 months or so *should* break the cycle. I'm also on Zopiclone to help me sleep.

I forgot to ask about counseling but after some Googling I've found it's provided free on the NHS in my area (gotta love the UK health system ) but I will need my NHS number... Which I can only get in person from the doctor's surgery as I have no paperwork at home with it on. Not going back there now as I'll have to get ready for work soon, so that will be another job for another day. But even though I feel slightly low at the moment, it feels good to know I'm finally doing something about it.

Thanks once again everyone for your support

[Bowyn Aerrow]

According to my clock you have plenty of time to trot your (un)happy ass back down to doctor and get what you need to get your (un)happy ass into therapy now.

I know people in England sonny boy, and they will be all to happy to hunt you down and drag you to a therapist.

Seriously, with the things you have mentioned you need a therapist to go along with those meds - and I suspect that therapy will be far more therapeutic for you than drugs.

March young man!

[Danno90]

I saved my little legs and phoned them instead. They didn't even need to ask any security questions. Maybe it's just meant to be?

Besides, the last thing I need is a group of burly rugby-player types trying to take me places... XD

I now have the number, have printed off a self referral form... AND have enough time to fill it out before work.

EDIT: Also just got off the phone from the counseling service who are going to phone me back on Monday to talk things through. Thought while the iron's hot and I'm on a temporary up-swing I might as well do something about it.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Ah very good. I would hate to think what Zeon, Monk and several others would have to do.

No its good. Just don't be disappointed if the first therapist doesn't work out. Its like a relationship, you two need to be able to get along for therapy to work.