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SavedGay Wrote:If you're in college now join some college groups like a gay club, or photo club or anything where you can do something you might like and meet new people.
I just graduated this summer... My biggest regret with it is that I never actually focused to learn to play an instrument (Cause its hard by your own) and join a band.
I love religion but i am not religious my self, but if i was i think i would had converted into Buddhism. I find the question with god just mixed. I get that god would have his world on his shoulders but if he is the creator and preserver of life, why did he, cause they're would be no other that could create Evil? Why would he let us war against each other instead of just creating the perfect Utopian. I believe more in Mother earth, doing good deeds and the circle of life.
Aye i could still listen to the oldies but i will never experience them live, at least most. There is just to much emotions swirling around my head confusing me, just making my self down. The future, work, education, family, morals and ethics, worries, etc the list goes on...I know weed isn't the solution, I know it's bad for me, but when you feel to cut your throat it can be quite relieving.
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OK Saved Gay.... I'm getting the impression you are having a time of atonement with us. A time to expiate some of the things that you regret doing. Yours was a full life, it seems and you've experienced some of the finer things, but also some of the darker ones.... Were you ever depressed along that road? I'd just like to tell you that it's alright to be gay. I would also love for the God you believe in to find it his His heart to tell you that He loved you and made you gay because He loves diversity.... and saw that it was all good.
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I don't think you even made yourself gay, you were born that way, probably... and didn't find the right kind of soil to thrive in as a gay man. May you be happy now that you have found some kind of peace...
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It's funny that you don't question the fact that other little boys have not been tempted to do what you did at the early age of four... most children are curious of sexuality, and don't necessarily judge it to be wrong or otherwise until told by adults or older kids that it is wrong... Again, that is culturally conveyed... not innate. However, I don't think most little boys will want to suck cock later in life, so why did it happen to you? What guided you to do it in the first place? Was it a practice that you were actually imitating from someone older? Or was it a natural things for you to do?
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Yes I knew about child molesters often having been molested, again, it's not innate to molest children then, just a learned pattern from what you've been subjected to as a child, and grow up to believe is normal and acceptable behaviour, I get that. Not sure I can believe in this assertion however:
"I've also met many bisexual men that never had a gay experience in their lives become bisexual after they tried male sex. They weren't "born that way" it was a conscious choice they made."
They may have made a conscious choice to act out on their gay impulses at last, but it doesn't mean the seed to be or act gay wasn't there from the start. Again, it depends what kind of soil that seed was put in and whether it was allowed to grow or not. It's like atavism or talent. If you don't nurture some parts of what makes you you, it might never appear to exist. To take this example further, although I'm probably fertile to procreate, I won't have children owing to the fact that I haven't planted my seed in soil, or the right soil. And even if I have, it's not been nurtured to grow to become a child. But it doesn't mean that my seed doesn't exist from the onset.
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imn ok had a small fire a moment ago buts its now out and i just giggled like a girl as always when nervous
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I'm not saying there is. We don't know yet, and no one seems to be sure... But by the same logic, some people think that God doesn't exist. What I am saying is there is a possibility that... not asserting that... Disagree all you want. It makes neither of us right.
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princealbertofb Wrote:What happened, honey?
A few things. I was told that I 'look scary and capable of molesting children' and that I 'look like a devil worshipper' and that my hair is ugly, my nose is huge, my teeth/smile is 'fucked up.' Then while discussing this with a friend (another gay guy) he told me that I need to just accept comments like that because I'm 'very few people's type.' Ouch. I'm over it now but it really stung at the time.
As for the other things eating away at me, someone that I knew (but wasnt EXTREMELY close to) committed suicide and I wasn't able to go to his funeral. My ex is shoving his new relationship whenever he can. Multiple rejections (usually appearance based) have also made it hard to talk to people in person so I've pretty much become a recluse lately. I hate it that in Florida, you have to be drop dead gorgeous and rich in order to even obtain friendship. :/
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It is, indeed, rather shallow thinking...
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