My EX wants me to change

[Kiid]

Yaaaaay better sex will solve all life's problems u.u

I think there may also have been lots of small things that needed changed. I know that I nitpick my ex partners and always find an excuse . I'm quite bad for it and I know I can't be the only one.

[LateBloomer]

Hey.

If health, money and peer pressure isn't enough motivation to stop smoking and drinking maybe better sex is a good enough reason.

I mean, Jesus Christ, what else does he need? A formal written command from the Queen of England?

Otherwise, stop complaining, roll over and be a good bottom.

JMHO.

[tomking]

Well my sex drive has always been out of control..I am always horny.

It is very interesting what you say about narcissism.

So far as I can figure out my own pathology in terms of sex so far I quite like to bite and be in control..often when I have random sex it never works because they come wanting a sub bottom and I am a happy bottom but have their dominant nature...demanding nature, i want to bite them, scratch them, gag them, tie them up, hurt them [within safe perimerters of consenting adults during sex nothing illegal or dangerous]

Perhaps my ex boyfriend knows everything you have all said ... Perhaps he figured me out before I figured myself out...Most probably..I do know this if after a long period of time away and not always thinking about him if I still want to fight for him then surely that is a sign to him there is something there? I mean everybody move on so easily these days..just move on they say, find another...grrr...

I am trying to think about it from his perspective now you have pointed me out as a narcissist ... perhaps I am? I know in my professional life I am an artist/comedian and I suppose that is all about building your own image/ego and creating a product i.e.myself to market to an audience to eventually sell tickets etc so I suppose if I am a narcissist it is a necessary evil for my career?

I am now thinking as much as I want to do all the things I have said I will do for my ex and meet him. Maybe I should not? Not because I may get more hurt but because I am now just going to push myself more into his life when it is abundantly clear he does not want that? Perhaps the paradox now is that he wanted me to change but to truly change I can no longer contact him because to do so would show no change and simply be a reversion back to my previous self of doing what I want to do and when I want to do it?

I just looked at a photo of him and fell in love with him all over again.

[LANSONJ]

I think changing little things about yourself is okay. Dont go changing your personality or anything like that. In my opinion you've done what you can.... just sit back and wait (trust me I know how difficult this is). If he wants you he'll come get you.