04-19-2013, 05:57 PM
You seem to be taking considered and rational decisions given the distress you must be feeling. Taking a break and moving out are probably the right things to do.
As to the nine years, you may want to consider it as a sunk cost. Whatever happens you're not getting those years back and for the most part it was good; after all. those years were going to be spent doing something. Any decision you make must be based on your guess as to what the future holds and what it will be like in the light of this new information.
At the moment you're still not thirty, starting again is a realistic option. It could be starting again with the man you've already spent years with, or you may choose another or perhaps none at all for a while. What should help you think more clearly is to exclude the nine years you've already spent together from your consideration. I'll wish you luck but I suspect your own intelligence will have more effect on the outcome.
As to the nine years, you may want to consider it as a sunk cost. Whatever happens you're not getting those years back and for the most part it was good; after all. those years were going to be spent doing something. Any decision you make must be based on your guess as to what the future holds and what it will be like in the light of this new information.
At the moment you're still not thirty, starting again is a realistic option. It could be starting again with the man you've already spent years with, or you may choose another or perhaps none at all for a while. What should help you think more clearly is to exclude the nine years you've already spent together from your consideration. I'll wish you luck but I suspect your own intelligence will have more effect on the outcome.