I hate who I am

[EuroGuy1]

Thanks for your replies you guys. I'm trying to stay positive, although it's hard at times. There will be a point within now or two years I'll need a beard -_-

Being myself is just not an option unfortunately I love my family and I owe everything I have to my parents, it's just frustrating they won't accept the fact that a person is more than his sexuality. In 90% of the time I get along with them but sometimes it's just so hard sitting with them and listening how lgbt people are disgusting, unnatural and sinful I'm Muslim btw

[SolemnBoy]

Don't feel pathetic because you pity yourself. There's nothing wrong with that at all!

Some people in this thread have said you need to re-evaluate your beliefs. I don't necessarily think you need to do that. You should be careful to use religion as a way of comfort alone but you don't need to leave your faith because most people in it disapprove of homosexuality. You should probably think it through and then see how you feel about it.

When it comes to hating yourself I just need to ask why exactly you do that? You said "because i'll never be able to be myself" which simply isn't true! There's nothing stopping you from being who you are, not even your family. Sure they've raised you and taken care of you but if they condemn your lifestyle and stand in the way of your happiness you don't owe them anything. Why isn't being yourself an option?

Also, of course I can't prove this, but in most cases when someone says "everyone hates me" that's simply not true. Sometimes people just imagine themselves as being hated by the people around them because they assume they're such low human beings that they could never be liked or loved. However, some people might choose not to approach someone with an "everyone hates me" mindset which might be one explanation to your problem with finding friends. I mean you come off as a nice guy in your posts!

I'm not sure what you can do to solve this but perhaps you should try to find out exactly why you hate yourself so much. After you've done that you will probably realize that you don't have any real reasons for it. If not, then at least it'll give you something to work with. If you want to talk more about it there are lots of people here for you! You can write to me or any of the others that offered it whenever you feel like it

[Kiid]

I have a solution. Ignore the religion and figure out who you are. There is more to real religion that what the bible says. The bible is full of lies and god can only be found by you. You should refind religion in your own mind. God is there somewhere if you want him to be there. But you might find more than god. God means love and if god cannot provide love then he is false.

[ardus]

This is my opinion

GOD doesn't hate.

I was raised in a VERY traditional religious home, and when I was younger, as I was discovering my sexuality, I had some very difficult times.

With time and thought I've come to basically one conclusion.

I believe in God, I believe I'm one of his children, and I belive his children were made in his image. I don't believe he would have made me the way I am if it didn't please him.

Maybe some of us are chosen for harder times for reasons we don't know, but, being who you are, is NEVER wrong.

Richard

[Juniorlove]

God.

God is a personal experience and you should really seek to have a personal connection with God and not allow others to tell you what God wants for You.

I'm not sure what God wants for you, however I have 47 years of life which clearly indicate that God wanted me to be as queer as a three dollar bill.

God speaks to each of us in a manner and form which the individual understands. I 'hear' God speaking to me... No I do not hear voiced in my head... well not ones from God. However I look back at my life and see an influence which appears to have guided me to where I am today.

Either there is a lot of coincidence in my life, or this is God influencing me.

For me, the question of 'is it ok to be gay?' Was answered when I turned to God to remove those 'nasty' emotions, and He turned around and threw me into a very quiet, 14.5 year relationship which was, compared to my previous experiences, the best damn relationship ever.

There are gay affirming churches:

There is also a reasonable, scholarly argument for each and everyone of those verses thrown up to 'prove' God hates gays. The truth is that there is strong evidence that God loves Gays, and has even blessed three potential gay relationships in the bible. John and David, Ruth and Naomi, and then Jesus himself had an encounter with a Centurion who loved his pais so much he took great risks to seek the assistance from a healer who was part of an occupied people.

If God/The bible is such an issue to you, we live in the age of internet - I strongly suggest you look up the sites for 'Gay Christians' and 'Gay affirming Bible Verses' and start studying. This isn't like it was back in my day where one had to go on long searches for books on the subject.. books well hidden from the average person.

Parents.

Jesus told us to Respect our parents. Some times respect means you walk away and leave a person be. If the differences between you are your folks are so terrible as they cannot be resolved, then its high time you walk away.

Honestly, I did that oh about 18 years ago, around the time I got clean and sober. My mother died in 2007 and I didn't learn about her demise until late 2012 from a third party who did an internet search.

My father is, presumably, still alive. But he and I haven't spoken in well over a decade, not even a Christmas card exchange.

Being estranged does have a few problems, you feel utterly alone when you walk away from your blood family, and it is hard for most people to understand that some parents are just not decent folk that their offspring should be around.

However, if that is what it takes for you to be 'happy' in life, then walk.


Actually you are the person you are - yes all of this 'miserable' stuff you think ain't you is you - this is who you are.

I'm not saying you can't change (if you want to you can) - I'm just saying that you are being you right now.

I will cut you some slack, you are young and have yet to get a good sense of who you are as an adult in the world. By age 30 you will have a much better grasp on that and will have a much clearer idea of how to proceed.

Which is to say that this too will pass and eventually it will get better. Maybe not easier, maybe not super nice, but better.

Flawless post.

[Rainbowmum]

There is not much more I can add to the brilliant advice others have given you.

Sweetie you can't fight nature ,you are who you are and the sooner you accept this the easier things will get.

People will treat you the way you allow them.
What you feel about yourself is projected when you meet others , you can change it ,but it will take time and self acceptance .

As for you being normal or not normal that's just a perception from someone's expectations.
Work on accepting yourself and liking that person that you are and slowly you will be able to project that to others.

We are all here for you.