That's probably why I'm single.

[confusedboy]

I'm pretty sure I'm single because I'm picky. And here are the reasons why:

I like a guy that is:
Tall or my height (5'6)
cute obviously.
White, Middle Eastern or Spanish guys
skinny, tones or muscular (not like the hulk though)
not hairy.

I feel like my preferences stop me from dating certain guys, like I can date a guy with some hair. I don't know if I can date someone is chubby or huge which sounds shallow but I'm a little guy. And I like to be with someone who takes care of themselves.

[kokomoloko79]

Theres nothing wrong with having a preference I think most of us do. I know no matter what I could never date a smoker so I know what you mean about a person taking care of themselves.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

There is nothing wrong with having preferences, we all do to one degree or another.

The issue that you need to be slightly wary of however is that what your actually doing is waiting for Mr Perfect to come along. You will have a very long wait.

Falling in love and maintaining relationships is about compromises. It always will be unless your falling for a clone of yourself.

ObW
X

[Wade]

Falling in love and maintaining relationships is about compromises. It always will be unless your falling for a clone of yourself.

ObW
X

This makes me think of a Simon Amstell joke:

"I know I'm a narcissist, because I think what I'm really looking for is a version of myself, only better, which is really unfortunate, because it means I need to find someone who's looking for a version of himself, only worse.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I have my list of preferences in men. It is really a short list.

* I prefer 'masculine' type guys - 'butch' 'manly men' 'straight acting' whatever the term is you want to use.
* I prefer men who are as tall or taller than me, I'm currently a touch over 6'1" in my youth I was a touch over 6'2" (the older we get the shorter we get - damned gravity).
* I prefer 'bearish' type men... Thick, not necessarily well muscled, and not actually fat either - muscly fat - if that means anything. Body hair a plus +!


#1, #2, #3 met each of those categories.

#1 lasted a bit over 2 years (he ended up going to prison for murder) . Other than getting involved in robberies with guns and shooting bartenders - he was an over al nice fella - well at least he was nice to me.

#2 Lasted 11 months, it ended with his beating me a little and then stalking me a lot for 3 months after). Apparently Cocaine and Tequila don't mix well with Native Americans.

#3 Lasted around 2 years, that ended when he broke my heart and my arm. He was a body builder, and in the second year he started using steroids. Apparently 'Roid Rage really happens.

#4. Was tall and masculine, but on the thinnish side. As a plus he oozed testosterone. Great guy, he was the first to slide a needle in my arm and got me hooked on IV meth use. He just ended up walking away one day and never coming back. An on again off again relationship of about 3 years. Of course it was a three-way relationship as we both loved our third partner, methamphetamine.

#5 Lasted 6 months, this was not an issue of preferences but of personalities, #5 is a bitch - and knows it and will tell you directly 'I'm a mega-bitch' - on the bright side I was the first to break the 3 month prior record of his for relationships - either I'm very patient or incredibly stupid.

#6, shorter than me, leaner than me, and a bit fem lasted for 14 years... He doesn't meet any of my preferences.

While #6 did cheat on me, apparently frequently and with many men (at least 120 if the math adds up) He did bring a lot of really nice stuff to the table. We never actually 'fought', sure we had disagreements, but it wasn't broken bones, sutures or his screaming at me day and night. We had a quiet life together, we complimented each other in many ways which at the time I just didn't see.

Physically he is not my 'type' - in fact he is pretty much as opposite as one can get from my type without sliding into dating women... OK not that bad - but close.

My point, don't get all hung up in 'types'. In the end its not body type that is going to determine if you have a happy relationship or not, it boils down to personalities and sanity of the individuals and the relationship.

[SolemnBoy]

Well. You can have any preferences you like but I noticed that all of the things you listed were physical. I'm not one to question other people's priorities but it does sound strange to limit yourself SO much just by physical preferences. Just saying.

[MisterTinkles]

I'm pretty sure I'm single because I'm picky. And here are the reasons why:

I like a guy that is:
Tall or my height (5'6)
cute obviously.
White, Middle Eastern or Spanish guys
skinny, tones or muscular (not like the hulk though)
not hairy.

I feel like my preferences stop me from dating certain guys, like I can date a guy with some hair. I don't know if I can date someone is chubby or huge which sounds shallow but I'm a little guy. And I like to be with someone who takes care of themselves.

Nothing wrong with personal preferences.....

BUT....

I find it offensive that you think all chubby and fat people DONT take care of themselves!
Now THAT is SHALLOW!!!

I had a friend back in high school, her whole family was fat. No, they werent pigs, no they didnt constantly eat at buffet restaurants, and no, they didnt eat tons of sweets and candy!
Actually, her father was the "normal" sized one, but her mother was pretty large. And she couldnt help it, it was in her DNA. She had years and years of doctor visits and tests and diets, and nothing worked. Her DNA made them fat, not what they ate or how they lived!

I have a good friend now who is obese, simply because her body doesnt have the means to lose fat weight. She might can lose 50 pounds, but thats always been the stopping point.
She cant help it either, thats the way her body is built.

I got chunky after getting out of high school, and I pretty much kept it down. But then in 2009 I was diagnosed with diabetes (not from food problems) and I have not been able to loose any weight since. And because Im diabetic, I cant go on my diets that I used to use, simply because it would damage my kidneys even more.

And a LOT of people use and abuse food, as most people do alcohol.
Food makes you feel better. It tastes good and there's a large, cheap supply of it.
So when your'e lonely, and people treat you like shit and tell you your'e fat and ugly and that you will always be alone because your'e a fucking beached whale......an ice cream cone makes you feel better, just like a chocolate bar, or a hamburger.


So I find it very offensive you think just because somebody is chubby or fat, that they are that way because they WANT to be that way.



If you dont find chubbies or fatties attractive, thats fine. Some other people do.
Its more difficult for chubby and fat people to find someone, because we dont all have the luxury of not being taunted, teased, and ridiculed for the way we look.

And believe this or not.....I started going out in the gay part of Dallas when I was 17 (and skinny).
And I was NEVER hit on.
But once I gained about 50 pounds, I had guys hitting on me!


I dont prefer guys who are fatter than I am, because Im not attracted to it. But Im not going to limit myself because of it, I might be missing out on a great friend, or an addition to my personal family. And I have been with a guy that was bigger than me, but thats because he was a super sweet guy, who had a great personality....and that was sexy enough for me.

[Nick9]

Have you also considered the possibility that your Mr. Perfect can look very different after several years of your relationship? Will you leave him then?
And if not, why not being a bit flexible today too?

[HomeagainNYC]

Love, rarely if ever, comes wrapped in the packet we expected; infatuation on the other hand, quite often, does.

I'm sure you'll find that out.

[Xela]

I like a guy that is:
Tall or my height (5'6)
cute obviously.
White, Middle Eastern or Spanish guys
skinny, tones or muscular (not like the hulk though)
not hairy.

Damn, those are nearly my exact same preferences. I think preferences provide a starting point for attraction and are normal and a good thing. However, it is good to be flexible.