supasyd Wrote:hi thanks everyone for helping me. I am not celebrating my negativity I am trying to open up. of course I want to be loved. Everybody does, although my previous experiences with love have brought me a lot of pain. I know I'm a very negative person but that's not something I can change overnight.
Sorry if anything I said was to harsh. I hate seeing cute guys be down on themselves.
The alien feeling you describe is not at all uncommon. Count me as a fellow alien. I don't know why people chatter away about unimportant things all day on the phone, and in person. Ever since Jr High I would just sit there and listen and think, why in the hell are they worried about such things. Made me a good listener, and gained me many an acquaintance but I didn't consider anyone who dumped their problems on me unwanted to be friends.
My boyfriend and I have had a rocky relationship. The moment he walked into my apartment I knew I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. I knew I was seeing a kindred spirit, and a good and giving soul. Though my life has been comfortable, including my 21 year marriage to a sweet, loving woman (who I finally just couldn't see myself living with forever,) it has always felt incomplete.
So, the next time you are thinking, I'll always be single, I'll never find the "one," remember my story. 51 years old and I'm in love with a man who I wasn't even looking for at the time. Keep your life story in perspective, you are barely into the dating scene, barely experienced with everything there is in life. I think that's what rubbed me wrong about this thread, your finality. You have your whole life to find love. Just because you are in a tough spot now with it, doesn't mean you wont find someone next week, next month, next year who will fulfill you.
In the mean time, don't give up on yourself, you are cute, quirky and have value beyond being a quickie. I think it is both adorable, and heartbreaking that you fall so deeply for someone so quickly. Wish I had met someone like you when I was at university. You just have to find the right person who values you for who you are, not what you can do for them. If certain actions on your part, or others are causing you distress, stop doing them. Stop letting things happen to you, and take control. You have the power to say no to people, and you need to have control over your emotions when pursuing someone. Find a purpose in your life beyond finding someone to love you. That shouldn't define who you are.
Luv ya boo,
Keith