Confused - feeling of betrade trust

[Shanep]

I am sure you guys have head all this before but here goes,

I have been in a relationship with my bf for the past 4.5 years and we live and own a property together. We are of different ages 24 - 38, but that is not an issue for my BF as he likes the older guys.

About 3 years ago he cheated on me and contracted HepB and almost died as it was rather a severe case. He never told be he cheated on me and I always had my suspicions. It was not until we brought a place together than he told me. I needed time to deal with it as I am a mono person guy with a very big heart. Anyway I forgive him but that will always stick with me.

He likes to get on webcam and flirt its just his thing and I have mentioned that I am not so keen on it all but its what he likes to do.

This year he cheated on me cos lust got the better of him. Since April each month we have been having a disagreement over having a 3some, I am not the type to want it and he is, and calls me old and boring.

Anyway I decided to do it with him sometime this week and had arranged to meet a couple who have a lot of experience, but he could not wait and got talking to a drugged up guy on grindr who wanted to come round last night I was not so keen and he was like a dog on heat, then the guy decided to hookup another guy he was chatting to and invite him too, we had not prepared for this and I was asked to go to the shop for some condoms, but my gut said this was not right and I refused. Now he does not want to have a 3some and is very annoyed with me. I thought I could at least get through this month without any upset but it don't look like I can.

Can someone give some advice please as I am starting to feel a bit frikken crazy.

[Pix]

I'd kick him to the curb. I don't think he has any respect or consideration for you, at least going by this.

[jimcrackcorn]

Don't let him persuade you to do something that you don't want to do. Stick to your guns, and continue to refuse his request for "Sex With Strangers".

Maybe your boyfriend needs to be reminded again about the dangers of having sex with people you don't know well. He almost died from contracting an STD in the past, and unless he has a death wish, he should refrain from such stupid encounters.

Does he want to turn your home into a damn disease infected Bath House where strangers can just pop in and get off!!!

32 years ago I might not be so harsh about these situations, but now days you need to consider your health when jumping into bed with someone,,,, and condoms don't protect you from every STD as some are transmitted by simply touching another persons skin.

This isn't a reason for breaking up in my opinion, unless he starts having random sex with strangers and then coming home and wanting to have sex with you, thereby spreading what ever STD he may have picked up - to you!!!!. You need to let your boyfriend know that this type of sexual behavior is dangerous for both of you and your not going to put up with it. He may be mad for a while, but it's better for him to be mad than be in a hospital with some incurable disease.

If worse comes to worse, you may have to sell the home that you own together and bring the relationship to an end. I hope this doesn't happen.

Sincerely,
Jim

[LateBloomer]

Cheaters cheat. That's what they do.
And do.
And do...

Neither of you value the same things in terms of what it means to be in a relationship.

[Kenny221]

What an immature-ass guy. Look sir, you can't let this guy convince you doing something you're not comfortable with. I also agree with what others say.....cheaters will always cheat. Sad but it's the truth. I know you probably like this man alot ( why else would you put up with all his bull shit?) but sir, you deserve someone better. You said you got a big heart, and I'm sure you can find someone who will respect you're boundaries and your comfort level.

Hell to be honest if I were you, I would have left that man already. A relationship is important and special. It should also be equal, and from what I see, you boyfriend thinks he's in control. He is not. You are. I think what you need to do is have a serious discussion about what you guys both want out of this relationship. I knew this age-difference relationship would be difficult seeing how you two are in different phases in life, but it should NEVER be this one sided. Again, have a talk with him, discuss what you guys both want out of this 'relationship' and what's 'missing'. If nothing works....I think you should sell your house .

I wish you best of luck man , and may you find someone who equally has a big heart to love you, and only you.

[Geminize]

Hate to say it, but this doesn't sound good. You need to weigh what you love about this guy against the extreme and growing differences between the two of you. Stand your ground, and if he can't live with that (or you can't trust that he can) it's time to make a break.

Be strong!

[Ryocchi]

you two look for dfferent things and sorry to say this the way you worded the post makes me thing the guy is only using you to take care of him, evaluate your relationship, is this what yu trully want for you? giving up to wathever he pleases? there are a lot of guys who would appreciate that big heart of yours and would reciprocate you in the same way, don't be afraid to be alone, taken and unhappy is never better than being single.

[Tulloni]

There's the STD threat to worry about but also isn't it a bit dangerous of him to suggest you bring strange men over for sex. I mean neither of you know what they'll be like. I may've read this wrong and am not 100 percent sure but you remember those kids in Russia who were beaten up and humiliated on camera by those Russian neo-nazi cunts (scuse my language)? I think they were lured into a trap by some fake advert on some dating site.

Okay, I know the context seems very different and it is a different country but the same principal applies - you can't trust those people and they could be homophobes. It's just as well they didn't come over in the end.