It just makes me wonder about the whole "nature vs nurture" argument. Some people think you can make a child gay based on how they're raised and what they're exposed to. Then the parents are all like, "Oh god, where did I go wrong!" But most people say that isn't true because one's sexuality is given to them at birth and how they're raised won't affect anything. But if our sexual preferences change and evolve, then wouldn't the nurture side of the argument be kind of true?
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^Yes, the CONFUSED one. I just don't know if I'm bisexual and I'm just now discovering my gay side, or if I'm straight and for whatever reason am going through a gay porn phase....
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You have as many social skills as anyone else. Sometimes the people around you that seem so confident are just as shy as you. Take a chance, the worst that can happen is they say no.
As for your questioning your sexuality, pay attention to your spontaneous responses. See who makes your head turn in the 3D real world, and that should give you a clue. Porn is weird in that you can lust after the people in it or instead identify with the people in it, or a little of both. What excites you in porn should only be part of your thought process.
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For years i bought into this "no such thing as bi" bullshit and it confused the hell out of me, I was hooking up with both but still society tries to tell you that you are in denial and you're actually gay. I even half bought into it and thought maybe society is right, I even TRIED being fullblown gay, but then i'd be at a party and find myself trying to get in a girls pants.
Then i thought fuck trying to figure it out, fuck society, I'm just going to what I want, and after years i figured bisexuality MUST exist because its the only term that possibly fits me.
As for porn i believe if you watch gay porn then you are somewhat bi or gay, porn was the trigger for me and when I eventually tried it I knew that yes, there is something there. But your situation is a bit unique as you're a virgin, but if you can get turned on by naked men on screen, then there is SOMETHING there, you may not be gay but you might be bi. This notion that full blown straight guys can get turned on by gay porn I don't really buy.
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My boyfriend, who is bisexual, admitted to me that he's watched gay porn for a long time, considering himself "straight" all the while. Apparently, this is because a lot of "straight" individuals believe that finding gay sex scenes exciting is normal behavior for a heterosexual. Admittedly, I can't blame them, when I learned sexual education, I was taught that homosexual feelings towards friends were normal, and that most men would "mature into appreciating women".
This is where I sometimes conflict with others. This is because personally, I equate straight with "exclusively heteosexual". That is to say, viewing gay porn simply wouldn't excite said person. You aren't really fitting that.
So, you probably aren't 'straight', but maybe you'll end up considering yourself straight anyway. I don't really care, that part is up to you. Really, I believe you should be allowed to self define yourself as honestly as possible. And I'm sure you will, you seem to be on track to figuring yourself out.
Good luck.
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