How to politely reject a guy who has a crush on me?

[Anonymous]

So I'm gay and I'm receiving lots of attention from someone I'm not interested in. I met this guy in my friend's birthday party, he's her cousin. When he saw me he started to show his interest to me, shyly at first, later openly. He wanted to dance with me and when we were sitting and drinking something, he asked me many questions about myself and told me a lot about himself. I knew that I'm not interested already from the moment I saw him, so I just treated him as a friend. Most of all I don't like him physically, because he's feminine and I don't like feminine men. I'm masculine myself and I like men like me. I couldn't be into someone who resembles a woman to me.

I thought that the party was the first and the last time I see him, but few days later he called me. I wondered how, as I didn't give him my number and then he was like "I forgot to ask your number, so I asked your friend." I tried my best to not to sound annoyed. He wanted to have a cup of coffee with me, I didn't want to go, so I made up a story about some urgent things to do. The next day he called me again and again I thought of something.

I don't know what to do about this. I realize I cannot make up excuses all the time. The thing is that I've never rejected anyone before so I don't really know how to do it. He seems quite fragile and emotional to me and I don't want to hurt or offend him terribly. In his place I would already understood that the other guy doesn't want to do anything with me. Doesn't he really feel my unwillingness? Should I just tell him point blank that I don't like him and don't want to make anything with him?

[partis]

make yourself unattractive, let him think its his choice or just tell him theres someone else you have liked for a while.

[Pix]

Tell him you're not ready for a relationship. That is unless you're playing the field and he knows it then a more direct answer is needed. If he's not mature enough to handle simple honesty then you know you dodged the bullet on that one!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Go through the forums here and look at how many people are 'confused' then the person they are interested in tries to play nice. It never ends well. It leaves the person guessing and hoping they still have a chance with you if you say shit like 'Lets be friends'.

You are not interested in him - tell him that point blank and forget friendship because he will never, ever be able to actually see you as a friend - he will only see you as a potential mate.

Rejection is brutal, hurtful and there is no really nice way to hurt a person.

Next guy who starts playing friends don't feed him - be perfectly honest and say right from the start 'Sorry, i have no interest in you.'

What you are doing is more cruel than you can believe - you are leaving room for false hope.

[nfisher1226]

Yup. Tell the whole truth. You don't have to be a dick about it, but tell him you're not interested.

[dfiant1]

Honesty is the best policy, a little bit of tact thrown in won't hurt either

[Waylon777]

Hmmm. I agree on telling the whole truth. It's nice to get him off the hook before it turns really weird.. Plus, you are wither way sort of breaking someone's affection, so he's gonna get hurt no matter what.(Just depends on to what degree he is hurt) So try to make things sound neutral, and tell him like you are not interested in relationship right now.

[putresVigil]

[COLOR="Indigo"]Be honest with him but don't be a jerk. There is no reason to tell him why you are uninterested, simply that you are uninterested. I know it is scary, but being nice and stringing him along isn't the way to go. And don't let his feminine qualities fool you; I have been friends with quite a few feminine guys. Girly mannerisms are not indicative of emotional weakness or frailty in the least. He is a guy, like you. He can take whatever you dish out just fine.

Bear in mind, I am making the assumption here that the reason you worry he might be "quite fragile and emotional" is because he is feminine. He showed the backbone to actually ask you to dance and showed the initiative to get your number to call you (granted, he did it the wrong way, he still did it - that takes balls). If he is giving off vibes that seem fragile and emotional in other regards, then use your judgement, of course.[/COLOR]

[Joshular]

make yourself unattractive, let him think its his choice or just tell him theres someone else you have liked for a while.

NO!!! DO NOT DO THIS!!!

Listen to teh joshular!
Use your words. Explain that you don't feel he's right for you u.u
This is not a crime. Ignore any persistence.

[Joshular]

I don't know what to do about this. I realize I cannot make up excuses all the time. The thing is that I've never rejected anyone before so I don't really know how to do it. He seems quite fragile and emotional to me and I don't want to hurt or offend him terribly. In his place I would already understood that the other guy doesn't want to do anything with me. Doesn't he really feel my unwillingness? Should I just tell him point blank that I don't like him and don't want to make anything with him?

Yes point blank then there is no grey areas!
you can be polite tho. Good luck Anon.