As always, I have my good days and bad days, but in the past few years, I've been very aware of how far behind I am when it comes to basic life. Granted, I feel way more comfortable with myself now than when I was in high school, but I'm still kind of figuring out how to socialize, I still feel awkward and insecure lot of the time, I have no experience with dating, barely any experience in the job field etc.
I know I shouldn't let it bother me too much, but it does, it kills me when I'm reminded that my friends are further ahead than me, as they always have been. I guess I expected to be caught up by now, but I'm still behind, and I'm starting to feel like I always will be. I guess that in itself isn't so bad, but I'm afraid that I might be wasting my youth, just like I wasted my teenage years, and it's a big source of anxiety for me right now. It just kind of makes me feel "left out" if you will. Not to mention I keep attracting the wrong people, and I've been told that I don't look approachable, among other things. I try to look positive, but what am I supposed to do? Walk around with a permanent grin on my face? I can't help the way I look.
Basically, it's been a tough, confusing year. Some people praise me for my looks/personality, while other people tell me that I'm cold/unapproachable. And then there's me, I really don't know what I think about myself. I try to praise and embrace myself, and it does work sometimes, but other times, I just feel incapable of giving myself the support I need, and as embarrassing as it is for me to admit, I am pretty vulnerable to being judged, even though I know that what other people think shouldn't matter.
I know that there are other people out there who have been where I am now, so if you are one of those people, please tell me what you did to get yourself out of this. I'm open to any advice, thank you for reading.
-Bluelight
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All as long as you try to be like everyone else you can't actually be you, and chances are high you will fail being someone you're not.
I don't conform, I walk to the beat of my own drum - I flat refuse to be like everyone else and I am far more content in life for it. Happy? Sometimes, but not always. I am however content and rarely seek for more than what I have because what I have is all I need.
If I tried to live like everyone else around me I would go stark raving mad. Well I am stark raving mad, so I guess that doesn't count.... I think you know what we mean.
Sheesh.
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I know the feeling Bluelight..
It's only up until last year where I figured out what I need to do,
where I want to be and what I want to do with my life.
I know the feeling of seeing your old friends and classmates doing
all sorts of stuff and meanwhile you look at your life and you go,
"Shit, what did I do today..?"
Someone told me that you can't compare your life to someone else
because that's not your life. It might seem that there's cookie-cutter way
of living your life, like graduating HS, going to University/College, graduating
again, getting a job, finding a lover, getting married, having kids, etc.. etc..
But everyone experiences life differently, if we all did the same thing, then
what's the point of living if you already know what's ahead.
It's one of things that I have to come to terms with last year. I used to
feel like, "Oh Bry, you're so late everyone in your year is like married, with
good jobs, living in a house, popping kids left and right.. etc.. etc.."
But I just tell myself, "That's not your life Bry, there's is far more better
things in store for you in the future~!"
good luck~ I'm sure you'll figure it out too :]
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Well, sir..
it seems you need to stop trying to meet othe people's expectations..simple
focus first on seeing yourself in a more positive note and focus in what you expect of yourself nevermind what everyone think you should expect...
then set goals..short term achievable goals and linearize them, meaning put them in a sequence over time, so when you achieve the first goal you go to the next and with a little self-esteem boost in succeding..having long term goals is a must, but to focus in those big, often scary, goals, will make you anxious specially when you have short term failures...
look into, for example, getting a job in summer, or whenever you can...something that can give you a bit of money and experience...
start little..focus on one goal, prioritize...
I assure you that when you achieve these little goals, you will improve how you see yourself, and that confidence is very helpful for when you want to date, as it will show...
I know a bit what you mean, cause I am that awkward guy too...I focused on work and it paid off...now I'm getting ready to dive into dating...so try it..
best of lucks
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Blue light, I see so much of myself in you. I didn't come out until I was 27 I only had one loving relationship that was just way to shaky to be lasting. It was twelve years ago. I have been left behind by my friends as it were. Yet now that I am older I feel that my path was just right for me. I was hard on myself for dropping out of college, for not dating, for not moving out of my folks house again. But only through that did I find my purpose. I have my career straight I am still on the very beginning of it but it is a perfect fit for me.
Bluelight do not lose hope. Your twenties are the most trying time in your life. You will get through it. Hope is sometimes the only thing we have, but your future is brighter than it may appear. Your youth is but a moment in your life and your struggles and failures and triumphs make you who you are. They shape you into a person that will survive and thrive.
Don't give up before your life even starts. You are but twenty there is plenty of youth in you. Getting older isn't a bad thing. Looking back on things you tend to see it through rose colored glasses. Forgetting the tribulation and remembering the result.
Time never goes backward all you have is the future. The struggles you face now will be forgotten and the positives will be remembered. Hind sight is 20/20. The future can be bright. Don't be afraid.
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I know how you feel, believe me. It's never easy to realize you've been sitting on the sideline instead of being in the game. I plan to change my situation, and get in the game, regardless. I know you can too, it's never too late to do something. Set some goals, and work toward them, then you'll have earned something wonderful. There will be hard times, rough times, but there will also be great times, memories that will remain with you. And those memories, those moments frozen in time, are worth soo much more than anything in the world! You'll sort it out, I believe in you!
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hank Wrote:Don't give up before your life even starts. You are but twenty there is plenty of youth in you. Getting older isn't a bad thing. Looking back on things you tend to see it through rose colored glasses. Forgetting the tribulation and remembering the result.
Time never goes backward all you have is the future. The struggles you face now will be forgotten and the positives will be remembered. Hind sight is 20/20. The future can be bright. Don't be afraid.
Such a great way to put it. I'll remember that, thank you 
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Bluelight Wrote:Such a great way to put it. I'll remember that, thank you My pleasure blue light. It isn't a lie when people say it gets better. It really does.
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The worst thing you can do is start comparing yourself to others - you know the saying its allways greener on the other side of the fence? Well when you think about yourself with respect to others then you are never going to live up to your own expectations.
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Well first off apologies for sounding like a broken record when I say this again but all the things u said ring true for me as well. I felt that way for a while all my freinds seem to be getting into long term relationships or finding there perfect job and I just seemed to be left at the side lines not even knowing who I was or what I was gonna do (this was made worse by my whole trying to be normal like everyone else attitude). It started to really get me down but then one day I realised what everyone on here has jus said and I should just accept that this is the cards I've been delt and need to live my life not someone else's.
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