He's my bestfriend, FWB but he has a girlfriend

[clickinpics]

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to share my story and wanted some advice from you of my relationship with my bestfriend/FWB.

I'm not an open gay and no one knows about it (most people curious). I never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend. I fantasize of guys but I want to have a relationship with girls.

I've known this best friend for 5 years. He comes from good family and he's the only child. 5 years ago, we started our relationship as friends who met in the university's orientation. I became friends with him because he is a very attractive and good looking guy. I am a very helpful friend, especially to him.

We were a very good friends and we hung out almost everyday in first semester of college. I was always want to be with him and I think he knows that (but he didn't know I was gay though). We had oversea trips together. 6 months later, I decided to tell him I like him (first guy I ever confess) and he asked me if i only want sex or relationship, i told him i wanted both. he told me he already has someone he likes (girl), so i told him I'm sorry and I didnt mean to hurt our relationship. I knew I was wrong so I keep distance from him. We faded and separated from each other (saddest moment of my life) for a year.

He went out with the girl he likes (i was very truly happy for them, but I didnt want to get things complicated, so i still didnt contact him as much). But he came back to me and wanted to sleep with me, I liked him too much that I couldnt resist. The first night we slept together(he asked for a sleepover at my place), I hugged him and he hugged me. We woke up the next day and he saw that I was having an erection, so he asked me if i wanted to do some experimental. he Iicked my nipples and turned me on and i did the same thing he did to me. Then, he asked me if he could finished off. I , again like him too much, let him helped jerk off.

After that day, we see each other like once a month or two and we slept with each other and do the same thing. We've been doing that for years now and as the time passed by, we've become best friends again. (we've done oral sex and we tried backdoors (both of us) once)

I felt bad for his girlfriend and I 100% don't want to break their relationships apart. But I love him so much, I couln't resist to see him. Plus, no one else knows that I like men, only him. We've been doing this for 5 years now, i've visited his family and he had visited mine.

I can feel that he has this feeling for me too (whenever we were apart for months and we finally see each other again, when we sleep tgt he hugs me and kisses me, like he really really really miss me).

We are in different countries now because I have to work overseas, but either him or I fly to visit one another within 4-5 months. I think hes still with his girlfriend. For me, I only have him.

I seriously have no clue what I should do...
I dont really know what he's thinking and I feel really bad for his girlfriend...

I need your feedback and advice, please let me know what you guys think. Do you think there's a chance for us to be more than just best friend/ friend with benefits? or should i stop this thing.

PS. Sorry for my broken english.

[clickinpics]

forgot to mentioned, we've done oral and tried backdoor once but didnt went well, so we mostly keep it to 3rd

[megumidesu]

whatever you want to do with him , and however much you like him , is completely irrelevant because he has a girlfriend.

if you were in a relationship with someone (guy or girl , doesn't matter), and you found out that they were hooking up with one of their friends , how would you feel ?

it's completely unfair of both of you. stop it.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Cheater.

Or if you prefer, mistress.... This is what you are. YOU are the other woman.

I personally flat refuse to be anyone's 'second best' let alone the 'other woman'.

Trust me, you keep doing this she will find out - they always find out, and she will hate your guts perhaps enough to out you to everyone.

Look, you have a blackmailable secret - I strongly suggest you don't cross up anyone to where they will out you.

[Woollyhats]

Never go out with a cheater.

Sorry, but he's going out with this girl right now --- think if the tables were turned and you were dating him and he was off sleeping with girls? You'd probably feel like dirt, that he doesn't really love you.

Cheating is a habitual behaviour, and if you continue your affair with him and 'win him', you may discover him doing the same thing with you...

[BYoNexus]

whatever you want to do with him , and however much you like him , is completely irrelevant because he has a girlfriend.

if you were in a relationship with someone (guy or girl , doesn't matter), and you found out that they were hooking up with one of their friends , how would you feel ?

it's completely unfair of both of you. stop it.

This, and I will add its also unfair to her as well

[marshlander]

It sounds like you did well to break it off for a year. I think it is unlikely that you will get the kind of satisfaction and fulfilment that you want from this relationship in the long term and, as Bowyn has pointed out, things could turn very bad. You can't be responsible for your friend's behaviour, but do you hold yourself in high enough esteem to feel you deserve better?

I'm sure you have some kind of social life wherever it is you are working. Why not cultivate your life away from your friend? It may help you see things in more perspective. It also seems to me that part of the problem is around remaining closeted. While you feel unable to come out you will accept second best and you will constantly be looking over your shoulder. I think you are probably worth more than that. Good luck.

[megumidesu]

This, and I will add its also unfair to her as well

when i said "it's unfair of both of you" , i did mean that what both these guys are/were doing is unfair on her ...

[CellarDweller]

I personally flat refuse to be anyone's 'second best' let alone the 'other woman'.

Couldn't have said it better. I refuse to be someone's dirty little secret. You deserve someone who will be with you in the sun, not only in the shadows.

I'm willing to bet he's cheated on her before, and if you were a couple, you'd be the one being cheated on.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Your both relatively young, and its convenient easy sex. Its not love, its lust.

You can't give yourself the title "curious" after sleeping around with this guy for a couple of years, then say you really want to be in a relationship with a girl.

If you really feel bad for his girlfriend, zip your pants up and go sow your curious oats somewhere else.

ObW
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