If I killed myself do you think the gay community would be happy to know I did it? I mean it is not like me dying would be a huge loss if anything depending on who you talk to it might be a good thing for to do myself in
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Nope the gay community would be sad to have lost a valuable member..
really...it's not worth it, Derek
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No lie I am heavily consdiering just ending my life, for many reasons but this issue we discussed here is a component as to why. I never asked for much just to be one of the boys like them. To be a part of their sexual escapades and live life as a young gay man.
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But I have a plan and maybe I should carry it out just to stop all of this maddness that is in my mind right now
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why?
so you can be another statistic?
try to think Derek 21 years old says nothing about how your life is going to be
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I have a mobility disease that is only to get worse over time, with the rheumatoid arthritis I am going to eventually have to use walking aids the older I get plus it is what is preventing from being able to make to nessesary physical output to get that model body too. I think I can see the future clearly already just by knowing I am going to have to face that as I get older.
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So many imperfections in an unforgiving, highly demanding pool of guys always equals disaster for me. Maybe I should find disabled guys to be with maybe they all accept me
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then you sorround yourself with people who will support you through everything.
I can't say much more..
clearly you're too ingrained into your state of mind and nothing I can say will convince you otherwise
Seek counseling please, change the air, find your friends, family and rely on them.
Stay here too, a lot of us will try and help in anyway we can
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I am sorry I am not being real rational right now my pain is doing a lot of the talking. All I need is just a hug
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Frustration at not feeling valued
