It's a bit tricky.
Well first, you mentioned "open relationship or not for that matter"..
if it's not an open relationship, that's outright cheating. Quick way to kill the love.
If it's an open relationship, the core must be your couple I would pressume. And the side partners would be a purely phsycical thing, to blow off some steam, to get something in the sexual department that you wouldn't get from your partner.
I suppose, for people mature enough and up for the task, that's even healthier, cause it takes away the temptation to cheat out of sexual non-fulfillment. It's, I think, better if no one knows when or whom the other hooks up with, granted that they both agree to exercise safe sex for their side adventures!!!!
If the couple is not mature enough, doesn't have a deep trust in one another or if the side adventures become a deeper, amorous thing, then, yes, the love bewteen the partners will die out eventually.
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Yes, I believe it diminishes the love. A few years ago I was in an open relationship although I didn't know it. I found out about his dalliances and our relationship quickly eroded. I'm the type of person that likes to be with only one person at a time. I don't date 'multi-level marketers' so to speak.
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For me it would be a trust issue and I could not handle my boyfriend sleeping around and if the trust goes then so does the relationship. I would break up rather than cheat - it is just me.
If open relationships work for other people then - great!
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I really try to understand all this , the term of open relationship. Forgive me if I m wrong but I think that we want everything ours. That means that one one side we want and we fight for equal rights etc, we desire a relationship that has the characteristics of any relationship (ie hetero). One the other hand , we want different variations of a relationship, with different characteristics , yet we want to call it a relationship. I don't know, maybe I m wrong, but I think that we should call things with their name, rather than creating illusion sub categories. There s nothing wrong not being in a relationship but when you do, keep it a relationship.
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That would drive me crazy--and that's a short ride for me. I would become so insecure that I would probably end the relationship because I would assume my boyfriend was happier with the other person(s) than with me.
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Why do so many people think that open relationships can't work?
sure things might be a little more complicated at times but it doesnt' mean that thigns can't work.
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findingmyway Wrote:That would drive me crazy--and that's a short ride for me. I would become so insecure that I would probably end the relationship because I would assume my boyfriend was happier with the other person(s) than with me.
Alright, how about a three way were you and your partner are sharing a third anonymous party? Would that leave you less scared knowing you are right there, watching and participating?
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If they agreed on the open relationship then i guess love for each other wont diminish... Given they are both into open relationships and they trust each other so much, i guess it's all okay for them as long having intercourse with another person outside of their relationship would not have any love or feelings involved. Just purely lust.
As for those people who are in monogamous relationships, no brainer of course it will...not only diminished love, but ERASED.
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The bottom line (no pun intended) on this issue is - THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG ANSWER! It would be "nice" if human relationships were ALWAYS defined and rules and roles clearly defined - but they aren't.
Just this week my partner and i met another couple in a long-term (15 year) relationship. They own a home together, they have jobs, family, etc...but don't have sex with each other anymore. They sleep in separate rooms and have separate sex partners. Yet, they are openly affectionate with each other and enjoy each other's company in all other ways. I mean, if you dind't know about their sex life, you'd think they were the picture perfect couple. THey were so "matter of fact" about their arrangements. It was just who they were as a couple.
So, who are we EVER to judge?
Yes, this is NOT a typical arrangement. More common is a "don't ask, don't tell" relationship where both men know the other is or may play on the side, but whenever you add another person (be it a trick or a "steady 3rd") - human emotion CAN change the dynamic.
Everyone has to decide which works for their particular relationships - and COMMUNICATE!
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both, monogamous relationships and open relationships can work, and at the same time both can fail, you need to be wired in an specific way to handle an open relationship, and the worst thing you can do is open your relationship when you're having problems, to open a relationship and make it work, first you need it to be strong and healthy, then you sit down and talk and decide if it is for you or not, those are my sincere thoughts.
I'm a monogamous person, I can't handle my partner having physical or emotional intimacy with someone else, would he at some point want to open the relationship, I would sit down talk to him and try to figure out if is it something he wants or needs if it would be something he absolutely needs I would try to end the relationship the most civilized way, and would probably thank him for being honest and not cheating on me. (amidst picking up the shards of my broken heart of course.)
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