Very Important Concerns All!!!

[Maxi]

Hey maybe a bit melodramatic title-wise but it does concern all lovelies in the gay/bi community!

How do you know if someone is gay. I have JUST come out to my brother, today infact he is the 2nd person after my best friend to tell, he was ab-fab with it, even quite pleased (don't know why lol) anyhoo he said, as im going to wales, i should find myself a nice girl while im on hols! I thought yh, why not, but then i came up with a teensy problem. HOW DO I KNOW IF THE GIRL I MEET IS GAY! I would be wa-hey to embarassed to waltz up all coll-avec-le-sunnies and say 'heya, your a nice looking girl, i think we could go well togethor, if your gay we should meet up sum time' NO THANKYOU........so even though my gay-dar is pretty well organised i would like a less risk free approach, PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!

also anyone with stories about how they met they're companion/bf/gf please tell tell as they are relevant and ABOVE ALL..........I LOVE CUTE STORIES!!!!!!!!!!!! so type type my lovelies

Adios amigos!
Mx

[fjp999]

hey Mx, congrats on the coming out. Fantastic news.

gay-dar is pretty important but even more important is knowing the local gay hangouts or seeing someone of your type with a huge Lesbo tee on... I understand it is also very popular to meet up online first.

My previous partner was featured in a vid by some crazy video artist. I fell in love with his image but he was out of country, story of my life. When he finally returned we had a first meet up AND I WASNT SO SURE ANYMORE... Second meetup was a museum visit, a long train ride, dinner at his place - all giving us a chance to relax and get to know one another... didnt leave his place for nearly a month worrying my roomies just a bit, LOL...

[Maxi]

fj - That's pretty cute, can't believe you saw him on a video!! Also, you wouldn't happen to know any webpages suitable for saying gay meeting places etc...

Thanx
Mx

[joseph]

if you wonted to now if they was gay if you said to them hello do you have a boyfrind. or if they had a boyfreind before. and and she miht say she dident becase she was gay. it is good that you brother liked it that you are gay.

[Maxi]

Joseph - you make me realise that sometimes planning ideas should just be left for people like you to sort out for people like me. :biggrin: Cheers

Mx

[marshlander]

First of all, this should keep you busy - http://gayyouthuk.net/
it's a link to a whole load of other links to glbt youth projects. Some are even specifically Welsh.

This one may be even more useful http://www.lgbtyouth.org/community/index...69&t=17682
It's a Welsh youth glbt discussion board with links to regional organisers.

Okay, the pasta's ready, gotta go, but good luck. Let me know if these are any good?

Cheers mile:

[Smurlos]

Hey maybe a bit melodramatic title-wise but it does concern all lovelies in the gay/bi community!

How do you know if someone is gay. I have JUST come out to my brother, today infact he is the 2nd person after my best friend to tell, he was ab-fab with it, even quite pleased (don't know why lol) anyhoo he said, as im going to wales, i should find myself a nice girl while im on hols! I thought yh, why not, but then i came up with a teensy problem. HOW DO I KNOW IF THE GIRL I MEET IS GAY! I would be wa-hey to embarassed to waltz up all coll-avec-le-sunnies and say 'heya, your a nice looking girl, i think we could go well togethor, if your gay we should meet up sum time' NO THANKYOU........so even though my gay-dar is pretty well organised i would like a less risk free approach, PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!

also anyone with stories about how they met they're companion/bf/gf please tell tell as they are relevant and ABOVE ALL..........I LOVE CUTE STORIES!!!!!!!!!!!! so type type my lovelies

Adios amigos!
Mx

Awwwww my experience with my sister finding out about me was exactly the same. I accidentally told her in a text message... that was meant for my boyfriend but arrived in her inbox... i.e. "hey mr ... blah ... love you x x x" which speaks volumes and ever since she's been nothing but supportive. My whole family have.

I met my boyfriend online funnilly enough. He messaged me on a website called ladslads and i replied. Then we spoke on msn for a few weeks and then he asked if I wanted to go for a drink. I have people on my msn from there that I still haven't met years down the line... but I just felt different about this one... and now I know why :biggrin: so after about a month, I met up with him and it may sound silly? but from when I first met him I just felt that he was the one...

I do however, understand what you're saying. I've been through that so much myself about 'how do you know if they're gay'. With men, it's probably a lot more difficult to tell because... well unless you look like you should be sporting a handbag on that rather limp wrist, most guys don't like to stick out like sore thumbs with regards to their sexuality if they are gay, I guess it's a 'macho' thing - you never know who's gonna take offense etc. Women on the other hand, tend to be a lot more laid back and relaxed... at least that's how it would appear. Women seem to be much more in touch with their feelings and their senses.

I guess it's not always possible to tell who is gay and who isn't, it just means you taking that extra risk to find out, if you get that feeling you know? However, bless Joseph... he seems to have gone and squished us in the carpet with his simple fly trap answer... although that said, they might not want to digress their sexual preference to a complete stranger... so they might simply say "i don't have a boyfriend at present" and if you ask if they've ever had a boyfriend before... that might get them asking why and thinking you're a tad weird

[Maxi]

Marsh - That was extremely helpful, especially the first one, as it has my region, Thankyou tres tres much! (also, unfair, i want pasta, all my love i felt for your from weblinks has been erased because of pasta, grrr)

Smurls - I guess siblings can surprise you, huh! And meeting your partner, that i majorly adorable!!! I just hope i have the same luck! Am a tad nervous about meeting online but hey, you never know! Also yh i guess your right gender wise, women are a tad less (:O how could you ask that!) however i think i may refrain from interrogating general citizens unless one is particularly mazing and particularly lesbiany!!!

Mx

[Shadow]

I think it also depends on how you go about meeting people ... a lot of people find that networking through an existing circle of friends works for them, as then the "are they, aren't they" gay thing has been resolved without their needing to bat an eyelid ... the flipside of that coin is that it's kinda irritating sometimes when you come out to somebody and they go ...

... OMG !! You're gay ... my friend X is also gay ... BLIND DATE !!

'coz that's like ... me wanting to bake a cake, lining up all the ingredients and clapping my hands and going SHAZZAM !! BAKE !! And expecting it to all sort itself out ... .

I agree with Smurlos that women (in my experience certainly) tend to be much more comfortable and generally confident with their sexual identity - however, again, the flipside is that because women are allowed (in social terms) a greater freedom of physical and emotional expression before people start looking at them and going "eh up", that can mean that somebody that runs up to you, scoops you up and gives you MAD cuddles is just being friendly, and there's no more to it than that ...

... but then that's the same with boys in some ways ...

:confused:.

That didn't really help much did it ... :frown:. Sowwy ...

I guess the best advice I can give is that being blunt doesn't always work, and sitting on the fence too long and watching doesn't always work either - since your gaydar is quite good as you say yourself, use that in combination with how they appear to you from their mannerisms (and how you feel towards them) as your guide, and odds are you won't be far wrong ...

.

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[Bob]

My gaydar is totally rubbish, lol OK I can tell some because they are really camp for the gay men and masculine for the lesbian women. But when they're neither of them I really don't have a clue, lol! A few people I know, not friends but people I have spoken with, have came out recently who I wouldn't expect in a million years to be that way.

So in my case, unless they say, 'Hi, my name's **** and i'm gay/bi' then I don't stand a chance. :biggrin:

Bob