I 've come to the realization that I will never be respected as a lesbian

[Wolfpack]

I don't think my sexuality will be taken seriously and that really bothers me , I don't think I can ever come as a lesbian I can come out to close friends and maybe family but I think I'll just past myself off as a straight woman that has a boyfriend

Will you be truly happy trying to pass as a straight woman ?
Think carefully about this , you do not want to have deep regrets later in life !

[Pix]

Do what you're comfortable with. But keep in mind that when you're hiding from straight people you're also hiding from potential relationships who assume you're straight with a boyfriend and therefore never show their interest in you.

And for what it's worth you'll probably care a lot less as you get older.

[CellarDweller]

I don't think my sexuality will be taken seriously and that really bothers me , I don't think I can ever come as a lesbian I can come out to close friends and maybe family but I think I'll just past myself off as a straight woman that has a boyfriend

With all due respect, I think that's not a good choice. Not being true to yourself will affect you. Of course, you need to do what is best for you, so in the end, whatever makes you comfortable, you should do.

As for dealing with it I've taken years of self-defense training and I've availed myself of other options.

Pix, thanks for saying this. I think that all gay people should take self-defense classes, or at the very least, always be extra-aware of your surroundings.

[justmoi]

I know lots of very beautiful feminine lesbians. My sisters a bit androgynous but her gf is very femme and girly. I think you'll find the more you get involved in the right side of the LGBT community the more you'll see there's respect and acceptance for aall shapes and sizes...and if you find an LGBT niche that's nott like that, find a new one, simples!

Lemme tell you something, all that reeally matters is if youu know who you are and if yure living your life as who you wana be. And besides, femmegirls are in high demand in the lesbian community!

[Melody]

Will you be truly happy trying to pass as a straight woman ?
Think carefully about this , you do not want to have deep regrets later in life !

Well I thinking more that I will be out to other lesbians but straight to guys that ask me out and say I have a boyfriend so they will leave me alone .
I feel like I'm being a coward but I'll never be respected I found out I'm lesbian a couple of months ago .

[Melody]

Do what you're comfortable with. But keep in mind that when you're hiding from straight people you're also hiding from potential relationships who assume you're straight with a boyfriend and therefore never show their interest in you.

And for what it's worth you'll probably care a lot less as you get older.

I don't want hide from potential relationships T_T

[Melody]

With all due respect, I think that's not a good choice. Not being true to yourself will affect you. Of course, you need to do what is best for you, so in the end, whatever makes you comfortable, you should do.

I want to be an out and proud lesbian , I really do but when you have men that don't believe your sexuality is real and think if they sleep with you they can turn you and gives them a right to rape you that's what scares me . I have things against me I'm femme , a woman and on top of that I'm a lesbian I'm gonna face a lot of hatred from men and be more likely to be attacked . Plus on top of that now I'm hearing things about lesbians who they say they like sleeping with men now how is anyone gonna believe me when that's happening and people start calling me a liar ? I've thought of even going butch but that's not me . I love make up I love looking cute I love getting my nails and hair done why can't people not believe that I'm a lesbian why must I get this crap for it . Not from just men but women too telling me I don't give a gay vibe what the hell does that mean ?

I know lots of very beautiful feminine lesbians. My sisters a bit androgynous but her gf is very femme and girly. I think you'll find the more you get involved in the right side of the LGBT community the more you'll see there's respect and acceptance for aall shapes and sizes...and if you find an LGBT niche that's nott like that, find a new one, simples!

Lemme tell you something, all that reeally matters is if youu know who you are and if yure living your life as who you wana be. And besides, femmegirls are in high demand in the lesbian community!

I didn't know that femmegirls were in high demand in the lesbian community I would have had a girlfriend by now if I was out

[James]

Staying safe is the number one priority, everything else is secondary, I believe you need friends who will back you, is there a lgbtq center in your city, gay males usually protect their cousins, I accept everyone as who they are, trans, bi, etc. But then again have been around for a "little" while. Protect yourself, become observant of your surroundings, always ask yourself to look for an escape route if need be. Please try and stay safe, Jim

[swalter]

Your self-image, and way you treat yourself will dictate how others treat you. When you carry yourself with cynicism and self-loathing, others will take that as a cue to treat you in the way you expect to be treated. Conversely, if you're confident, unapologetic, and self-assured, the way others treat you will reflect that. This is where the idea of a "self-fulfilling prophecy" comes from. It really is up to you.

[Cuddly]

I am sad to hear that you are having these problems Melody. A fabulous lesbian friend of mine once told me a story of how straight men went sex with her and all that... I think it's important to remember that making jokes about gays doesn't mean you're homophobic. Your mother and father might be the most accepting people in the world once you tell them how you feel, in spite of their silly talk.
In my experience it's impossible to predict how people react to the news. I'm openly gay and the only one who has ever been unaccepting was my best friend at the time I came out. Which ofc was sad, but being out and true to yourself is worth losing a friend (and maybe more friends).
But yeah... the lesbians just needing a good dicking thing is making my blood boil. How can anybody say such a thing, even as a joke? I guess it's easy to be such an asshole if you've never had to cross a threshold as hard as coming out.
I sincerely hope some of us can tell you something that helps Melody, because your position seriously sucks. And remember, even if your entire state is full of bigots, somebody online loves you very much and is trying desperately to send some love and warmth through his internetcable!