Cheating, is he?, what should I do?!

[Jake]

To the guys so quick to judge - go fuck yourselves. I'm a straight shooter and not into playing games, if something is up then I'll say it, I'd just received a message from my friend with the contents of this post and was not in a position to bring it up with my boyfriend straight away - I needed to seek advice from other guys who have been in the same situation... forgive me for using an advice forum for its intended purpose.

From what I read you're making reference to my husband Alex. First of, he doesn't need to go fuck himself, I have been there for him for 9 years, so he doesn't need to go fuck himself - that's my job to fuck him! And I enjoy it quite a lot, thank you very much. Second, go read yourself back and if you're enough intelligent to understand what you've written you'd understand that people react to what you have written, if there was more to add you should have added it in your first post and you wouldn't have had such of a reaction.

See now that you clarify things, you're less of a douche bag than what your first post showed. So take a chill pill and next time, just put the whole story, so you get better response. And don't ever talk to my husband that way dude.

[TwisttheLeaf]

I'm a possessive SOB which has been established in other threads, but the fact that he sent not only entertained the idea but sent a picture of his dick? Oh yeah, I'd be pissed.

Granted, it was really underhanded of you to trick him/set him up like that...therefore he has a right to his anger as well if you decide to confront him.

So I'd have to go with that you're both in the wrong here.

I agree with this. You may not have asked your friend to trick him, but you didn't tell him not to either.

You and your BF really need to sit down and discuss boundaries. I mean, seriously. As you can see, a lot of ppl on this forum wouldn't be bothered about what your BF did. But I would be. Gideon would be. It sounds like CellarDweller and Uneunsae would be.

That you -are- bothered by it? Means you need to talk to the guy and set some clear boundaries in your relationship about what's okay and what's not.

[50Plus]

My advice:

Ditch your boyfriend. He is a bastard.

Hook up with your friend who 'outed' your soon to be ex boyfriend. Your friend sounds like a real winner.

[Jake]

My advice:

Ditch your boyfriend. He is a bastard.

Hook up with your friend who 'outed' your soon to be ex boyfriend. Your friend sounds like a real winner.

hahahhaha Canadian sarcasm LOL

[50Plus]

hahahhaha Canadian sarcasm LOL

moi? pas possible!

[Jake]

moi? pas possible!

off course not LOL, surtout pas toi lol

[Humeinator2]

OOOH, I love seeing people talk in french
I really need to become fluent in french... being able to speak a little bit frustrates me
anyway, I thought You where serious at first, until Jake pointed it out
Also OP, the setting up boundaries thing is a grand Idea
Use IT
Don't be like me okay?

[Jake]

OOOH, I love seeing people talk in french
I really need to become fluent in french... being able to speak a little bit frustrates me

In what way French is useful for you? You live in the USA, learn Spanish

[rroepcke]

Jake, calm yourself with the macho posturing, empty threats and sarcasm. I highly doubt you'd jump a plane to come to Australia just to teach me a lesson. I can say what I'd damn well like to your husband. At the end of the day he could've asked questions to find clarification rather than just jump to conclusions, though I do agree with you - I definitely could've provided all the details first post - but I wasn't thinking too clearly, this is my first real relationship and I am still learning how to deal with all the feelings that come as a result.

I agree with this. You may not have asked your friend to trick him, but you didn't tell him not to either.

You and your BF really need to sit down and discuss boundaries. I mean, seriously. As you can see, a lot of ppl on this forum wouldn't be bothered about what your BF did. But I would be. Gideon would be. It sounds like CellarDweller and Uneunsae would be.

That you -are- bothered by it? Means you need to talk to the guy and set some clear boundaries in your relationship about what's okay and what's not.

I didn't know he was doing it, as I said my friend doesn't like my boyfriend and never has - no idea why, I have since told him to stay out of my life and business until I decide I want to talk to him again.

I brought up the issue with my boyfriend - we talked it over, boundaries etc. and he's deleted grindr and has said he serious. I'm trusting him.

[Jake]

Jake, calm yourself with the macho posturing, empty threats and sarcasm. I highly doubt you'd jump a plane to come to Australia just to teach me a lesson. I can say what I'd damn well like to your husband. At the end of the day he could've asked questions to find clarification rather than just jump to conclusions, though I do agree with you - I definitely could've provided all the details first post - but I wasn't thinking too clearly, this is my first real relationship and I am still learning how to deal with all the feelings that come as a result.

I didn't know he was doing it, as I said my friend doesn't like my boyfriend and never has - no idea why, I have since told him to stay out of my life and business until I decide I want to talk to him again.

I brought up the issue with my boyfriend - we talked it over, boundaries etc. and he's deleted grindr and has said he serious. I'm trusting him.

Well I'm in not nervous the slightest and that's quite funny you mention that I'd go all the way to Australia to teach you a lesson. I'm in Australia every year my dear buddy, my husband happened to be an Australian and we do go over every year to visit his mother so stop that chauvinistic bullshit, I never even said anything about teaching you a lesson. All we said is to read yourself back and that is that. My husband like others have responded according to your own text so deal with it.

In another tone, you did great, your friend isn't much of a friend and it's actually great that you acknowledge it and cut the bridges. I am in no way mad at you... but just understand that Alex like others replied to the text you wrote nothing else.

I don't know shit about GrindR, never downloaded it since I use my phone as it was intended to be A PHONE lol.

The mistake your boyfriend did was to let his pulsions get the best of him, we're only humans and boys above all, we're all packed with lot of hormones which is very difficult to control. Since this is your first relationship, I have just one word for you COMMUNICATION it's all there is. Ask you BF why did he ever downloaded GrindR, perhaps it's time for you two to sit and have a good talk because from what I gathered downloading that application is a sign that something isn't going right. You love him, he loves you (as he said) well get the WHY he did it.

And buddy I have 20 years of Shaolin Kung Fu, most martial art artist are not violent, and I'd be the first to turn around and walk away so you're totally wrong I am in no way macho. I know I can kill in less than 2 minutes and what will that brings me? You tell me!