My girlfriend is attracted to men... and me

[SmilingLeo]

Hello

I need some opinions on this:

My girlfriend and I are now together for almost one and a half years. I'm the more masculine, dominant type. My girlfriend is attracted to men... and me. I feel like every guy she knows is my competition. Her mother also points out every good looking guy to her and she knows we're together.

What are your thoughts on that?

[ChadCoxRox]

Sorry but just from ONLY what you posted...
It SUCKS to be you.
What kind of relationship is that? And what kind of respect is required for relations to be healthy?
I'm almost pissed!
Does mom do that on purpose? Does she know about your true feelings? Something is missing...surely.

[MikeW]

I wouldn't put up with what the mother is doing. As for your GF, I don't know what to say from what you've said. It says you're in an open relationship… so… does that exclude her sleeping with men? And if you're feeling you have to compete with them, does your GF know you feel that way? Would she care? I should hope so!

[Humeinator2]

Please, don't be angry if I sound ruse, I don't mean to be, and Don't hate me, but here goes
1) from what I read, You probably haven't talked directly to her about your feelings (Forgive me if I'm wrong), which is something you need to do
2) Tell her mom she needs to back off and show you some respect, but do so in a way that is less likey to make her detest you, I highly doubt that'd be a favorable thing to have happen
3) If you talk to her about this, and she doesn't care, ignore her, and If you talk to your girl, and SHE doesn't care, or doesn't seem to, you might need to do some serious thinking

[bilkiba]

I'm confused... My girlfriend and I are both bi and totally monogamous. We're both attracted to men and discuss which ones look good on occasion, same for other women... I mean, looks aren't the big thing, we're loyal to each other and that's not going to change.

So what I don't get is... your profile says you're in an open relationship... and even if it didn't, as long as your girl has no intention of leaving you, then what's the problem with her being attracted to men?

I will agree her mother doesn't sound too nice, to put it mildly, but as far as the rest, with this little information, I fail to see a problem, aside from your jealousy. Is there more to it? Is she giving you reason to think she'll leave you? We need more info if you want any good advice.

[TwisttheLeaf]

The mother is out of bounds.

That said.... does your girlfriend actually express -any interest- in screwing these men? Or is it your self consciousness that makes you feel she wants to, even tho she's with you?

It's okay to be the ONLY woman she's attracted to. It means you give her something she can't get from anyone else.

[East]

I am assuming she is bi and you are gay? Yes?

If so..this can often be a special challenge that has to be overcome and some people are not able to do so. I know people in both camps and understand both POVs so my advice would be to really ask yourself if this is something you can learn to live with and try to be as honest with yourself as possible....

As for the mother..she is just an asshole. A lot of them are. The sad truth is that so many mothers act like this whether their child is gay or straight or bi and some spend an eternity trying to sabotage and manipulate their child's relationships. A lot of people make excuses for these horrible women and allow them to play games with other people 'til the day they die. You will have to decide if you are someone who can handle that as well.....(I'm not...I have already crossed that bridge more than once)


I wish you luck

[Cuddly]

Is she giving you reason to think she'll leave you? We need more info if you want any good advice.

This. This is excellent.

With this little information, it's hard to tell if you're just being jealous or if you've got reasons to be concerned.
The mother pointing at every guy does make it sound as if she's desperate to "turn" her onto a straight path, which is downright evil, to you and to her. You're not the one who should have a chat with the mum, in my opinion it's your girlfriend who should. She should be quite clear to your mum, that she has no intention of breaking up with you in order to date any of those men.
Again, it could just be your jealous eyes seeing things that aren't really there... I am not sure which scenario I would prefer, for you. Jealously is incurrable, as far as I know, but it's possible to find a new girlfriend who has a nicer mother. My mother has been an angel to anyone we (as in siblings and I) have ever brought home. So I know they're out there!

[Borg69]

Bi people are no different than anyone else. We're ALL human, and we're ALL attracted to other people other than our Significant Others. Being gay, bi, straight, ... isn't a choice, but being monogamous IS a choice. If she says she's in a committed monogamous relationship with you, unless she's giving you some kind of obvious red flags, you should believe her.

Being Bi isn't some express way to the cheating line. Anyone CAN cheat and be swayed by someone else they're attracted to. My BF finds a lot of guys attractive that I don't find attractive... Am I worried? No. I'm not forcing him to be with me... he's here freely, of HIS own choice. My being some kind of possessive paranoid jealousy bitch certainly isn't going to make him find ME more attractive.

We have ground rules... You can look, but don't touch.