Anyone know where you can find guys who want a longterm relationship?

[RomanticTom]

Looking for a longterm relationship. Anyone knows where to find guys who are interested in that sort of thing? And I mean seriously interested, not "looking for sex" kinda guy. I don't have anything to do with the "scene". I am shy, as in awkward in groups, but much more open in 1to1. Experiences from Bristol, UK are most welcome.

[ExpatBrit77]

Hi Tom.
Really I am far from being an expert. But received wisdom appears to be that you should find some kind of activity that puts you in contact with gay guys, rather than the bars/internet dating scene. If you're into some kind of sport and there's a gay club for that sport, for example. Here im Brussels for example there's a gay rugby club and gay swimming club etc.
Also given your age, get some gay friends, even if they're platonic. that's for me really been the hardest thing, and I'm only now just about feeling as though I'm starting to manage it.

I don't know Bristol at all but a quick Google revealed the following:

http://lgbtbristol.org.uk/lgbtwp/wp-cont...tings2.pdf - an old link but I'm sure some of the activities will still exist.
http://www.outbristol.co.uk/community-gr...ial-groups

For what it's worth, I'm not really into the scene, I am shy although not as awkward as used to be. So you're not alone. Although I promise you that the shyness keeps better with age and with greater confidence, not just with gay guys but generally.

[ExpatBrit77]

Also this: http://www.meetup.com/Bristol-LGBTQ-Meetup/

[ExpatBrit77]

I realise I didn't' really answer your question about finding men wanting a LTR. I think the answer is that you can't influence what other people are like, a lot of guys will just be after sex. But plenty won't just be. But you're likely to find the decent guys by developing your outside activities.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

You will note most of the members here are single.

Most of us sufferer the same issue....

I think the short answer is that 'no one knows'.

[LJay]

I think you hit it, Bowyn.

Though, OP, at 22 it may take some shopping about to find the guy you will do well with. I can tell you that I made a major mistake in life by isolating myself by oberworking and not spending enough time with others. Getting to know others and socializing is a good thing. Enjoy yourself. The rest will most likely follow.

[Jake]

Relationship doesn't comes in a snap of fingers, first find a friend and/or boyfriend and work it out, and as Ljay said so well it's trial and errors... you cannot just go asking for a relationship right off the bat, you can be certain it's the very opposite you'll get.

You're 22, go out, go wild and you're certainly bound to find someone of your interest or that someone gets interested in you... It's a boomerang effect, you get you give, simple as that.

There's no magical place to find a relationship, you can meet someone throwing up in the back alley, you help him go home and the next day you meet him again in a different situation and fall for him. Guess how I met my baby Alex? He threw up on me! Yes he was drunk, but still I had to go home smelling digested Vodka, since I planned drinking I didn't drive that day... but hey why being the only guy to stink up a taxi, I had him tag along, bring him home, made sure he was okay and purposely kept his Jacket so I could come back the next day to give it back to him.

That was 9 years ago, I was not looking for a relationship, I was looking to get drunk and perhaps fuck a dude LOL. Alex is still with me, we're married, have children and all the shit. But I certainly was not looking for a relationship.

[MikeW]

I think Jake pretty much hit the nail on the head. If you read as many "how I met my partner" stories as I have on various forums, you'll quickly learn that it usually was *not* the result of a personals ad. There *are* exceptions but that's just it, they're more the exception than the rule. The "rule" is you meet someone and (sometimes instantly, more often mysteriously over time), develop some sort of connection. Sometimes it starts out as a hookup. Sometimes it starts as a chance encounter. Sometimes it is through friends or some shared activity or interest. You just *never know*.

I think the most important thing is to not think of one's self as "incomplete" without a partner. Somehow, one has to be "ready" for a relationship, and usually that doesn't happen until one has been around the block more than once. Think about what you find attractive in other guys. For sure the surface look of someone is important. But a "relationship" is getting to know someone and letting them get to know you. There has to be somebody *there* worth getting to know and, ultimately, loving and caring about.

[larafan25]

Church. I think.

[Bluelight]

Well, no. Not really...

But hey, they gotta be somewhere, right?