When/whether to out self to straight guy

[Virge]

@ ShiftyNJ ............ I didn't come out to Ray...... Ray was real nice and patient and led me out of my own closet. hahahahahhahaha! He was more than a year older than me and had done over two years of stripping in gay bars so HE was an expert compared to me...so all the time he was telling me about his experiences in gay bars and with gay people, he was letting me know it would be okay for me to tell him but I didn't see that at the time. finally when I came out and said it, he was reading a sports magazine and all he said was, "I know you must feel better getting that out in the open after all this time. I've been waiting for it."

Then we sat up the rest of the night...talking and most of the next day when we could... after that Ray was king of the world as far as I was concerned. I was running to him for silly advice and info more than any danged parade of sackfaces that ever came in gaypeak in a month. Our whole friendship changed overnight once I was out to him... He'd ask my what guys I thought were hot and talk to me about them... it was great...

Then December 27th 2006 on the beach at Gold coast he borrowed a surf board from a HOT Aussie I'd been staring at and whispering to him about. Ray came back over and said, "hey that guy's gay and asked your name. Do ya wanna meet him?"

Now you understand why I am not getting rid of Ray no matter what. Friends like that sorry fucker are hard to find. gay or straight.

I owe Ray everything I have and I have no way of repaying the fucker. hahahahahhahaha!

[ShiftyNJ]

@ ShiftyNJ ............ I didn't come out to Ray...... Ray was real nice and patient and led me out of my own closet. hahahahahhahaha! He was more than a year older than me and had done over two years of stripping in gay bars so HE was an expert compared to me...so all the time he was telling me about his experiences in gay bars and with gay people, he was letting me know it would be okay for me to tell him but I didn't see that at the time. finally when I came out and said it, he was reading a sports magazine and all he said was, "I know you must feel better getting that out in the open after all this time. I've been waiting for it."

Then we sat up the rest of the night...talking and most of the next day when we could... after that Ray was king of the world as far as I was concerned. I was running to him for silly advice and info more than any danged parade of sackfaces that ever came in gaypeak in a month. Our whole friendship changed overnight once I was out to him... He'd ask my what guys I thought were hot and talk to me about them... it was great...

Then December 27th 2006 on the beach at Gold coast he borrowed a surf board from a HOT Aussie I'd been staring at and whispering to him about. Ray came back over and said, "hey that guy's gay and asked your name. Do ya wanna meet him?"

Now you understand why I am not getting rid of Ray no matter what. Friends like that sorry fucker are hard to find. gay or straight.

I owe Ray everything I have and I have no way of repaying the fucker. hahahahahhahaha!

Awesome, thanks. Friendships like that are hard to come by. I have also had some great reaction/support from straight friends, some of whom were - like you and Ray - waiting for me to just own it.

[Virge]

@ ShiftyNJ
One of the BIG unintended benefits for both me and Ray of being good friends is that it makes a good environment for other straights to fit right in and get comfortable with me. That's a lot of the reason I've ended up with so many straight friends who are about as cool about gay people as he is.... and to be honest I'm not ever going to choose friends based on their sexuality... Good friends are too valuable to be choosy about. When we all get together we're just a bunch of guys.

[ShiftyNJ]

@ ShiftyNJ
One of the BIG unintended benefits for both me and Ray of being good friends is that it makes a good environment for other straights to fit right in and get comfortable with me. That's a lot of the reason I've ended up with so many straight friends who are about as cool about gay people as he is.... and to be honest I'm not ever going to choose friends based on their sexuality... Good friends are too valuable to be choosy about. When we all get together we're just a bunch of guys.

I have had similar experience with my BF's brother... when we first met he was still single and going out often with a big group, and I was adopted into that group with no question. My BF is a homebody/introvert but he was/is fine with me running with that crew. They are younger than me (as he is) and I am to my knowledge the only gay one but it was never an issue. Now since he is married and has kids, as they are all doing, the going-out has changed to backyard parties/bonfires etc., which is also fine, and my BF has come out of his shell a little and will hang with my other friends too if it's a situation he feels comfy with. We are often the only gay people wherever we go but nobody makes an issue of it, and if they did I think it would get shut down right quick because they got our backs.

[Virge]

@ ShiftyNJ
"We are often the only gay people wherever we go but nobody makes an issue of it, and if they did I think it would get shut down right quick because they got our backs."

YUP! Same here. Many times out on the town with the posse I'll be having a great time and only hear later someone popped an attitude about me that was handled before I was aware of it. One time when jay was out with us and sitting next to me a guy walked past and said something. Half the table, guys and girls -- cleared to take him outside. The rest kept me inside. Two times when someone dissed Jay I took care of it myself and it took everyone to pull me off the jerk. I come unglued fast about that whether it's someone dissing jay or anyone in our group. That's my biggest weakness and I hope I conquer it.

[StingRay]

First I heard about him owing me everything. Youre flatscreen does look better in my room anyways. Your bed didnt fit and the mattress looks awful on both sides. Yall dont do it anywhere but right in the middle?

[Maverick]

LOL, good one StingRay...

[ShiftyNJ]

If you saw any passes at you and not only on the first date if you want to call it that, then you can tell him about you. But there is no use of you telling him how you feel about him if he has no feelings for you. You may be barking at the wrong tree then.

As I said in the OP there is no attraction there (at least on my part) and I'm with someone else anyway. That's not what this is about.

[ShiftyNJ]

Okay, things got turned up a notch (sorta)... we spent a nice half a day together at the auto show last week. Topic of relationship status for either of us did not come up. Just got a Facebook friend request from him, which -- if I accept -- he's gonna figure it out if he takes the time to dig around.

I'm gonna accept it because a.) I have no reasonable excuse not to and b.) as y'all have said, I'm probably making an issue where there isn't one (we've all got talents, this is one of mine!). We have tickets already to see another concert in June, so this should make things interesting.

[ShiftyNJ]

LOL, good one StingRay...

I was surprised by a critter very much like your user pic the other night. We scared the crap out of each other LOL