fetish

[SaintTab]

When i've told a partner about a fetish they've reacted positively, but if you start to indulge it be careful not to do so too much as it can get a bit tired.

[Lexington]

Well.....I'm a freak. I like getting kicked in the nuts but not in the nude. It's gotta be fully clothed and maybe in public so people see me get hurt.

Do you like that as a prelude to sex? Or an adjunct to it? Meaning, when you get kicked in the crotch, do you then like to go have sex? Or is it a separate thing?

The only issue might be the "public" part, because people might think your guy is, well, kicking your in the crotch without your permission. But I guess if you preface it with you saying "Go ahead - kick me as hard as you can!" out loud, nobody would care.

Lex

[BaseballFan]

It's separate. I always get hard when I see nutshots in movies or youtube. I guess I like the pain and humiliation

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Clearly you are not in BDSM. IF you were you all would have had 'the talk' earlier, and already have a basic understanding that 'we have fetishes' (at the very least).

Being kicked in the nuts falls under BDSM. Perhaps not Safe and Sane since a kick to the nuts if not administered correctly can do serious permanent damage. R.A.C.K. (Risk-aware consensual kink ) SSC and RACK is explored here: http://www.keepingitkinky.net/basics/SSCvsRACK.php

And since you are into the physical and emotional aspects of humiliation, its clearly a leaning toward BDSM. Emotional because you want others to see you being knocked down a peg or two.

At your tender age you might actually get off on a lot of other things that people associate with the leather scene.

Yes I know, you immediately have images of dudes clad in leather in a smoke filled, red lit dungeon - however BDSM does not all take place that way.



(it can me more fun than it looks )

Seems to me there is more to this than a simple kick to the groin. There is humiliation, domination, pain, being watched, and other things going on which might actually be satisfied in other ways which your partner may be willing to do for/to you.

But, you all need to have an education about 'self', figuring out what exactly it is about this play/act that really does it for you, and then get a bit of understanding about the BDSM thing so you can approach your partner with more than 'I need you to kick me in nuts, please. Thank you.'

This site may be a good start: http://www.bdsm-education.com/

Terminology may be helpful for you: http://www.bdsm-education.com/terminology.html Being able to put a word to some of this may help you lessen the shock value.

Never know, if you study the subject a bit more you might stumble upon less risky, shocking play he and you can do and you can ease him into the activity you enjoy.

If you can present this from a more technical direction, without the sheer shock value of 'I want to be kicked in the nads', it will go over more easily.

When my first partner introduced me to BDSM he didn't step out of the bathroom dressed all in leather cracking a whip. He started off by simply calling me 'boy' when I had my mouth full. Gradually over time he introduced most stuff to our bedroom which eventually lead to the leather and whips and other interesting things.

Had he just thrown me into the deep end I most likely would have ran screaming. Humans are like frogs, real easy to boil if you do it correctly.

[Lexington]

Then feel free to bring it up whenever, once it seems the relationship is headed toward the physical. "I actually get turned on by getting kicked in the nuts while out and about. Not right before sex, mind you, but at random times. Is that something you might be able to do for me?" I'm guessing most guys wouldn't consider that a dealbreaker. Of course, the proper thing to do then is to ask if HE has any fetishes that YOU can help out with. (I might still have that Rosetta Stone - Swahili Edition lying around here somewhere if you end up needing it...)

Lex

[LJay]

That is a pretty well known thing, BbF. Just play safely. It would be bad to get hurt and ruin your fun elsewhere.

[MikeW]

When my first partner introduced me to BDSM he didn't step out of the bathroom dressed all in leather cracking a whip. He started off by simply calling me 'boy' when I had my mouth full.

Wow, that mental image of you sitting at the breakfast table being called "boy" with a mouth full of grits and biscuits is HOT!!!!

[Lexington]

To be honest, good biscuits and gravy gives me wood.

Lex

[LONDONER]

I posted this once before and inadvertantly upset some folk dancers but with no bad intention, I post it again.

It's probably apocryphal but the great British conductor Sir Thomas Beecham was supposed to have said: "One should try everything at least once in your life except necrophilia and folk dancing"

[TwisttheLeaf]

When Gideon began introducing D/s to me, he did so gradually. I was completely oblivious.

After a while, I started asking questions. "When you do this, it makes me feel like this. I'm not complaining, but I don't get why I'm feeling this way." Things like that.

He explained the best he could without using "trigger words" like "BDSM", fetish, etc. Then, as we explored further he introduced those words in to make it clear it's stuff we were already doing.... and he was just putting a name to it for me so I could do research and learn more.

In MY case? I'm far more blunt. I'm far more upfront. And I would hand that shit up right from the start, trigger words and all, and see where it goes. But that's just the way I am.