Adam, do you mind if I ask if you were born somewhere other than the US? What you say and how you say it indicates to me that you might come from an unaccepting culture.
Personally, I don't have a problem with the use of the word "normal" if you are using it to mean the norm. Let's face it, most people who marry or have a committed relationship choose to have children. Most, not all. So, in that sense it is normal.
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We just spent a week with a fairly well-behaved but very active 9-year-old. If there was any doubt that we were not meant to have kids, it would have been erased by the time we got back on the plane.
If you haven't, I suggest spending a concentrated amount of time with a child that you can't get away from. A week or more. If at the end of the day you are still as convinced as you are, then maybe do foster care. I know for me, I was like "OMG where is the off switch? I can't. get. away." And he is a smart, healthy kid. Behavioral or health issues? I can't even imagine.
I know every decision to have a child is a crap shoot. You could get a little angel-Einstein or someone who will end up being dependent on you for the rest of your life, thieving, abusive, or with mental or physical challenges that prevent them from ever being independent. I have a co-worker who is dealing with all of the above.
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if you have read my previous posts, I've told, that I have a niece, she is 11, and I can easily spend with her a week, or two, or all her summer holidays and I will not get tired
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I am not bothered by Adam's use of the word "normal". It's what made me wonder if he was not from the US or Canada and probably from a different culture. We in the west might be offended by the word, but it might be the only way he knew to express himself. Besides, if by normal he means "the norm", he is right. Most romantic relationship produce children.
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that's exactly what I say. I didn't say that everybody should have children. Somebody doesn't want it, somebody is not ready for it.... There may be many reasons. But I want children to make my life complete (that's what I meant saying 'normal', not to appear normal, but to feel that you live in harmony with the world and yourself)
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think no need to cling to the words...all words such as "normal", 'happy", "sad"...have own meanings to each person, so maybe it is better just try to support each other but not to have the lecture about meaning of the word....
