Is it fair to pay half of my boyfriends mortgage?

[Borg69]

Dear God...

So about once a month or so, the OP posts the same sad tale about being in an abusive co-dependent, toxic relationship...and the issues never change.

It must be worse than 'Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf' in this household.

Sometimes I think that we're all being trolled by someone who has these two horrible characters running around inside their brain and has to let them out every so often...but then I realize that there are real people who are locked in this same kind of horrible 'relationship'

To the OP.

No. You shouldn't have to pay for anything that you are not getting equity in. Other than that, you should pay for 50% of the operating expenses and food costs if you want to be in a balanced relationship. And do 50% of the household chores. In this case, costs appear to include a rental fee.

As we understand that you don't actually fuck one another any more, he is entitled to set the rent at market rates and you are entitled to stay or move out.

Zurdoknoc, looking back at your previous thread, the two of you no longer having sex and his unwillingness to assist you with the financial problem you were having then, and now this new problem of him wanting you to pay exactly half of the mortgage and some expenses, which seems more like a roommate situation then a couple in a relationship situation, it seems he may be sending you a message about where your relationship is at this point. Perhaps his actions are a quiet push for you to move on, trying to avoid actually coming out and saying it? Have you considered that possibility?

^^^^^

[Hardheaded1]

The math seems straightforward. There are two employed people living in a dwelling. The expenses divide by two.

[Darius]

The math seems straightforward. There are two employed people living in a dwelling. The expenses divide by two.

If it were just a tenant/landlord relationship, I might agree. If the market value were greater than half the mortgage, the landlord could actually charge more than half. How high are the property taxes? This is a condo, so I doubt either the mortgage or taxes could be that high.
But this is not that kind of relationship, so other factors need to be taken into consideration, like what both can afford.
I try to put myself in their place (and I hope to be in love one day) and I think I would just have a conversation with the person and together we would decide what was fair. It sounds like they settled on $500/month, but the owner decided now he wants more.
The household expenses should be divided evenly, I think.

There must be other couples here who have to share such things. I would be interested in hearing from them.

[Butterfingers]

The math seems straightforward. There are two employed people living in a dwelling. The expenses divide by two.

Years ago I was in that situation, my wife and I shared a home with another couple. We split the rent, it seemed fine. The Home belonged to the parents one of the other couple.
It moved quickly to we were renting a room, not sharing a home. We had access to the common areas, but they(the other couple) made the rules, we had no say. We moved soon.

Renting a room should not cost the same as renting half of the home, if one splits all of the costs then they should have an equal input as to how the home is ran.

So, if the OP pays half, will he have equal say in all matters? Will he split the mortgage and only be in charge of the room that he sleeps in?

[Rareboy]

I suspect that the OP has lost all interest in the topic again until the next time we hear about his 'partner's' meanness.

[Borg69]

I suspect that the OP has lost all interest in the topic again until the next time we hear about his 'partner's' meanness.

I suspect he's moved on to a forum that will tell him what he wants to hear.

[Bricg1970]

At the end of the day, if you pay half of the mortgage and you finished your relationship and walk away, what are you going to have?, there will be any document that entitle for something, will you recover your money? I believe you and everybody know the answer

[Butterfingers]

At the end of the day, if you pay half of the mortgage and you finished your relationship and walk away, what are you going to have?, there will be any document that entitle for something, will you recover your money? I believe you and everybody know the answer

If one rents what they recover for their money is a place to stay, my question is still, what are they renting? A room or half of the premises?
If all they get is a room with "privileges" in the common areas it is not smart to pay for half of the mortgage.

[Camfer]

I am not so sure why anyone would focus so much on the mortgage. There's insurance, property tax, maintenance, utilities, trash collection, perhaps a housekeeper and a gardener and a pool guy and HOA fees, etc. Then if you look at the equity side of that mortgage payment, some fraction is actually going to principal, and more of the payment is interest for about the first 15 years of a 30 year mortgage.

Paying half a mortgage is not paying half the expenses of having a home, not even close.

[Butterfingers]

I am not so sure why anyone would focus so much on the mortgage. There's insurance, property tax, maintenance, utilities, trash collection, perhaps a housekeeper and a gardener and a pool guy and HOA fees, etc. Then if you look at the equity side of that mortgage payment, some fraction is actually going to principal, and more of the payment is interest for about the first 15 years of a 30 year mortgage.

Paying half a mortgage is not paying half the expenses of having a home, not even close.

Most mortgage payments include insurance and property taxes, the property taxes usually pay for city services such as garbage collection.
The person whose name the mortgage is in can write off the interest on his/her taxes.
Other expenses are negotiated, I have never had to worry about a gardener, housekeeper or pool boy (the pool boy sounds interesting).
I have seen more than one instance of "let's split the mortgage, but, remember, it's my house"
Get the deal in writing and be specific.