Casual Hookup/Body shame issues

[Wade]

Sometimes this is such a bad head space, EVEN IF, they want to get physical, I still end up feeling like they're doing me a favor or something (mercy fuck).

...

Put your fragile self-worth to the side a bit. You can always come back to that later.

This made me laugh really hard. I feel this way whenever anyone strikes up a conversation with me in general. It's so irrational though, especially when it comes to the point of actual intimacy.

Thank you, Mike. As always your input is very insightful and tremendously helpful. I will try to not to overthink things too much and see what happens.
[MENTION=22470]Pyromancer[/MENTION]

That guy... what a piece of shit. I'm sorry you had to go through that. (I personally couldn't imagine being turned off by scarring, I don't understand that mindset...) Thank you for the advice.

[JimmyEcho]

i've been talking with this guy on okcupid. He's cute, but i'm not that interested in starting a relationship. Neither is he. We've basically agreed to hook up, which i would like. I'm horny, and tired of being a v.

Thing is i'm pretty sure he's pretty strict about being with thin dudes. My pics make me look fairly decent in that department, but when i take of my shirt, it's kind of a mess (i've lost almost 100 lbs in my life, but i've still got quite a bit of flab).

I don't think i've let anyone see me without a shirt on once i hit puberty. Should i be worried about this? I would very much like to have some sex, but i also would very much like to not be humiliated and end up hating myself more.

Should i tell him, or just not worry about it and see what happens?

you 26 and still a vergin???????
How is that possible?????

[JimmyEcho]

you 26 and still a vergin???????
How is that possible?????

OH WAIT, your 46
O.M.G.

[yousir]

you 26 and still a vergin???????
How is that possible?????

Maybe because anal sex aint all there is?

[trywait]

there aint nothing wrong with you wadez! you're definitely at the least the "linus" for each of us! u totally rock mate! mr. piano man

[JimmyEcho]

Maybe because anal sex aint all there is?

So blow jobs are not sex
That is soooo cool!!!!! because I'm going to blow everyone knowing it's not SEX!!!!!!
OH YEAH!!!!!!!!

[TwisttheLeaf]

I certainly did not represent myself. I just said I was a 6'2" muscular black man with a ten inch cock.... But that's who I feel like on the inside, so... That's not really lying, right?

I honestly don't think I did misrepresent anything. I put up a full body pic (shirt on) and in the body type section of the profile I put "a little extra." The other guy just kept asking me to put up more and more pics, I was starting to get nervous. .

Are you.... 6'2
Are you.... muscular
Are you.... black
Do you have a.... 10" cock

If all those are true ON THE OUTSIDE, then you didn't misrepresent yourself.

I ask this because you use the words "But that's who I feel like on the inside, so... That's not really lying, right?"

I can "feel like" I'm 6'4 some days, especially on days I spend hanging out with a friend of mine who is 5' yeah? But that doesn't mean I am. I'm 5'10 and if I said anything else, that would be a misrepresentation.

Sorry, but I got stuck on the "are you lying" part of this post. Being on dating apps is absolutely useless if you can't be honest about yourself, and I personally have a serious stick up my ass when it comes to honesty.

That aside? If he has an issue, there's more than enough who won't as long as you're honest from the start. Like Pyro (and myself, as I also have a substantial amount of scars including one on my face) sometimes you run across people who are just too superficial for their own damned good.

[Wade]

[MENTION=20738]TwisttheLeaf[/MENTION]


Thank you for taking the time to break that down for me, TwisttheLeaf.

I just... *sigh* I don't know. Golly, I just felt like if I believed it enough my date wouldn't notice that I am actually a 5'6 pudgy white man with a lackluster penis (at best) and in fact NOT a 6'2 muscular black man with a ten inch cock....

I repeat: NOT a 6'2 muscular black man with a ten inch cock.


Thank you for setting my head straight. I'll use better judgement next time.

[yousir]

Are you.... 6'2
Are you.... muscular
Are you.... black
Do you have a.... 10" cock

If all those are true ON THE OUTSIDE, then you didn't misrepresent yourself.

I ask this because you use the words "But that's who I feel like on the inside, so... That's not really lying, right?"

I can "feel like" I'm 6'4 some days, especially on days I spend hanging out with a friend of mine who is 5' yeah? But that doesn't mean I am. I'm 5'10 and if I said anything else, that would be a misrepresentation.

Sorry, but I got stuck on the "are you lying" part of this post. Being on dating apps is absolutely useless if you can't be honest about yourself, and I personally have a serious stick up my ass when it comes to honesty.

That aside? If he has an issue, there's more than enough who won't as long as you're honest from the start. Like Pyro (and myself, as I also have a substantial amount of scars including one on my face) sometimes you run across people who are just too superficial for their own damned good.

I figured he was joking about representing himself as that black dude.

You have a stick up your ass about honesty? Good. I thOught i was the only one. I almost ended up feeling like the weird one, as if i was the one with the problem for not understanding and not feeling comfortable with this revelation that apparently most people on grindr lie about their age.

Im the immature kid for wanting to question and understand this behaviour? not honest with yourself about something fundamental because you dont like yourself? How am i supposed to like you?

[TwisttheLeaf]

*Chuckles*
[MENTION=22576]yousir[/MENTION] .. ahh yeah. Gideon pointed out he might have been joking after I'd posted my response. If he was, it totally went over my head, which is completely my bad, yeah?

I agree about the lying tho. I don't see the point. The whole idea of apps like Grindr and OKCupid is to meet someone face to face. So... why lie when you're just going to eventually be outed as a liar, yeah?