Afraid to have sex: Virgin here!

[princealbertofb]

Well, Lil' Giraffe, what you need to do, apart from relax, is cast away assumptions, as Lexington said, that you're going to be judged harshly by someone who wants to get into your pants. How about concentrating on the warm and horny feelings you get from getting close to someone, learning to appreciate their skin, the contours of their bodies and all the rest of it. It is an experience.
I'd just say that if there is something embarrassing, and you can control it, it would probably be being clean (although some men might enjoy 'not squeaky clean'), because there is a difference between getting sweaty together and having to deal with someone who is in bad need of a shower, but then again that can generally be fixed, depending on the context.

Sex is messy, or can be, and it can also be a source of other anxieties if you have not prepared yourself for a few things: if it gets 'dirty' or 'messy', accept it as part of the experience, don't make a big fuss about it, even laugh about the situation if you have it in you; have condoms, have lube, have towels (paper or fabric) if you're providing the place where this is going to happen (have condoms anyway, just in case, which you might not even be using that first time - as Mike said, it might just be about pleasuring one another with a hand job or a blow job, or any other form of mutual pleasuring. I suppose it's always better to be too ready than not enough.

In that respect, you might do well to have explored how to put on a condom, and you might want to put the condom on him or have him put it on you (that can be fun, if you don't lose it)... but excitement and eagerness will generally take care of that wilting erection... be ready to hug, cuddle, squeeze, caress, maybe suck or lick if you're feeling adventurous... I bet you'll be impressed the first time you hold another man's penis, it's just thrilling in a special way.

The other thing you can also practise with, on your own, if you intend on trying anal at some point, is to work out a way of getting to know your body's reactions to something being inserted down there... You'll want to know how to relax (breathing generally does part of the job for you) but remember that if it's too painful, or too awkward, or makes you feel disgusted or disgusting, you don't have to go there. You will need plenty of lube, probably, though. So it's best to have planned on having some around. ( for this experimentation, any sex toy that's made for the purpose, or any unbreakable (and easily retrievable phallic object might do - it's common sense to sheath it and lube that too anyway).

In a nutshell:
* a clean body
* a healthy outlook
* having an open mind
* being ready to give as well as take
* have no expectations (it might well just not happen the way you'd expect that first or those first time-s)
* being ready for safer sex
* foreplay (depending on how horny and urgent it all feels) is a great way to make the experience enjoyable.
* afterplay and rest, if there is time to bask in the afterglow of orgasm...

Good luck, because you sound ready. mile:

[Camfer]

Well, look, guys don't have hymens. The concept of virginity originated when women were considered property and men were deeply concerned that their inheritance went to their own biological children. Do you really find that the entire concept serves you in any way? Or is it some archaic thing of no modern consequence?

Okay fine, you are sexually inexperienced. Everyone was at one point. Honestly it's no big deal. There isn't a panel of judges holding up score cards rating your first performance. It's going to be okay.

[Lexington]

As suggested above, it's your first time. And although porn and erotica loves the myth of the "expert virgin", most of us know we're not all that great our first time out. You'll probably be slow and hesitant and your leg might cramp up and whatever else. But most of us are aware of that, and we're cool with it. We're fine with the idea of a less-than-perfect sexual experience, because it's REAL, you know?

Lex

[Borg69]

my previous post was supposed to be anonymous, embarrasing... :redface: oh well...

thanks. this helped a bit. now i just have to put myself out there into the dating pool...

Sex is a lot like first learning to swim or drive a car. Casually watching, it looks relatively easy. Once you attempt it for yourself you realize it's a little more technical than you thought it was going to be. After you've done it several dozens of times it's all mostly natural and as easy you originally thought it was.

Don't expect to be an Olympic high diver or speed racer starting out.

[strider65]

speaking from my own experience...

I would say, don't do anything you are uncomfortable with. if it feels right... it will flow and feel right.

many gay men, myself included when I was younger, let myself be led around by my dick. I tricked, then the person leaves and you feel empty.

save it for someone you care about. or, alternatively, find a fuckbud you are also friends with and help each other out...

IMHO don't trick with someone who's going to get up and leave. sharing your body and your emotions is not a light thing. if I had it to do over again, I would have been a lot more thoughtful about it. it's funny how you can get horny and as soon as you cum, you get a bit more thoughtful.

I used to take weekends and go to the bath houses in Chicago from Ann Arbor. And head home alone. Men can be led along by their dicks... don't use your penis for a brain. It's a good way to get hurt if you meet a guy who there might be something more with...

that's easy for me to say but it came with a lot of experience and not a little amount of emotional pain.

[chibigiraffe]

wow. thanks a lot evryone!

[JackTX]

This is a bit embarrassing for me to talk about but, I am nervous about having sex for the first time. Even though I really really want to . I'm sure this is probably normal...

Anyways, I am very self-conscience about my body. I am ok with my body type and everything, but I don't know. I just can't shake the feelings that I might not be enough to satisfy someone sexually...

I've never been naked in front of anyone before. Hell, I can't even change clothing in front of someone else. I have a thin build and I'm like 5' 1" or so. If there is one part of my body that I am the most comfortable with it would be my penis (is it safe to say that word here?...) It is about average, I think; but I still can't help feeling anxious about revealing that part of my body to anyone...

I am also very unsure about how to go about doing it. I mean, I've seen porn before but I hear so many times that "it's not really like that in real life". I doubt that I'll need this advice so soon, but hopefully someday in the future...

i wouldn't worry about your body type. Lots of guys like thin/small and, yes, even average. Don't underestimate a good looking dick, either. That's important to a lot of people too.

And I think you'll be more satisfying than most people since you're considerate enough to worry before it even happens :p


In short: Know Your Assets (and work them ).