Confused about how he treats me

[Spinz]

I have read some great posts here, but I am generally going to abandon this thread. I think what was more important to me was to blow off steam. I did that but it seems to have turned into something more than I'm willing to lay out there. I see I've crossed my own boundaries and will leave it at that.

[Cuddly]

We play and dance like friends or brothers too, but that doesn't include hitting or shoving that could hurt us or our house. I suppose the issue with being built like a wrecking ball is that you wreck things when you start moving around.

How long have you been together and how were his previous relationships?

[Virge]

I bet you half the people who've already commented are thinking " ooooo Virge is going to tear up a new butt hole on this."

Hmmmm No... I'm sitting here boned up at what me and my guy call ante-foreplay. JEEEEEEZ... the dominant role struggles - the challenges.... okay okay... i finally figured it out but don't him know... He does it to push my alllllllllllll my rapist buttons.....

I'm going to play dumb as long as he thinks he thinks he's playing me. Dynamic tension in a relationship is hard core intense and large adult size fun.

[CellarDweller]

I'm not sure what I can add to this conversation, but I'll give it a shot.

As for the whole "gender roles" in a relationship, that depends on how you're raised. My parents (who just celebrated 50th wedding anniversary) raised us without that crap. I've watch my mom help my dad with home repair and construction, and watched my dad help mom with housework, laundry and gardening.

Alpha males......oh yes, they exist.

You say your partner is physically violent with you, but that you're an 'asshole', so I wonder if you are egging him on because it's a turn on, or if he's really truly dangerous, and you are rationalizing his behavior by taking blame for it, as victims often do.

If (in the end) this type of relationship is what works for you, and you are comfortable that your life is not in danger, then that's what really matters.

As for whether or not someone could take you down.......all I can say is if this relationship was you and I, with me in your place, I can tell you I wouldn't be able to take you down. But the first time you put your hands on me in anger would be the last time you put your hands on me that way, I can promise you that.

[Anocxu]

I bet you half the people who've already commented are thinking " ooooo Virge is going to tear up a new butt hole on this."
.

No more hole tearing please Virge...
Gosh...
If we left it up to you and Darius...
The earth would sink!

[MikeW]

I have read some great posts here, but I am generally going to abandon this thread. I think what was more important to me was to blow off steam. I did that but it seems to have turned into something more than I'm willing to lay out there. I see I've crossed my own boundaries and will leave it at that.

I think I understand your reticence to continue this thread.

I've been more or less living in forums of various sorts for the last 15 years.

As forums go, this is a fairly easy-going one. Some I've been in were more like an on-going bar brawl with occasional bouts of hilarity.

I'm deliberately off your original topic. Although I personally will not tolerate what I perceive as "abuse" in any form, what other people do with their lives really isn't any of my business unless they ask for and want my advice. You didn't. Not exactly. You just expressed that you're "confused" by your partner's behavior.

Well, yeah, I would be, too.

[Rareboy]

Wow, lots of input here.

I will start by saying that I've learned a few things from reading the posts.

Yes, we are big man-children, infantile and without any real structure or rule in how we treat each other. That's why we have so much fun together. We actual PLAY. And we play on many maturity levels. We're not one dimetional character. We bring our full selves to the table.

The remainder of this was a lot of caddy negativity, from what I'm guessing stems from you own past(s). So I won't bother to address it.

I think relationships stem from siblings, family and friends. I've fought with all of them throughout my life. Why would I expect to not be a brother, friend and family to this man? I wonder if you've considered that?

I'm 47 years old but with him I can act like we're five, we hold hands and skip, play and dance, daily. But we fight. I should have added that fullness in the first post. I guess I took the idea for granted that I was in it for positive reasons too. I think the dips sue isn't fighting. I honestly do not understand how men DON'T fight. Real life has a hierarchy. Alphas do exist. Not going to argue an obvious fact. It's everywhere. Don't believe me, ask your boss.

It is one 'dimensional', not dimetional

And it is 'catty', not caddy.

As Lex points out, in the end, you seem to be not looking for advice; rather, it seems, you are bragging about your neanderthal relationship.

All I can add to my original post is that the two of you appear to be perfectly suited for one another.