Are you into men much older than you, or much younger than you?

[JohnSomebody]

My long term relationships has always been with older guys except for one which was my late partner....and because of this...I tend to lean towards them or more than likely....for some reason ...they always wound up older than me although they do not look it. I have dated younger guys or guys my age...but that's all its been....just dating...nothing serious...

[Meebs]

I usally date older. Right now in seeing a guy who is 36. Age doesn't matter to me tho. But older guys are usally more mature than guys my age.

[AlfredM]

Age is a non-issue for me,though I'd prefer my age and older,but what counts more is emotional maturity,which is hard to find even among the so-called mature guys.

[reaper]

I guess younger. My boyfriend is 14 years my junior.

[bootsguy]

Although I prefer older guys because he can gather himself, act and think maturely in a relationship and knows to keep up with the relationship but regardless of their age as long as he know himself, he knows what he wants, he can act and think maturely and keep the relationship strong and lasting then I should go for that type of guy regardless of age.

[Radbot42]

Youngr guys are a huge turnoff. I tend to like guys my age or slightly older. 25-30ish

[Aquarius]

This topic is in my head every day.
I am certainly into men much younger than myself.

When I was about 12, I was into guys around 20. When I was 20, I was into guys around 20. When I was 25, I was into guys around 20. Today, at 39, I am into guys between ca. 20 and ca. 30. I hardly ever meet a guy my age that I'm attracted to, let alone older.

It's just as it is, like being into men and not into women, but it also has an incredible amount of reasons in my case. I don't want to get into too many details, but I have a specific rare condition that made my growing up delayed by years. In addition to that, and connected to that, I have a special psychological background that always made me feel like a child compared to guys my age, which lasted until this year, when I became concious about this issue and so it kinda got solved.

All personal issues that support my preference of young guys aside, I can't see anything wrong with it.
Like others said, age is just a number.

This also means, that a guy around 20 can have a lot more life experience than me. This is even very likely in my case as I "had no life" for many years.
The image of a guy around 40 with a long career to look back on, financial wealth, sexually experienced, doesn't match with me, as I got stuck in my mid 20s, and time went by much faster than I could take the next step to develop. Also, a guy around 20 recently thought I wasn't over 30, so I look way younger than I am.

The theory that it has to do with fathers, I don't know... I suffered under my tyrannic father and still do, but I still have never been into older guys... I rather want to be a "good daddy" to someone than have a daddy for myself. Of course, at first, "daddy" felt like kind of an insult, but if you not take it so serious you can in return call your partner "son", as long as you both are concious about the fact that those words are fun, and as long as you can seriously meet at eye level also.

Right, that's the theoretic part, maybe I'm talking bullshit as I am still unexperienced, but on a good way.

What makes this topic difficult is reality. All dating apps that I know of don't allow to filter guys in a way that you only see guys who have their age range set so that you fit into it. I have to browse through loads and loads of guys who have their age limit under my age. What a waste of time and energy, and then app dating seems so focussed on pure sex, I don't know if I really want that.

But then, when you meet someone in a club, pub or on social settings, I would never dare to approach a younger guy, knowing how disturbing it is for many to be approached by an older guy.

So I always wonder, in successful young/old constellations, is it usually the younger guy making the first step? If he really is into older guys, how can you be sure it's not out of fincancial hopes? How can you flirt without misunderstandings and without making the young guy feel unwell in case you don't know about his preferences?

As that's exactly what I want to avoid - making a young guy feel unwell if he isn't into older guys.

[Anocxu]

This topic is in my head every day.
I am certainly into men much younger than myself.

When I was about 12, I was into guys around 20. When I was 20, I was into guys around 20. When I was 25, I was into guys around 20. Today, at 39, I am into guys between ca. 20 and ca. 30. I hardly ever meet a guy my age that I'm attracted to, let alone older.

It's just as it is, like being into men and not into women, but it also has an incredible amount of reasons in my case. I don't want to get into too many details, but I have a specific rare condition that made my growing up delayed by years. In addition to that, and connected to that, I have a special psychological background that always made me feel like a child compared to guys my age, which lasted until this year, when I became concious about this issue and so it kinda got solved.

All personal issues that support my preference of young guys aside, I can't see anything wrong with it.
Like others said, age is just a number.

This also means, that a guy around 20 can have a lot more life experience than me. This is even very likely in my case as I "had no life" for many years.
The image of a guy around 40 with a long career to look back on, financial wealth, sexually experienced, doesn't match with me, as I got stuck in my mid 20s, and time went by much faster than I could take the next step to develop. Also, a guy around 20 recently thought I wasn't over 30, so I look way younger than I am.

The theory that it has to do with fathers, I don't know... I suffered under my tyrannic father and still do, but I still have never been into older guys... I rather want to be a "good daddy" to someone than have a daddy for myself. Of course, at first, "daddy" felt like kind of an insult, but if you not take it so serious you can in return call your partner "son", as long as you both are concious about the fact that those words are fun, and as long as you can seriously meet at eye level also.

Right, that's the theoretic part, maybe I'm talking bullshit as I am still unexperienced, but on a good way.

What makes this topic difficult is reality. All dating apps that I know of don't allow to filter guys in a way that you only see guys who have their age range set so that you fit into it. I have to browse through loads and loads of guys who have their age limit under my age. What a waste of time and energy, and then app dating seems so focussed on pure sex, I don't know if I really want that.

But then, when you meet someone in a club, pub or on social settings, I would never dare to approach a younger guy, knowing how disturbing it is for many to be approached by an older guy.

So I always wonder, in successful young/old constellations, is it usually the younger guy making the first step? If he really is into older guys, how can you be sure it's not out of fincancial hopes? How can you flirt without misunderstandings and without making the young guy feel unwell in case you don't know about his preferences?

As that's exactly what I want to avoid - making a young guy feel unwell if he isn't into older guys.

I think you are an extremely interesting guy..
(I've been following your posts)

Let me see if I can open your mind up to a few perspectives.
(No judgement at all I promise..
You just remind me of so many of my experiences )

What is your stance in life at this very moment?
(A) Are you looking for answers? or ..
(B) Are you more concerned about your questions? (I'll explain)

What appeals to you more?
© Presenting yourself to "The World"
Or
(D) "The world" presenting itself to you?

I asked these questions based on your posts..
Example..

*You are very deep in self discovery..
*You have so many brilliant questions ..
*At the same time you think you know what you want ..or what you need..

Would it be fair to say..
You are overloading yourself with so many concerns?
I said that because we all have a capacity. . And at the end of the day we can only tackle one issue at a time..

*How do you know what you need or what will work for you when you have experienced so little?
^^
(I did that for so many years..)

[Aquarius]

I think you are an extremely interesting guy..
Heh, thanks

[COLOR="Sienna"]What is your stance in life at this very moment?
(A) Are you looking for answers? or ..
(B) Are you more concerned about your questions? (I'll explain)[/COLOR]

I'm mostly looking for answers, but sometimes also have assumptions that I hope I can falsify.

[COLOR="Sienna"]What appeals to you more?
© Presenting yourself to "The World"
Or
(D) "The world" presenting itself to you?[/COLOR]

Good question. Both actually.

[COLOR="Sienna"]Would it be fair to say..
You are overloading yourself with so many concerns? [/COLOR]

Oh totally. I know I'm thinking way too much and try to solve every problem in my head before it occurs, because I can't take negative surprises easily.

*How do you know what you need or what will work for you when you have experienced so little?

I hope you don't mind this counter question: How do you know you're gay without having slept with a woman? (No offence, not saying you haven't, but you get the concept of my question)

I have a vivid fantasy, it can make me feel things very intensively without actually experiencing it. I know reality is most likely different, but after decades of looking at guys in public, having friends from 20 to 60, I'm quite sure I know what I want.

Hope that kinda answers your questions!

[Anocxu]

[MENTION=23142]Aquarius[/MENTION]. .
Thanks for your reply..

Please be advised my attraction to your post are based on the fact that we have / had the same questions.

The line of questioning was my way of compiling all your concerns just to understand your "flow".. or thought process.

I went through. . Or have seen so many of my close friends go through tough times in their lives with one common denominator. ..
~>Life constantly challenges the things we think we want and somehow narrows things down to a surprising list of things we definately need ..and even stranger.. a longer list of things that will not work for us.

I'll encourage you to continue to keep an open mind..
*FIRST.. let life present itself to you.
It's the best way to get your answers..
But there is a catch...
You must "Live"..
I'm encouraging you to go out and experience as much as possible for yourself. .
See where you stand.. see how you fit..

My question about knowing what you need without experiences went deeper than sexuality. . The aim was

Relationships. .
Love.. etc
All that good stuff..

Thanks for indulging. .
Remember. .
One issue at a time..