Should I give my boyfriend chance again ?

[Biki1992]

Thank you very much for all of your advice !!

As long as he live will not stop confusing me !! He is still sneaking out and talking to me. I don't understand what he really want from me. Last week he was telling me he can't keep two boyfriend and now he is still talking to me as his boyfriend.

Better stop thinking about him . concentrate on my career more. if anyone who is certified
network engineer. Please give me advice on network engineer certification.

[princealbertofb]

Biki, you need therapy, lol. I believe very few of us can understand your irrational love for this man you are not even attracted to. The only thing is, I think you're trying to tell yourself that you aren't good enough, or allowed to have this love, or this man. You may think you aren't worth it. You are trying to punish yourself by sticking to an impossile relationship. Not sure why. Is it a method for stalling? Is that boyfriend worth it, honestly? No one will respect you if you don't show some respect for yourself, you know?

Ok, so, do your parents know about your sexual orientation? I suspect they don't.

You say you are from Bangalore, surely this is a big enough city to find gay people who don't try to hide their identity? Trying to understand a bit more about your circumstances. I get that you don't find men of your own age interesting. In any case, if they are Indian like you, they are all busy getting married, as you said, and having families.

[Biki1992]

Yes I don't tell my sexual orientation to anyone . but my parents do know I spent all my time with this older man ( my boyfriend ).
Bangalore is one of big city in India There might be lot of gay people here but I never find anyone . please tell me what therapy I must go for. You know all I want is stay way from him and all man and be single, lively happily without any string of relationship. Isn't this possible ? If it could be possible how would I do....

I was not in feeling this kinda stuff till 2013. This madness starts from 2014.
Since time I know I was alone always never hangout and have fun with friends. Till now I don't have any friend. I never been so close any of my friend in school ,in college. I just went to class and hurry back to home. At home i spent all my time alone. I live with my brother here. My parents are at Manipur(3000km far from here). I spent more lonely since 2011.
In school or in college I had only one friend. I never feel comfortable group of friends. I do the same in my relationship also. Sticking to only one thing.

Since last two years my parents started abandoning , not even asking how I am a single. It was my boyfriend who was always there with me. He suddenly got change.

All this problem might be because life how I spent before

[princealbertofb]

I don't really think you need therapy, Biki, it was a joke, to some extent. Because your love of this man seems irrational when we hear how you describe that relationship. I think you know, deep down, where this is going. I think you are probably what we would call a 'shy' or 'reserved' person. Someone who tends to keep their emotions and interactions and thoughts to themselves. People like you can be a little exclusive, therefore... not comfortable in great crowds. But it's very brave of you to come onto GaySpeak to discuss your issues. The problem with how you lead your life (if we can call it a problem) is that you may feel lonely, and put too much attachment on one person only. My advice would definitely be to try and make a few more friends, if possible.
You live with your brother? Is he single, or is he married /in a relationship? How do you get on with him? Can you confide in him? Does he have a circle of friends that you could mingle with?

[Biki1992]

Yes I am very shy to be with other. But I can see change after I joint college. During childhood I could not even talk to anyone other than my family and neighbour. And I am stammer this make very hessitate to talk to other. Shyness gonna sincebi started chatting with people on online.
Habit of being alone still remains with me. My brother never talk to me and I never talk to him . he is single and working here. He will go to work and return he will not say any single word to me. He stay in his world and I stay in my world.

I was with my boyfriend for more than one year.he doesn't know all this about me . what he know about me is I am very naughty. And you are amazing !! You learnt things in single word.

Thank you very much for advice and joke makes feel better .
But I am mentally ill real . need therapy.This is the another reason my boyfriend worried and could not be happy with his boyfriend.

[TwisttheLeaf]

your so called "boy friend" sounds like a narcissistic jerk: It's al about what HE wants.

^^ Yep

You need to stop listening to someone who could give a shit less what's good for you, and wants only what HE wants without any regard for your own needs.

He's a user. It's time to stop listening to him, and move on.

[Biki1992]

Thank you very much for your Advice !! Twisttheleaf
I feel better now. I was worrying too much about him. This makes me afraid of move on.
Now I understood.

[Darius]

Biki, I didn't read all of this thread but do I understand this is an online only relationship you have with him?

[Biki1992]

Biki, I didn't read all of this thread but do I understand this is an online only relationship you have with him?

Yes I was online relationship !!

[MikeW]

... The man who i love he will be always after this Thailand guy. Thing is I can't be angry. All angriness fade away when I hear his voice even though he is not saying anything to make me feel good.
I don't understand why I am always ready do whatever he said.
Crazy !!!!!

Yep. Crazy is one word for it.

I hear you regarding finding someone in India, BTW. I sometimes forget it isn't so easy for people in other countries or cultures. But my basic premise remains. This isn't a good situation for you so the sooner you end it the better. Time to move on, bud.