i give up.....

[Anonymous]

i give up.....

i have resigned to the fact that i am meant to be alone forever. and also that i can't be in a relationship with another guy.

tried dating, but nobody is interested in me.

its looks like one must have good looks and charisma in order to be in a relationship.
but it's unfortunate that i'm born so ugly.

nobody cares about good habits and character anyway. they only go for looks. what's the use of me having them when others don't appreciate it?

i always dreamed of having a married life with my husband and have kids, but i guess that dream will never turn into reality.

it feels hurting when everyone around you have found their partner but you have not.

and even more hurting that you can't find your partner no matter how hard you tried.

why is it that some people find their partners easily but some do not?

i think i want to just force myself to being single forever.



sad soul

[Steve]

Stop trying so hard.

I moved from my home town (upstate Michigan) down to Lansing leaving no stone, bar, or lover unturned. Nothing. Then I picked up and moved zillions of miles to California. Yup, go west young man. And I did. Landed in LA, which wasn't the best idea for a young lad with cheek of... oh hell ...lily white. I very nearly came home in a body bag from that trip.

After all that trouble, after moving boxes and boxes, stacks of record albums (yes, I'm that old), sofas, chairs, plates & cups, I came home. I had no choice. I couldn't hold a job wrapped up in bandages and barely alive mentally. All that travel and I wound up right back where I started. I wasn't looking for anyone, I was just trying to recover from the severe injuries I sustained in LA.

While I was off looking for love in all the wrong places a guy had moved back home to live with his parents. His house was just a couple houses down the road from my parents home. He was the boy next door, and I fell in love. 31 years later he still keeps my bed warm at night and he still fills a hole (not that hole you perv's!) in my life that I didn't even know was there 'til I met him. (Ok, ok, he fills that other hole too. Happy now?)

Stop looking. Stop trying so hard. Start living your life, looking toward your future, thinking about the tasks directly in front of you. You'll find love smack in the middle of your life when you weren't even looking for it, where you didn't know it could even exist.

The other thing I'd tell you is to start loving living all by yourself. Be happy all alone. It's easier to allow someone else into your life, to love them, if you already love being your own person.

All is not lost. You're not dead yet.

xx

[IanSaysHi]

I'm going to say something that will sound quite harsh, but it's something I learnt myself.

Think about everything you've said. Read it back. Consider it from the point of a potential partner if he was reading it (I know you've not put it up as a dating ad but still, how you talk about yourself above is probably the general aura you're giving off all the time). There is something sexier and more appealing to a lot of guys than looks, and that's confidence.

If you talk like you have above, you sound defeatist. You need to build up your confidence and positivity. I had to do that early in my twenties and it took a little while but unless you take some risks life is pretty dull. Also, life isn't a rom-com (sadly), a guy isn't just going to fall in love with you super-quick and it's wedding bells and babies. Dating can be TOUGH.. I've been on enough dates recently that my confidence took a knock for a while but then I just thought 'they just weren't the right ones'. In the meantime I've carried on enjoying time with family and friends, living my life and surrounding myself with laughter. I'm hoping what Steve said above happens to me, as I feel dating isn't really me, whereas just bumping into the (potential) love of my life one day sounds more realistic

It's said so so often (but simply because it's true): you have to learn to love yourself to be loved.

Good luck in your search, it'll happen eventually

[Camfer]

There's nothing wrong with taking a break from the search for a partner. You just freed yourself up from a huge burden you've been carrying around.

So now, what are you going to do with your life? Make it something great. Focus on something other than the partner search and do it really well. At least then you can take pride in your accomplishments.

[VirgoMasquerade]

Well with that attitude your not gonna find someone. You need to learn to love yourself before you love someone else. Take some time to get to know yourself and brush up on some confident skills

[Chase]

Well I gave up too.
Men are jerks, I'm done with them. I'd date women, but you know, they don't excite me.
What's the point in having a relationship, anyway? Not being alone? That's what the Internet is for.
And oh, IanSayHi, there is such a thing as too much confidence. If there wasn't, then Donald Trump would be the sexiest man on Earth

[IanSaysHi]

Indeed, 'lol', but as with all things it's about finding the right balance. At the moment OP sounds like they are low in confidence at the moment. Besides, some scented candles, couple of bottles of Rioja and I'm sure old Donald would have me all puppy eyed*

*Disclaimer: last part may be an exaggeration

[LJay]

Indeed, 'lol', but as with all things it's about finding the right balance. At the moment OP sounds like they are low in confidence at the moment. Besides, some scented candles, couple of bottles of Rioja and I'm sure old Donald would have me all puppy eyed*

*Disclaimer: last part may be an exaggeration

Um....not.

[matty7]

im in the same boat so I have no lovely quotes about how everything is going to be great - I just bite the bullet every day and try to enjoy it...some days it works out, others not so much ......end of the day...your not going to die because you do not have a partner so just hope you get to meet someone someday but don't make it the be all about your life.......as for been born ugly...that's just venting, not everyone is brad pit but they still get partners and there is someone too who finds your whole package sexy - the crap part is finding that person who likes your for all your faults as well as qualities

[Steve]

[MENTION=23058]IanSaysHi[/MENTION] I hate like hell to admit this, but you have a point. With a lot of desperation and far too much tequila and its possible to drink nearly anyone pretty. A ball gag helps. It's the waking up the next morning that's the bitch.
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