11-26-2015, 01:54 AM
So I have met a guy on a dating site (POF) and we had talked previously but disappeared for a while, apparently he tried getting back with his ex which ultimately did not work out. So we started talking again and he’s a great guy, knew that from the start. We had a date over in the town he lives in and had sushi - nothing outstanding -- except for him. He’s very handsome, very smart, well mannered….I mean there’s not much to really pick at here. However, the problem is that I can’t stop thinking about him, I guess it is some kind of crush or something. I have had a crush before but it was in one of those situations where I couldn't do anything, so this is different. He has also posted on GS before, but I think it is better not to give that away.
The problem is that I can't stop focusing on myself and not screwing up, I keep thinking about the flaws I have and how I might say or do something that might make him think twice about me. All of the dating I have done usually goes to pot very quickly, usually right after the first date. So I am always doubting myself, questioning myself, thinking when is this guy going to end up crushing me and stop talking to me. I have had too many bad experiences with guys and always seems something goes wrong and its always something ridiculous, or simply unknown. The minute I feel I made a mistake or mis-spoke I get upset thinking - that did it!
I think this person is very special as I said very handsome, fit, smart, well mannered. I think he does seek out a long term relationship which is ultimately what I want, but I am impatient like I want it to be official now and him in my arms. I know better and know it doesn’t work like that. So far we have dated twice, recently invited him over for dinner and sort of went all out to impress him. The 2nd date went well.
So the question I have is it me that is just falling quickly for this guy or is it me just trying to latch on to the first thing…and I’m not saying that as in I’m settling, I think he is the real deal and from what I know of him certainly someone I could feel comfortable. Is it is charisma? There is something about him and seems that others have gone head over heels for this guy too.
To put some perspective the last person I had a relationship with was a total user, long story short he lost his job, became a bum, used his friends, family and used me. Other guys I might have dated, or had a fling with and at time had to find out the hard way that they didn't see me as relationship material. This is the first guy in a long time to come along that doesn't just want to fool around. He has a bright future ahead of him and if there's any chance I hope it could be me.
I have limited experience with dating guys or being in a relationship or even living with someone outside my family. Those are big things to consider. Since I don't have much of a track record or history. I mean how much of a chance do I really have at creating a lasting relationship with this guy. I'm almost 30 and he's a few years younger than me and is finishing up college. I have a decent job at a college in IT...as a matter of fact that's where we have a lot in common, we're both in similar fields.
Ugh...I get myself down and sometimes I feel that if things don't work out I might just give up trying anything and just go asexual.... Seems that in the end you end up heartbroken or find that you're inadequate for someone in some way.
Anyway that's a start.
The problem is that I can't stop focusing on myself and not screwing up, I keep thinking about the flaws I have and how I might say or do something that might make him think twice about me. All of the dating I have done usually goes to pot very quickly, usually right after the first date. So I am always doubting myself, questioning myself, thinking when is this guy going to end up crushing me and stop talking to me. I have had too many bad experiences with guys and always seems something goes wrong and its always something ridiculous, or simply unknown. The minute I feel I made a mistake or mis-spoke I get upset thinking - that did it!
I think this person is very special as I said very handsome, fit, smart, well mannered. I think he does seek out a long term relationship which is ultimately what I want, but I am impatient like I want it to be official now and him in my arms. I know better and know it doesn’t work like that. So far we have dated twice, recently invited him over for dinner and sort of went all out to impress him. The 2nd date went well.
So the question I have is it me that is just falling quickly for this guy or is it me just trying to latch on to the first thing…and I’m not saying that as in I’m settling, I think he is the real deal and from what I know of him certainly someone I could feel comfortable. Is it is charisma? There is something about him and seems that others have gone head over heels for this guy too.
To put some perspective the last person I had a relationship with was a total user, long story short he lost his job, became a bum, used his friends, family and used me. Other guys I might have dated, or had a fling with and at time had to find out the hard way that they didn't see me as relationship material. This is the first guy in a long time to come along that doesn't just want to fool around. He has a bright future ahead of him and if there's any chance I hope it could be me.
I have limited experience with dating guys or being in a relationship or even living with someone outside my family. Those are big things to consider. Since I don't have much of a track record or history. I mean how much of a chance do I really have at creating a lasting relationship with this guy. I'm almost 30 and he's a few years younger than me and is finishing up college. I have a decent job at a college in IT...as a matter of fact that's where we have a lot in common, we're both in similar fields.
Ugh...I get myself down and sometimes I feel that if things don't work out I might just give up trying anything and just go asexual.... Seems that in the end you end up heartbroken or find that you're inadequate for someone in some way.
Anyway that's a start.
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