In Closet at 33 Closet Gay Nyc

[Anocxu]

Maybe he just discovered that he wants to flee from his family because he doesn't want to buy birthday presents for ungrateful grandchildren.

^^^
4 cups of coffee later..

[meridannight]

Now a question for you..
What about .. (example ) A 50 year old married father with 4 children that says.. "I just discovered I am Gay"

Is he a liar?

Could he have been ( truthfully ) unaware of his true sexuality ..?

What do you think ?

i'd be inclined to think that, yes, it was in the degree of self-awareness and also exposure, or some other external change, in such a case as you posited. what i mean by exposure is the guy having been exposed to certain strong enough stimuli/circumstances/people/etc to trigger such an awareness.

human psychology is what's complicated. for various reasons, conscious or unconscious, a person can deny and suppress certain aspects of self. it's a common occurrence. people can also self-sabotage themselves to a surprisingly high degree. a lot would depend on the type of environment and people they are exposed to.

if a man discovers at 50 that he is gay, i would expect there have been a concomitant change in his environment, or in the people he'd been exposed to, or some trauma/personal experience that made him more disposed towards introspection to accompany such a realization. or, alternatively, it could just as well be that he has, indeed, subconsciously denied his attraction to other men, and over the years his frustration will have accumulated, his dissatisfaction with life become more and more obvious, until he will have reached a point where he can no longer continue living the way he did, without acknowledging the truth.

i don't believe a man's sexuality can change, although it is clear that his sexual behavior does not have to agree with his sexuality.

do you think sexuality can change?

[Anocxu]

i'd be inclined to think that, yes, it was in the degree of self-awareness and also exposure, or some other external change, in such a case as you posited. what i mean by exposure is the guy having been exposed to certain strong enough stimuli/circumstances/people/etc to trigger such an awareness.

human psychology is what's complicated. for various reasons, conscious or unconscious, a person can deny and suppress certain aspects of self. it's a common occurrence. people can also self-sabotage themselves to a surprisingly high degree. a lot would depend on the type of environment and people they are exposed to.

if a man discovers at 50 that he is gay, i would expect there have been a concomitant change in his environment, or in the people he'd been exposed to, or some trauma/personal experience that made him more disposed towards introspection to accompany such a realization. or, alternatively, it could just as well be that he has, indeed, subconsciously denied his attraction to other men, and over the years his frustration will have accumulated, his dissatisfaction with life become more and more obvious, until he will have reached a point where he can no longer continue living the way he did, without acknowledging the truth.

i don't believe a man's sexuality can change, although it is clear that his sexual behavior does not have to agree with his sexuality.

^^^^
What you wrote here is key to the question below.

do you think sexuality can change?

I believe (now more than ever) that the baseline sexuality in a human being does not change.
Exposure or stimuli is what will provoke , unveil , "activate" or supress variations in sexual behavior until true self awareness (including sexuality ) surfaces.

Now ..
If scientists / microbiologists were to examine random people, peeking in at their chromosomes ... I'm sure the results would be interesting.

That is..
The current status of their sexuality VS what they truly are.

Great convo ..
Much appreciated.

[Tyrion]

not trying to argue with you, maybe for some people it is like that.

and yet, for me, sexuality was the simplest thing in the world. i just knew. never even had to think about it. it was as clear and obvious, and solid to me as the ground beneath my feet. so it's not true that sexuality is complicated.

i think, what makes it complicated for some, is all the bullshit from the society, parental conditioning/influence, and the person's own psychological makeup that makes such a simple thing -- sexuality -- complicated. if people own up to themselves about who they are, are happy with themselves, and sufficiently self-aware, there is absolutely nothing complicated about sexuality at all.

For me, I would have to agree. Although I was in the closet for about 30 years (31 years old now), sexuality was never a very complicated matter. I can that I always knew I was gay. I tried denying it and it took me far too long to come to terms with it.. but I always knew as far back as I can remember. That's not to say my life experience is the same as everyone elses. It isn't. But for me knowing what my sexuality was, was pretty simple. The societal issues were the problem.

[Mike33nyc]

It's so hard. Any advice?

[Insertnamehere]

Finding random sex? I thought that was the easiest bit when using apps or going to bars....maybe I'm wrong, what do I know anyway?


What have you tried so far?

[Emiliano]

Finding random sex? I thought that was the easiet bit when using apps or going to bars....maybe I'm wrong, what do I know anyway?

Yeah, exactly what I was thinking...

If you lived in dakota or like alabama I could understand that you're having a hard time finding a hook up. But if you're in jersey then take the train to the city, find a bar in the village or hells kitchen, have a couple of drinks, and make some eye contact. Its like a fucking meat market.

[Insertnamehere]

Yeah, exactly what I was thinking...

If you lived in dakota or like alabama I could understand that you're having a hard time finding a hook up. But if you're in jersey then take the train to the city, find a bar in the village or hells kitchen, have a couple of drinks, and make some eye contact. Its like a fucking meat market.

I'm guessing he's shy?

[Emiliano]

I'm guessing he's shy?

Thats why I said get some drinks.

[Insertnamehere]

Thats why I said get some drinks.

Casual sex in exchange for his liver. Sounds fair.