forever single

[shyl4l]

I like what mike says. Its constructive!! On the whole but perhaps an insight into the ailen comparison or at least as i see it . I had a brake down in my 20s through clinical depression which is why i can relate to feeling like an ailen . I could be sat in a room with friends feeling ok and then boom an imediate swich and although you in a room with 5/6 people you have never felt so alone, out of place, uncomfortable & that you have absolutly nothing in common with who you are with in your life and these are ment to be your friends. You know its you that is the problem and not them. you just want to escape. Run away & hide (or worse) and feeling these makes you feel even more of a freak. So why use the analogy feel like an alien? Probably same reason alienated is used. As For myself i would wright dark poetry that ended with I AM A MARTIAN. I feel like a freak admiting to, recalling & relating my experience's to everybody they are highly personal. but if by sharing them it helps someone feel less like an ailen and less alone. Pluss others to prehaps understand better. Then i have to try to help.

[supasyd]

hi thanks everyone for helping me. I am not celebrating my negativity I am trying to open up. of course I want to be loved. Everybody does, although my previous experiences with love have brought me a lot of pain. I know I'm a very negative person but that's not something I can change overnight.

[hank]

I know I am but I don't know what else I can do.

Perhaps it's not you, perhaps the guys you have tried to date are dirt bags. You said they use you for a quicky. I don't want to say anything negative to you, but maybe next time you meet a fellow don't have sex with him very soon. If he's interested in you he'll stick around if he wants a Fuck he'll find someone else. He didn't reject you because you are loveable or ugly he rejected you because you aren't easy.

Why not take some time to get to know you, learn to be content with being single. Somebody could come along and see a young handsome fellow who is self relent and just need to be in your life.

You may be looking for a missing piece that isn't really missing. I'd say focus on you.

[hank]

hi thanks everyone for helping me. I am not celebrating my negativity I am trying to open up. of course I want to be loved. Everybody does, although my previous experiences with love have brought me a lot of pain. I know I'm a very negative person but that's not something I can change overnight.

Love comes in many shapes and forms. I bet you have friends that live you, perhaps family.

I don't think you are negative, I think you are simply hard on yourself. It's part of being human. Occasionally it leads us into despair. But you seem to have an open heart though a bit jaded. Find those qualities that make you happy in yourself. Being young they are sometimes hard to see, but they are there.

[kindy64]

hi thanks everyone for helping me. I am not celebrating my negativity I am trying to open up. of course I want to be loved. Everybody does, although my previous experiences with love have brought me a lot of pain. I know I'm a very negative person but that's not something I can change overnight.

Sorry if anything I said was to harsh. I hate seeing cute guys be down on themselves.

The alien feeling you describe is not at all uncommon. Count me as a fellow alien. I don't know why people chatter away about unimportant things all day on the phone, and in person. Ever since Jr High I would just sit there and listen and think, why in the hell are they worried about such things. Made me a good listener, and gained me many an acquaintance but I didn't consider anyone who dumped their problems on me unwanted to be friends.

My boyfriend and I have had a rocky relationship. The moment he walked into my apartment I knew I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. I knew I was seeing a kindred spirit, and a good and giving soul. Though my life has been comfortable, including my 21 year marriage to a sweet, loving woman (who I finally just couldn't see myself living with forever,) it has always felt incomplete.

So, the next time you are thinking, I'll always be single, I'll never find the "one," remember my story. 51 years old and I'm in love with a man who I wasn't even looking for at the time. Keep your life story in perspective, you are barely into the dating scene, barely experienced with everything there is in life. I think that's what rubbed me wrong about this thread, your finality. You have your whole life to find love. Just because you are in a tough spot now with it, doesn't mean you wont find someone next week, next month, next year who will fulfill you.

In the mean time, don't give up on yourself, you are cute, quirky and have value beyond being a quickie. I think it is both adorable, and heartbreaking that you fall so deeply for someone so quickly. Wish I had met someone like you when I was at university. You just have to find the right person who values you for who you are, not what you can do for them. If certain actions on your part, or others are causing you distress, stop doing them. Stop letting things happen to you, and take control. You have the power to say no to people, and you need to have control over your emotions when pursuing someone. Find a purpose in your life beyond finding someone to love you. That shouldn't define who you are.

Luv ya boo,
Keith

[supasyd]

Thanks everyone. I thought I was getting better but I had a major suicidal episode Sunday morning I really don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I have counselling tomorrow so hopefully that will help. I feel worthless all the time even though I know nobody is worthless, I just feel not good enough for anyone. torturing myself. hearing everyone share their stories and wisdom really helps i try to take it on board.

[ceez]

I was thinking about you today when this song came on, it helps me out sometimes when I'm down