forever single

[Emiliano]

I just don't behave in acceptable ways. I don't fit in with other people. nobody can deal with that. I think I'm an alien

In what ways do you behave differently I mean. What are some examples, or what is a tendency you have in a certain situation?

[supasyd]

OMG. Change your thoughts. Might sound like I'm out there but we often feel like our thoughts and feelings are just what they are...but they are NOT. You have to change your thought process...how you think and stop the thought train from derailing and ending up with thoughts like these because despite your negative experiences and that guy "that doesn't want you" don't matter....

I mean this with the utmost respect when I say this but...

Your OP is bullshit and you need to know that!

If you are tired of feeling bad, stop think about your thought patterns...probably angry that you're single...so am I. I had terrible anxiety and the reason why really was me internalizing every problem that came my way and just filled me with dread...thinking I was too stupid to do my job, I'm going to get fired, get laid off, all kinds of crap you know where it got me?



Meat wagon...

I started having panic attacks...anxiety attacks. I would just start crying profusely without any real cause, for hours! You're driving yourself bat shit crazy over this prick guy...does he have money? Killer weed? Even if he wanted you, you're likely to come off cloud 9 at some point and see that Mr. Perfect is closer to Mr. Fuckface after some time.

The fact of the matter is that I can post about how you're a great person and that you need to CHANGE your attitude. Trust me, all you need is to realize that you are a wonderful person and a prize for someone and have got to realize that getting there may be a lifetime. It's not easy, no one planned to be gay...I didn't. Took me a long time to really come to terms with it, even after I came out. You have got to start loving yourself and realize people around you...me, that guy you're crazy about are all no where near perfect, some people are just ice cold...It sucks and it hurts.

So quit beating yourself up for no reason. He's not worth it. We can all tell you that until we're blue in the face, but you have got to listen and change your attitude about yourself and your outlook. Trust me if there's anything that someone would be picking up on you is the negative energy, people can tell...I don't know how that Jedi shit works but people can sense it off of people...I can, can't explain it...

My other suggestion is you may consider a counselor or a therapist. I know it sounds embarrassing, it kind of was for me at first but they can work wonders but you have to WANT it to help. Also medication should be a LAST resort and also be seen as a tool to get you on your feet and get off that crap, don't want that shit fucking up your brain, liver and other organs.

That's all I have to say, if you want to chat hit me up sometime, send me a PM. I know where you're at, been there, done that, and I hate seeing someone beat their self up over something that is like fools gold.

That's a good analogy... Crushes are like fools gold, because you see it as being gold when it really isn't worth anything. You have to stay objective about people, because most of them, suck ass. They can seem like they're the whole package and could be, for you or someone else, they can be wealthy, intelligent, have their shit together, have all sorts of nice qualities, but doesn't mean they're too good for you or that you have to move mountains to try to please them or impress them. Be yourself and if it doesn't suit them then fuck em. I know it sounds black and white but realize, these guys, no matter what they might seem like they are just as screwed up as the next one, all have some insecurity, something they lack...emotionally regressed, can't cook, can't hold a job...drug problems they're hiding from you, all kind of shit comes out of the woodwork when you split the log open. Same thing happened with a friend of mine, dated some young guy and turns out he does meth...and also crazy as shit...but hey he thought he was hot shit and the sweetest thing ever...WRONG.

Ok that's enough, but my offer stand, feel free to reach out to me anytime. Take care of yourself.

its not all about him. I felt like this before that but I think its just hammered it home. I've started counselling but it feels there is way too much damage to undo. I'm just so negative and I don't even know I'm doing it so I don't feel like a wonderful person and I know nobody will want me when im negative all the time

[shyl4l]

Not typical?: im not sure id know typical if ran up and hit me with a 10lb peice of normality. I'm 42 and just coming out my head is in so many pieces going from I'm finaly doing this its about time to what the f### is happening . Being happy and i mean truly happy ( i know this because i dont think i have felt truly happy from with in ever before) to totally freeking out and anxiety attacks. I managed to do such a compleat mind f### on myself as a kid that its only in the last few weeks i have managed to get to the point that i could in some small part accept who (:not quite sure i know how i am yet) or atleast what i am . I screwed myself up that much that i convinced myself that i didnt need love or deserve it. I was wrong i want love i want to be held in somones armes and feel love for them and loved by them. I've spent years living with depression self enduced by not leting go of my hostility toward myself. I've never kissed a guy with love in my hart ( not that I've even kissed many guys) I've finally allowed myself to hope for all these things yet they still all seem unattainable but i gota hope and try. If i dont then all those years are doubly wasted. Your young so you have plenty of time your cute so youll not have a problem atracting them when you find the right guy and normality is just a concept promoted by assholes who are too dull to understand intresting, individual & free thinking. Don't let the f#####$ get you down

[InbetweenDreams]

I suspect that he feels similar to how I would feel. I felt like I had nothing in common with other people, well yeah there's quite a lot of stuff I do that other people don't... I am an amateur radio operator, I have several radios and if I get on at the right time I could actually talk to people in the UK if the conditions are right... I do computer stuff, I do some programming, database stuff, all shit that people don't have a clue about and I feel isolated and alone because no one gets any of it and since I don't fall into the pop culture crap go see movies, play games like every other so-called computer geek out there it is difficult for me to strike common grounds....

So you know what I embrace it. People don't get it, but they think I'm super smart which isn't really true...I will say that I am smart because I have been able to achieve things I didn't think I would be able to do...and I've been able to impress my boss who has all kinds of plaques on the wall in his office so must account for something...I don't peg him as someone that pays people compliments just because he feel nice...he's a quiet person.

Anyway [MENTION=21120]supasyd[/MENTION] we're all different...I wish I could make you understand but I felt like this a lot...I don't have many friends and most of mind I don't get to hang or talk to for weeks...that closeness I want just isn't there. Friends come and go, we're truly blessed as humans to have people stick it out with is for a lifetime.

[InbetweenDreams]

its not all about him. I felt like this before that but I think its just hammered it home. I've started counselling but it feels there is way too much damage to undo. I'm just so negative and I don't even know I'm doing it so I don't feel like a wonderful person and I know nobody will want me when im negative all the time

Well there you go. You know you're negative, so think about where does it start, where do your thoughts start going south. You need to stop when you start thinking negatively and create a distraction...that distraction can be anything. Can be anything from a hobby to wanking off... Do you have a lot of down time like when you're off work/schoo/etc?

Idle mind is a devils workshop...

[Camfer]

Being 22, gay, dramatic, and living in a small town is not easy. Some of this you can change.

Let us know how you want to change, and maybe people can help you with that. The first steps are yours to choose.

[supasyd]

Being 22, gay, dramatic, and living in a small town is not easy. Some of this you can change.

Let us know how you want to change, and maybe people can help you with that. The first steps are yours to choose.

I moved to a big city for university but I actually prefer being in my hometown, which is also a very liberal welcoming place. I was expecting too much. I just want to be content.

[Insertnamehere]

My perception from you, considering your last thread, is that you feel things very intensely. When you like a guy and, in consequence, when it doesn't work.

That must be awful, but you can change the current thought process that is making you see everything as final.

Honestly, dating, from what I read in this forum alone, is f*cking hard!

Don't throw the towel just yet. Dive in slower on things, don't put your heart out there all at once!

There will be mistakes, failures, but there can be a success there!

[Anocxu]

You got amazing advice here..
It is not easy to engage rational thought when you get this emotional.

Today might have been a total bust ..but there is always tomorrow.

[kindy64]

Oy, 22 and sick of life already... You've barely lived pup. You have a narrow slice of experience to judge the rest of the world from. Being young is about taking risks and fucking up. Being old is about having experience fucking up and avoiding risks.

Since you aren't meeting guys who "get" you, try finding places to hang that you feel comfortable, and then maybe you'll find the type of guys who get you. What type of music are you into? Find clubs that play that kinda music. Or are you into video games, then find guys to hang and play games with. Stop trying to find the "one" and just try finding friends for a while.

You haven't gone into detail about why you think your behavior is so alien. Can't be any stranger than any of the rest of us.