Depression or when it gets too far

[Anonymous]

People tend to think people with depression are not thankful of all what they do have and i do not understand how people without depression seem to think that people with depression do not think they have their own issues.

People glued to their phones ignore texts what are friends and acquaintances for if not to be able to talk with when you need advice.

[InbetweenDreams]

People tend to think people with depression are not thankful of all what they do have and i do not understand how people without depression seem to think that people with depression do not think they have their own issues.

People glued to their phones ignore texts what are friends and acquaintances for if not to be able to talk with when you need advice.

It's easy to get stuck into that state of mind. We fall between needing a helping hand or needing a swift kick in the ass.

[MikeW]

It's easy to get stuck into that state of mind. We fall between needing a helping hand or needing a swift kick in the ass.

[MENTION=16527]Anonymous[/MENTION] is lucky I've been ignoring this thread because "a swift kick in the ass" is all I have for him (either of him). Some would think its because I'm a "mean old man" or, perhaps, because I'm insensitive and have no understanding of depression or anxiety. Quite the contrary. I grew up a depressed child. Seriously depressed. I spent YEARS in therapy as a young adult. I didn't even begin to get a grip on it until I was in my early 30s.

The bottom line is two things: First of all it has to do with what you pay attention to. The more you dwell on your own "issues" or "misery" or "anxiety" or whatever it is for you, the deeper you dig the hole. Second, there comes a point where you have to STOP blaming "people" (your parents, your family, your 'friends', "society" or whatever) for your problems. You have to take responsibility for your own issues and begin to work toward climbing out of the self-absorbed emotional hole you're stuck in. Yeah people ignore you... because your a whining self-absorbed complainer who blames all his problems on everyone else and does nothing to change the one person he CAN change: Himself.

Depression sucks. It is a real killer and I've come close many times. The worst was in my early 20s. Sometimes so bad I couldn't get out of bed for days at a time other than to go to the bathroom. No interest in anything. I wanted to die but was too full of self pity to even do that.

It took a long time but eventually I found a path and began following it. It did NOT give me any easy way out. Eventually I realized I had to FEEL my own pain, go deeply into it and through it. But, even more importantly, once I'd done that, I had to let it go. Stop holding onto it like some miserable baby blanket... like it was all that mattered. Eventually I had to accept the simple fact that *I* do NOT matter. *I*, my feelings (whatever they may be), are of no consequence to anyone but me. I had to stop fixating on "myself" and open up to the reality that the world is full of other people, each of whom experiences their own thoughts and feelings as being more "real" (and important) to them than my own. Open up to the possibility that LOVE isn't something I can *expect*, much less demand, to get from anyone, unless I'm willing to love them in return.... and LOVE is not selfish. Quite the contrary... Love is caring more for someone else than yourself.

So... Yeah, depression is a bitch. But wallowing in it, going on and on and on about "other people" and what they do or don't do... as if any of us can have any affect on them... or as if even if they DID change this would change anything about us or our state... is totally irrelevant. It gets you nowhere except more of the same.

There is only one person any of us can have real control over... and even that is only a potential, not a given.

[knickerbuck]

try antidepressants, they work, ; )

[gayboyindia24]

The best way you can help yourself by seeing a psychiatrist who can help you. Apart from that get into meditation and yoga. Professional help plus spiritual help will both work in your way

[Confuzzled4]

I was going to continue posting anonymously, but I feel that to be unfair to the other person who posts anonymously as it creates confusion. I exercise at night, on average 5 or 6 times a week. I'd like a kick in the ass, or something, I just don't feel motivated or deserving of things. Very often I feel the reason I'm alive is to spare my loved ones the pain of not being here, I don't see good things for myself in the future despite everyone telling me I should because I'm "smart, young, honest, a good person..."

[InbetweenDreams]

try antidepressants, they work, ; )

Having experience with depression/anxiety myself. I feel that medications CAN be very useful but I think they should be used temporarily, think of training wheels on a bike. I don't think in a lot of cases long term use is healthy or good for someone mentally. There are exceptions, I think there are some people who simply have to be on the medications for the long term.

The best way you can help yourself by seeing a psychiatrist who can help you. Apart from that get into meditation and yoga. Professional help plus spiritual help will both work in your way

I do think the most effective way to deal with depression is by a good counselor or therapist. They can really help up in many ways that medication can't. Very useful when you don't have friends you can open up to. Also friends, will often tell you what you want to hear, your therapist while likely will be gentle are going to tell you like it is. You sometimes need to hear the truth.

I was going to continue posting anonymously, but I feel that to be unfair to the other person who posts anonymously as it creates confusion. I exercise at night, on average 5 or 6 times a week. I'd like a kick in the ass, or something, I just don't feel motivated or deserving of things. Very often I feel the reason I'm alive is to spare my loved ones the pain of not being here, I don't see good things for myself in the future despite everyone telling me I should because I'm "smart, young, honest, a good person..."

Well it is good that you exercise. Consider doing something like a race. Maybe competition with other people can give you a boost on your motivation.

To put things in perspective, I've been doing group bike rides for a while. A lot of the guys are 10, 20...30 years older or more than me....yet it takes a great deal of effort to keep up the pace. Of course a lot of these people have been doing it a lot longer and they're simply faster than me at biking. It's one of those things where "if they can do it, I can do it." The truth is most of it is all in your head....

[Confuzzled4]

Might not be so simple, I'll find out tomorrow.

[saif1232]

I have been battling depression, for about 10years now... I've tried to commit suicide before, it's a tough life :L if you're having thoughts like this make sure you message me! Or talk to anyone, it's important that you talk to people!!

[Confuzzled4]

I'm so much better than I was, I don't have any thoughts of harming myself, though there are times I still feel hopeless. I'm making small changes in my life as often as I can to get me where I want to be. I wish I could just do everything at once, but I get so overwhelmed, and right now I don't need to do everything at once so it's ok. There's a good chance I may relapse in the future with my family history, but that's something for me to monitor.