axle2152 Wrote:It's easy to get stuck into that state of mind. We fall between needing a helping hand or needing a swift kick in the ass.
[MENTION=16527]Anonymous[/MENTION] is lucky I've been ignoring this thread because "a swift kick in the ass" is all I have for him (either of him). Some would think its because I'm a "mean old man" or, perhaps, because I'm insensitive and have no understanding of depression or anxiety. Quite the contrary. I grew up a depressed child. Seriously depressed. I spent YEARS in therapy as a young adult. I didn't even begin to get a grip on it until I was in my early 30s.
The bottom line is two things: First of all it has to do with what you pay attention to. The more you dwell on your own "issues" or "misery" or "anxiety" or whatever it is for you, the deeper you dig the hole. Second, there comes a point where you have to STOP blaming "people" (your parents, your family, your 'friends', "society" or whatever) for your problems. You have to take responsibility for your own issues and begin to work toward climbing out of the self-absorbed emotional hole you're stuck in. Yeah people ignore you... because your a whining self-absorbed complainer who blames all his problems on everyone else and does nothing to change the one person he CAN change: Himself.
Depression sucks. It is a real killer and I've come close many times. The worst was in my early 20s. Sometimes so bad I couldn't get out of bed for days at a time other than to go to the bathroom. No interest in anything. I wanted to die but was too full of self pity to even do that.
It took a long time but eventually I found a path and began following it. It did NOT give me any easy way out. Eventually I realized I had to FEEL my own pain, go deeply into it and through it. But, even more importantly, once I'd done that, I had to let it go. Stop holding onto it like some miserable baby blanket... like it was all that mattered. Eventually I had to accept the simple fact that *I* do NOT matter. *I*, my feelings (whatever they may be), are of no consequence to anyone but me. I had to stop fixating on "myself" and open up to the reality that the world is full of other people, each of whom experiences their own thoughts and feelings as being more "real" (and important) to them than my own. Open up to the possibility that LOVE isn't something I can *expect*, much less demand, to get from anyone, unless I'm willing to love them in return.... and LOVE is not selfish. Quite the contrary... Love is caring more for someone else than yourself.
So... Yeah, depression is a bitch. But wallowing in it, going on and on and on about "other people" and what they do or don't do... as if any of us can have any affect on them... or as if even if they DID change this would change anything about us or our state... is totally irrelevant. It gets you nowhere except more of the same.
There is only one person any of us can have real control over... and even that is only a potential, not a given.
.