When I do 69 with a guy, there is no top or bottom, just 2 guys enjoying dick.
"hookups are supposed to please the tops and abuse the bottoms (but some bottoms are assertive)."
Nobody should abuse you unless you are asking and into it. Maybe what you mean is not translating well.
You, top, bottom, verse, have complete domain over your body, what goes in it, and what you do with it.
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I would say I am versatile, but my partner prefers to top most of the time. I love him, so I love the fact that he is inside me. He certainly pleases me, but I am sure there is a psychological, as well as, a physical element to that. I like being that close to him. I like the way he smells, the sounds he makes, and the weight of his body on mine. It is extremely pleasurable.
For me, it is about our connection with one another and the sensation. Some men can have enjoyment by bottoming in a casual sexual encounter. I can't. Its not that I'm right and others are wrong. It is simply how it makes me feel. We are all individuals, so sex runs the gamut of personal experiences. Personally, I consider this a very intimate act. I only want my partner to have that connection with me. I want to be the one who pleases him, but to be completely honest, it also is a pleasurable sensation for me.
I think you are still trying to discover what you like. Trust me, we have all been there. My advice is to discuss this with your partner. Tell him exactly what you posted here. Together, the two of you can figure it out, and find sexual experiences that will make both of you satisfied.
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You like being that close to him, but if you top him you are actually the same close to him. You didn't mention that you have orgasm while bottoming. And i don't want to be a cock pleaser, i don't want to give more than take. I'm not happy and feel like i MUST be a cum dump. And i can't believe in words of my boyfriend that there are many total bottoms and he can easily find sex. I can't believe that there are lots of people going on hookups and being used.
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[MENTION=23639]Male[/MENTION] sex is not just a quest for climax. It's not merely a question of intense friction on the penis, but rather a wide variety of emotional and physical desires. If all we needed was friction we'd masturbate, but even that is done with visual or immaginative aid.
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No, masturbation brings poor sensations are poor orgasm!
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Male Wrote:And i don't want to be a cock pleaser, i don't want to give more than take. I'm not happy and feel like i MUST be a cum dump. And i can't believe in words of my boyfriend that there are many total bottoms and he can easily find sex. I can't believe that there are lots of people going on hookups and being used.
If that's how your boyfriend makes you feel, get a new one. He sounds like a manipulative asshole that is telling you these things to put you in the place he wants you to be, i.e. under his thumb.
So what if he can "easily find sex." Can he easily find love, or a long term relationship? There's more to being a boyfriend then just sex.
Sexual contact should happen with mutual, infor med consent. If you're not getting what you need from him, sexualy, emotionally, romantically, then why stay with him? Take control of your happiness and make your choices based on that.
Don't let fear decide your fate.
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He can't easily find love and about his sex in the past he said smth like "i could fuck somebody as i wanted to and didn't care what would be with that guy tomorrow, those guys asked me to fuck them, i didn't insist" - however, he didn't hooked up with dozens of guys. Also he said "i can't fuck you as hard as i can fuck somebody i don't love". So, all the problems we have are because of me, i'm guilty.
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Male Wrote:He can't easily find love and about his sex in the past he said smth like "i could fuck somebody as i wanted to and didn't care what would be with that guy tomorrow, those guys asked me to fuck them, i didn't insist" - however, he didn't hooked up with dozens of guys. Also he said "i can't fuck you as hard as i can fuck somebody i don't love". So, all the problems we have are because of me, i'm guilty.
Manipulative asshole...
If he's got hangups, they aren't because of you
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Noooo, he had such kind of sex in his past when i wasn't his boyfriend! He didn't cheat. But whether it is manipulation that "there are lots of bottoms". This makes me think that if so many people prefer bottoming to topping, i should be satisfied by the fact that a have a top (because if there are far more bottoms than tops, many bottoms will be single). I believe in the opposite, that it is harder to find a bottom.
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That may be true... It varies, by location, some areas may have more tops than bottoms, or vice versa...
I think manipulations is to make you think you got to be a bottom and there's no real choice to be one or the other and therefore making you think you have to adhere some sort of standard when there really isn't one. Lame excuse for lousy sex and someone who says they can fuck anyone as hard as someone they don't love probably hasn't changed. Your 18 and impressionable and older guys like him will take advantage of that....and the more I read it sounds like there is a reason to believe that..
Either way you're worrying way too much about sex roles when you really just need to relax try finding what you like...
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