I'm scared to go into a gym because I was bullied in high school in phy ed. I'm somewhere on the spectrum of being gay or bi. I don't know. But, I am overweight pretty badly and have back problems. I'm 5'10" and weigh about 250. I'd like to get to be under 200. I'm ashamed to be attracted to guys.
I am afraid of being bullied or treated badly at the gym where I have a membership. i'm 36 and am embarassed to be asking for help, but I don't know what else to do. I see a counselor for PTSD and have brought this up, but what she's suggested hasn't helped.
There are a bunch of college age jocks that hang out there that act all macho and crap, and I'm not like that at all.
How can I overcome my issues and "suck it up". I just don't feel comfortable being me at all. Any advice or insight would be appreciated.
Or you could try something like Zumba. It is a very great and fun way to loose weight and become more sporty. And the people there are normally very nice, not judging and many do it to loose weight as well.
I always think the best way to loose weight is, searching for a sport you like and do with passion, no matter what kind of sport it is. Maybe you have to try many to figure out but there is something for everyone.
There are also many sport clubs which are mainly for people who want to loose weight, so everyone has the same problem and no one would judge anyone.
And overall, never give anything about what those idiots say. You do it for yourself and not for anyone else.
Everyone started out as an out of shape newbie at the gym. You're paying as much as anyone else to be there, so you have just as much right as anyone else to get in there and do what you want to do. Seriously, no one is thinking about you. It's okay to be a little uncomfortable at first while you familiarize yourself with the equipment and your routine.
Maybe you could hire a personal trainer for a few sessions? Then you have someone there with you, like a built in support network.
I agree there's a lot you can do at home and outdoors too. Gyms are only one place for fitness.
Finally, to get your weight down, maybe 80% of it is diet and only 20% of it will be exercise at this stage of the game.
It's great you are doing this! Eventually healthy living and eating becomes a natural habit and it will reflect in how you look and how you feel. It takes months to develop good habits, so stick with it through the initial inertia phases and I am sure you will be proud of the new you that is discovered!
Ibex Wrote:You don't have to go to the gym to get in shape though.
You don't have to buy expensive equipment to work out.
He's right! I have an app on my phone called the "30 Day Fitness Challenge" (looks green with a big "30" on it). It's very nice because you don't have to buy any special equipment or anything. There are different levels of workout that increase in difficulty every day you work out. It's also awesome because it takes in to account when to exercise certain muscles so you don't overwork them.
It's a very good app because you don't have to do any of the planning with what muscles to exercise or spending money at a gym (by the way, it's free!). Then, you could do this at your house without having to worry about opinions of others.
One of my doctors telsl me I can lift weights by starting wih two cans of peas and pumping and curling away. You can also walk. If you drive to work, try parking your car a block further away each week. A friend did this and got amazing results.
I share your aversion to gyms. I never could get into phys ed when I was in school but my parents did give me a bike. That I could do. I was on my own and going places for fun. Never thought of it as exercise.
Do you like to dance? You can do that all alone in the living room if you like.
Along with all of this stuff you need to watch what you eat. Lean meats, fresh fruits, fresh vegetables. Eat simply and use reasonable portions.
Keep a little log of what you are doing. It helps keep you on track.
I felt the same way as you and avoided going to the gym for years as I was worried about being judged. I forced myself to go and now I actually look forward to going. I never in a million years thought I would enjoy the gym but there you go.
If it helps, know that nobody will be paying attention to you. Almost everybody has headphones in and is concentrating on their own work out. If you're going on the treadmill then you can't really focus on anything else anyway or you'll risk falling off the bleeding thing. Those macho guys lifting weights with arms thicker than some guys waists are 100% more interested in themselves than anybody else in the room.
The gym is full of all sorts of people of various shapes and sizes and levels of fitness and apart from a couple of people smiling and saying "good morning" nobody has ever interrupted my workout or made any comments. Honestly, everybody is just concentrating on lifting a weight or hitting their cardio targets. The gym can be quite a serene place.
My advice is to force yourself to go. Ask the staff when it's quietest, if you don't want to be there when the jocks are there then ask the gym staff when the jocks go home and then go for 20 minutes to start with. Know what you want to do, turn up with a plan. So if you're going in to use the treadmill then ask the staff to show you how to use it and then just turn up, stick your headphones in and focus on working the treadmill for 20 minutes. Once you're moving you won't even notice the other people in the gym. Stick to it and after a month or two it'll become part of your day and you won't consider it any more of a thing than brushing your teeth or showering.
Take Darren23a's advice. His experience is very much the same as mine except I was older than he when I started. It's true, no one will be interested in you oir what you're doing because they're concentrating on their own thing.
The last gym I went to I struck up a friendship with a guy from Ghana who had then most incredible physique. Nort only that, he was a really charming person. He was kind enough to show me how to do certain exercises and at one point he said to me: "What I like about you is that you're willing to try anything." It was true that I tried almost everything even though I was crap doing it. The only thing I found totally impossible was to do push ups with my feet on one Swiss ball and each hand on a separate Swiss ball. Three balls in all. It required tremendous physical strenght that I simpy did not have but he was able to do with consumate ease.
What [MENTION=21237]darren23a[/MENTION] says is quite correct. You will feel physically and mentally well after execise and will look forward to returning to the gym. You might even become bold as I did on one occasion when I offered some advice to a guy much larger than I, on how to do a particular exercise. He thanked me.
The thing is is to take the first step. After that it becomes easier and easier,
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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