02-21-2017, 04:53 PM
I agree with everybody who said some percentage of this is her redirecting her anger at the loss of her mom, but that there's the possibility there has been some resentment stewing and this was the proverbial straw, and you need to wait for her to process these emotions before you can have a rational conversation about it.
If you had a strong reason for going (anxiety, flashbacks, etc.) I would have maybe reached out to her before the wake, set the expectation that you weren't going to be able to get there and why, but asked what else you could to help her through this time. The element of surprise, if she was for whatever reason counting on your presence, probably aggravated her response. I'd suggest acknowledging this as part of your next conversation.
If you had a strong reason for going (anxiety, flashbacks, etc.) I would have maybe reached out to her before the wake, set the expectation that you weren't going to be able to get there and why, but asked what else you could to help her through this time. The element of surprise, if she was for whatever reason counting on your presence, probably aggravated her response. I'd suggest acknowledging this as part of your next conversation.