Socialising Problem!!

[bromance17]

Actually, you're quite wrong about that. A lot of what you say doesn't make any sense. If you are as irritating in person as you are in one single post, no wonder people are ignoring you.

I didnt ask for your rude opinion. Learn some manners and then start commentating.

[MikeW]

I didnt ask for your rude opinion. Learn some manners and then start commentating.

Not the least bit surprising that you experience honest opinion as "rude" and "bad manners." Your whole rant is about being a victim of other people's rude behavior.

Bottom line: You can't change other people. We do well to change ourselves. Until you understand what YOU are doing to contribute to their attitude toward you, that attitude will persist.

Can't take the heat? Stay out of the kitchen.

And BTW, there is no such word as "commentating".

Edit to add... actually you did ask for our opinions:

Any ideas?

And where the hell you get the idea that we only receive, not produce, positive energy (again, no such word as "positivity"), is beyond my comprehension. Just one example of many things you say that make no sense.

[bromance17]

Not the least bit surprising that you experience honest opinion as "rude" and "bad manners." Your whole rant is about being a victim of other people's rude behavior.

Bottom line: You can't change other people. We do well to change ourselves. Until you understand what YOU are doing to contribute to their attitude toward you, that attitude will persist.

Can't take the heat? Stay out of the kitchen.

And BTW, there is no such word as "commentating".

Edit to add... actually you did ask for our opinions:



And where the hell you get the idea that we only receive, not produce, positive energy (again, no such word as "positivity"), is beyond my comprehension. Just one example of many things you say that make no sense.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/positivity
http://www.wordreference.com/engr/positivity
You can check on these 2 dictionary links and see that positivity is a word.


I dont want to fight with you because i respect older people. Ok im sorry if this passage agitate you.
Do you think that this is the problem? I act as other people's victim? If you spot anything else it'be cool to hear

[MikeW]

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/positivity
http://www.wordreference.com/engr/positivity
You can check on these 2 dictionary links and see that positivity is a word.

Very well, on that point I stand corrected.

I dont want to fight with you because i respect older people. Ok im sorry if this passage agitate you.
Do you think that this is the problem? I act as other people's victim? If you spot anything else it'be cool to hear

I don't know you as a person, of course. All I know are the words you provide here, and even that is open to interpretation and subjective opinion.

What I look for is how self-aware someone is. I'll try to explain what I mean.

People tend to "blame" other people or, much to the same effect, "blame" themselves for life problems. But what if "blame" is irrelevant? What if what IS relevant is self-awareness and taking responsibility for one's actions and manifestations? What if what IS relevant is trying to see one's self as objectively as possible? (Not easy, obviously, as we are all burdened with our own personal histories, scars, baggage, fears, prejudices, distorted perceptions of ourselves and others, and so on.)

What I don't see in the words of your OP, is any hint that you're aware of how you come across to people. How it is that you, yourself, are contributing to the very thing you're complaining about.

The trick in trying to see ourselves objectively is to NOT fall into the trap of "blaming" ourselves or becoming a victim of our own self-criticisms. You mentioned having a low self-esteem. This is what I'm talking about. Being objective simply means we SEE clearly and OWN certain facts about ourselves... without self-incrimination or self-judgment. I see, "Oh, I behave this way and that contributes to how other people see or react to me."

It's not that there is anything "wrong" with you... we're all free to be, behave or manifest however we wish. But when it comes to other peoples' reactions to how we are, how we present ourselves, they're free to do as they wish as well. The question is, are we OK with their reactions or not? IF NOT (and clearly you're not ok with it), then we have to self-aware enough to ask the relevant questions in a non-blaming or self-incriminating way: "How do I contribute to the way other people see me and treat me?"

This question can't be answered in the abstract. It's not a guessing game of 'it might be this, it might be that'. Rather the question needs to be asked from the point of view of self-observation. If I become self-aware, I *see* directly what I'm doing, how I'm behaving, how I manifest... and I see directly how other people 'react' to it. THEN I can decide, "Am I ok with this or not?" Is this getting me what I want or not? It's not a judgment, it's simply a practical question. If I want people to relate to me differently than they do, then in what way do *I* need to be different with them?

[bromance17]

[quote=MikeW]Very well, on that point I stand corrected

What I don't see in the words of your OP, is any hint that you're aware of how you come across to people. How it is that you, yourself, are contributing to the very thing you're complaining about.

Im trying to reach self awarenes. Sometimes when im with my popular friends in a place i observe them. I look what they are doing. Imagine like coming out of my body and see everything from above. What i came to conclusion is that they behave as i do.They do nothing more nothing less. They do not have anything better. I have better looks, nicer outfit, nice personality, i smile, i have positive energy, i say better funny lines but my friends even when they dont talk, even when they're mad/grumpy they have everyone adore them because they have something i dont have. Eg. My girlfriend she is like me but because she is a girl and we live in a homophobic city everyone gives her attention. Girls want to be with her, and boys want to sleep with her.
One of my gay friends he is very ugly, smells bad but because 1st he lives in Athens (gay friendly city) 2nd) he says stupid things all the time and 3rd)he is a millionaire a lot of gay men approach him. In college he was meeting gay men because he knew all the proffessors and all gay men approached him for a reason. Another cousin is popular because he is in the army and he is a sergeant. My low self esteem was created by other people's demeanor. I know i shouldnt rely myself on other people's view but of course it's affecting me.
I may seem lame but the problem is my luck . Im not pessimistic in front of others. In front of others im very extroverted but nothing happens. Even if i try to meet someone or not. I meet gay men from common friends but they dont show any interest. They talk to me boringly, vague and dont continue talking. And i see them hanging out with people i think they are worse than me. And i say is this possible? They like them and not me? Some other times they prefer my friends over me. And then i get frustrated. In the past i was working in a supermarket. There was a guy i liked but he had a bad timing. Everytime he talked to me i was mad and very abrupt to him because 5 minutes ago i was reprimanded by my boss. Everyday this man saw me in my bad mood but he was happy to see me, he was greeting me from 10 meters away and always was hugging me. He liked me so muchh that he overlooked my bad attitute. Thats why i believe that being accepted is up to the others. If they like you even if you are killer, they'll like you.

Hope it wasnt quite exhausting to you !!!!!!

[bromance17]

actually, you're quite wrong about that. A lot of what you say doesn't make any sense. If you are as irritating in person as you are in one single post, no wonder people are ignoring you.

you are an asshole !!!!!!!
If you want to judge first judge yourself old hag!!!!

[MikeW]

you are an asshole !!!!!!!
If you want to judge first judge yourself old hag!!!!

LOL

[Camfer]

you are an asshole !!!!!!!
If you want to judge first judge yourself old hag!!!!

This type of behavior could be exactly why people avoid you in real life, and online too.

[deephiance]

I see after getting a private message telling me I was rude and that I should only make positive comments that my gut instinct that this person is a narcissist living in his own fantasy cocoon is correct

[bromance17]

This type of behavior could be exactly why people avoid you in real life, and online too.

Yes i agree this behaviour as an isolated example could be an exact reason. But i didnt wrote it out of a sudden. We had a history. If you read all the comments you will see i was extremely polite and nice, i even apologised without doing something wrong just to be polite and Mikex was very insulting to me. If it takes to let anyone insult me just to like me, im sorry but i cant accept it.