It has been 10 years since my last relationship and I am very much dependent on someone (currently my dad) financially and for day-to-day tasks. I have no sex drive but I do desire to be in a romantic relationship. Currently the only thing keeping me going is the lie I tell myself that this is still possible. I really don't know how long I will be able to lie to myself.
Also, i am tired. Tired of pretending that I am OK when I am not ?
Turns out out I can't type with tears in my eyes
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So sorry to hear this. I have a couple of friends with MS and it is horrible watching this long, slow condition ravage lovely people.
I wish I had some words of encouragement or comfort, but anything I write will sound trite. I just wanted to write something to let you know you I heard you. Depression seems to come with the territory. Are you getting any help with that? Does your dad manage to get some respite, because I bet he's tired too.
Love and best wishes to you.
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My dependence on him is more stud like cooking and washing laundry, it's stuff I can hire someone to do, but then there's also the couple of times a week bathroom mishap that I require assistance with and that can be any time during the day so it's not really something that can be scheduled.
Also, I am on antidepressants, Bipolar medicine and a tranquilliser for sleep. I think I might need good psychiatric counselling but it's not affordable for us at the moment.
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I am following a few interabled couples on YouTube and while they do give me hope for the future, that is soon squashed when I get rejected by guys on dating sites (sadly the only way I can meet people)
I live on a farm outside a little rural town in a very rural province of South Africa. If I stayed in one of the bigger cities still things might be different.
But for now I have decided to accept that I may always be alone and that's OK. Being alone doesn't have to mean that I am lonely. This is my outlook now
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• ChadCoxRox
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No being single doesn't mean you have to be lonely.
There are dating sites that are that are aimed at interabled dating. I don't know which sites have South Africa in their service area, most are coming up for the US and UK but I'm also searching in the US. Perhaps you have looked into that already? I'll try hopping on my VPN and see if there is a South Africa server I can connect to as it would be helpful to change my locale for looking up dating sites in South Africa.
As fare as rejection goes, that happens a lot. It does take a lot of effort and time to find someone you would want to date. I don't know much about South Africa other than tidbits I get from the news. I don't know what people are like over there either...
What I can say is I know what it is like being in a rural area. It definitely makes the pond shallower that is for sure, takes forever to get places and people who live in a larger city are more reluctant to travel further to go on a date. Where driving 30, 40, 50+ miles (that's 80 km) for me to go on a date is within the realm of what I consider reasonable is out of the question for someone living in a city. At least that has been my experience.
I wish I had some good advice or something I could think to say that would make things better. I do think finding ways that you can connect with people either be through dating sites or even guys on here, having those connections and relationships (romantic or otherwise) is important. It's been very tough with the pandemic and most people are unable to get outside, go places do things. I'll try to look up some stuff and see what I can find.
The best thing I can think of is don't give up on the idea of having a relationship, but don't let it rule your life.
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
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I tried searching for interabled dating sites in South Africa but didn't find any. From the international interabled dating group I am on on Facebook, I have found that the abled people on there are people who are specifically looking to date disabled people and that raises the question as to why? It's just a bit weird.
But thanks for your kind words and suggestions
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• ChadCoxRox
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(06-03-2020, 11:00 PM)Spades Wrote: I tried searching for interabled dating sites in South Africa but didn't find any. From the international interabled dating group I am on on Facebook, I have found that the abled people on there are people who are specifically looking to date disabled people and that raises the question as to why? It's just a bit weird.
But thanks for your kind words and suggestions
those people may have a sexual fetish for disabled persons. This might sound weird at first, but it’s also nothing they have control over or ever can get rid off and nothing to be ashamed about.
Bernd
Being gay is not for Sissies.
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You can never be sure what someone's intentions are. It may be a fetish for some, may be something completely different. Likewise you do have to be careful and that's advice for anyone.
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I agree, it's OK if it's just a harmless fetish but I am afraid they might want to use it to dominate me and I am wary of their intentions.
I am an active member of a group of global gay MSers and I am really glad to have discovered GS again as I do like to talk to people but on my terms lol
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