I don't want to give up!

[shykid25]

It has been a month since my partner and I started to be on a break and 3 weeks since my partner blocked me on social media. And I am not 100% sure if he is cheating, because it is just a suspicion I have had for the past week and half. Do you think it would be appropriate, if I showed up at his job (restaurant) with flowers and a monster energy drink (which he loves), to surprise him? We haven't seen each other since March due to Covid-19 and their reason for going on a break was he said he is dealing with a lot of stress, losing two friends to suicide and it built up in their head and it became overwhelming, I'm guessing. (I know mental illness runs in his family, not sure if that is helpful information)

We have been dating for a year and few months now. He means the world to me and I really do not want to lose him. 

What should I do?

[LJay]

Don't show up at his workplace. Mixing personal problems with work is often very hard on all of the people involved. It can also present your friend in an awkward way to his supervisors and coworkers.

If you want to do flowers, have them delivered by a decent florist--along with the can of Monster--to his home at a time when you are pretty sure he will be there or that someone will be there to receive them. You can attach a card that says "Missing you--Would love to touch base." or something of the sort. Make it a simple bouquet and not too showy. The florist can help you with that.

Then prepare yourself to get an answer, or not. He may be ghosting you. He may have problems completely unrelated to you. He may ...whatever. You simply have to toss the ball into his court and stand back for his reply. In other words, give him an opportunity but also give him space.

[Tjemka88]

Move on. Don't make a fool out of yourself trying to impress someone who clearly doesn't want you anymore.

[InbetweenDreams]

The blocking on social media is a bit much. That really does suck, if it were me, I would probably have to force myself to pass because more than likely you will be rejected by him. Given the blocking I'd say he might be wanting more than a break? That being said, this is all based on a couple paragraphs you wrote about your relationship and advising you on what to do is tricky... what went wrong? why did he block you? We can only speculate. Losing anyone to suicide can be very painful and people DO handle grief differently but taking a break and blocking you on social media doesn't sound like grief.

I mean, you can send him flowers and a monster energy drink and see what happens and I agree with @LJay not to show up at his workplace. That is definitely a bad idea. I would not want my ex or someone I'm at odds with showing up at my workplace. I would not expect much, if anything at all from this... Frankly, last time I bought someone flowers was a waste of money.

If this break and blocking were completely out of the blue... Screw him. He doesn't deserve your love and doesn't deserve any flowers either.

[CellarDweller]

Do not show up at his job with flowers and an energy drink.

he's told you he needs space, and to show up at his place of work would be seen by him as a violation of his space and request.

I don't know why he has blocked you from his social media, that makes no sense to me at all whatsoever. As difficult as this is, I wouldn't reach out to him at all. Let him reach out to you. If he doesn't, then'll you'll know how he feels.

[shykid25]

Thank you everyone, I know it is hard to move on, it just been difficult for me to do so. And @InbetweenDreams there was nothing wrong going on in our relationship pre-covid-19 or during. We texted and talked everyday like a normal day before covid. So yeah I have no idea what happened, my thought is he started talking to someone else and is well cheating. As much as I hope he isn't and as for the social media block he said it would be for the best. Not sure what that means, except let me hide what I'm really doing. IDK. I have not stopped crying. I have tried the dating apps recently and gosh I hate dating, its terrible. I just felt like we were a perfect match, we had a lot of similarties and difference and I felt like we balanace each other out.

[marshlander]

Very sorry to read about your situation. You sound very sad that this has happened.

I'm going with the replies you have already received. The big gesture sounds like a bad idea. Try not to dwell on that one. Like you, I haven't seen my partner since March either. We used to chat every day, but I guess that after eighteen years together that is not quite so pressing. Most other years he would have come to England by now so that we can spend six or seven weeks together. That's not going to happen when our respective countries have different rules.

I know it's hard when a relationship moves at different speeds for the people involved, but this sounds as though it may have run its course.

Cry all you need to and accept some virtual hugs.



Better luck next time.

[shykid25]

And I just remembered as I was crying in the shower, that he blocked me after my friend went off on him on social media. I think that might of been why. Just thought y'all should know. And I appreciate everyone's response and for virtual hugs.

[InbetweenDreams]

@"shykid25" That is very suspect if you ask me.... It doesn't sound like he's got your best interest. I can tell you that things can seem like something completely different, like it's a match made in heaven... Being in love with someone does make us blind to things, make us think everything is perfect and so on. I know all too well. Dating isn't fun, unless it is just going really well.

If he hasn't bothered to explain why he's done all this then yeah I can see why one might come to the conclusion that he is cheating. At any rate, it looks like he's pushing you away pretty hard for some reason. At any rate, someone who treats you in this way does not deserve you. Period.

As far as friends go...Not sure what went on there with your friend going off on them, but it is has to do with you and him...well frankly I think friends can sometimes cause more trouble. It is easy to think hey I'm going to stick up for my friend and tell this guy what a piece of shit he is or whatever and think you're doing them a good deed but maybe not.

I don't know but I am not liking the sounds of this guy....

[Pyromancer]

I'm sorry that he's treating you this way.  I think that it's impossible to have a relationship without communication.  His behavior seems immature and hurtful.  It makes me wonder if you're right, that he's cheating but doesn't want to entirely let go of you.

I agree with the other guys, don't go to his work.  Do you have any way to reach him?  Email?  Text?  You could simply ask him if he still wants a relationship or not.  No drama, no accusations, just a simple question.  You need some resolution here.  You can't move on til you know where you stand.