struggling with depression

[Shadow]

Hey Rocky Racoon,

I'm not really sure what I can add, as you've already been given a broad variety of decent advice mile: - save to say that if you're on MSN any time, and fancy a natter, you'd be surprised the hours myself and some of my closest friends keep.

As far as the depression is concerned, it's a puzzling thing isn't it, because you know you don't like the way you feel, and in some cases you can put your finger on why you feel like you do - or at least the incident/s that has/have caused you to feel this way, but actually fixing these things is considerably more elusive ... :frown:.

I went through a brief (3 month) bout of depression when I was 18, and if I never experience anything like that again I'll be grateful, so I do empathise with what you must be going through ...

My advice would be, if you're finding (as it seems you are) that this is becoming a rather concentric cycle, insofar as you're withdrawing progressively from your regular circle of friends and so on, consider branching-out and having a natter with people on MSN or similar ... if you want to, you're welcome to add me to your friends list - [email protected].

.

Hang in there kiddo - there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and contrary to popular belief, it isn't the train ...

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[marshlander]

... there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and contrary to popular belief, it isn't the train ...

There may indeed be light at the end of the tunnel, but if you can't see it it might as well not be there. Sometimes it is the train ... :eek:

[Genersis]

There may indeed be light at the end of the tunnel, but if you can't see it it might as well not be there. Sometimes it is the train ... :eek:

Only if you chose to take that tunnel.
So I guess reciving help when you're having trouble seeing the light is like having someone place mirrors in said tunnel?:redface:

[Rocky Racoon]

Why is it whenever I feel I've taken a step forward, something or someone knocks me three back.

After disscusing my problems ad nausem with my parents, which was probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. We all agreed it'd be best if I moved home. For a number of reasons ie financially, mentally etc. [took me a long time to decide in all fairness]. So I plucked up the courage told my housemate, who were fantastically supportive and spoke with my landlord who was also great.

Anyway getting my stuff boxed and things organised when i thought I'd ring my folks to let them know how I've been. (hadn't seen them since my birthday last weds) Only to discover that one of them has done a F****** u-turn [won't say which one] and doesnt want me home for the following,

1. Where would all the stuff go? You've got loads and so have we! I mean WTF???? how do I answer that
2. What if you don't get any better, we're stuck with you at home then - THEIR EXACT words.
3. You're 25 yo now you should be out on your own and shouldnt be back here.

Needless to say I blew a fuse and completely lost it with 'them' said somethings I shouldn't have done but come on how is that a valid list of reasons for not wanting to help your own son.

Feel ashamed and disgusted now, 3/4 through a bottle of JD and other 'helpers' what should I do????

:frown:

[TAB]

Do the CES-D test. If your scores are over 16, you are in depression.

P.S.: I can't post link or images, because I did not have enough power to do that.

[timtravolta]

that's some serious shit. if they won't help you, go to your friends for support. have you figured out what is causing your depression? i think it is helpful if you would address the source rather than the actual depression. but remember don't do anything that you will regret. it is easy to let it all lose but sometimes that just makes things worse mate. don't blame yourself for everything okay?

[eastofeden]

I would love to help you if I can....you have gotten some great advice and I agree with most of it so I am going to try to add something else in case it might help in any way...I know when I was struggling with anxiety and depression and desperately wanted out of the prison I felt I was in I took help from so many things...trying to figure a way out.

I could write a book on the subject and how I overcame it...wasn't easy...but there were three things that really helped me begin a solid foundation.

The first thing was finding a "guru" of sorts...this guy was able to speak to a part of me in a manner in which I didn't quite understand but somehow he gave me hope...I realize that we are all individuals and what works for one person may not work for another but just in case it might spark something for you I have followed this guy for over 30 years now...read all his books and read his column every week. The first thing I read from him was entitled "Images are Dangerous"...I knew I agreed with that sentiment completely but wasn't sure why...I also knew it had ALOT do do with my state of mind...so I read and listened and even wrote to him and he helped me immensely...he still does. Here is a link just in case you can get anything you can use..

Free Will Astrology : Horoscopes

His insights are much more than any astrological sign. I sometimes forget he writes astrology columns in addition to his books but I read them every week faithfully and I always find something I can use to grow and evolve myself.

The second thing I found VERY useful was the Briggs Myers test...it helped me more than I can ever say. I was 100% skeptical so I took it many times and always had the same results and the INFP profile fit like a glove...I almost felt as though someone had spied on me...I used this tool to help me identify some of the things I should always avoid and also used it to forgive myself...accept myself...and accept other people for what they are. Prior to that I was always anxious and depressed and feeling as though I needed to change something versus accepting myself for who I am.

Myers Briggs Personality Test MBTI Personality Types (there are many internet versions...I am a dinosaur however so I took the test pre internet from the book:biggrin

The third thing I did was shopped around for a therapist who "got it". It was probably the most difficult thing as it isn't easy finding someone who really can "hear" you but I finally did...I found a therapist who only works with empaths and the first thing she said to me when I met her shocked me as I hadn't said a word yet. She asked me a simple question that I had never thought to ask myself and I didn't think it mattered one way or another. Her question "If your mom and dad came to you today with their arms open and said "I love you" and gave you a big hug...what would you do?". At first I though...hmmm...she is certainly weird for asking me that since I didnt' even mention my parents to her nor did I think they had anything to do with it...but I indulged her and thought about it for a minute and then I surprised myself and told her that it would make me sick if they did that...who would have thought? Well...she was a wise woman which I would soon discover and she simply said to me..."Why do you work so hard to get the approval of two people who you dont' even like...or want approval from?". I was stunned...but strangely I began to overcome my depression for the first time...she eventually gave me the tools I needed to overcome it permanently and deal with things...so my advice is to search for a therapist who will HEAR you...even hear the things you dont' know you are feeling.

I don't know if anything I said will help at all but I do know that you should always keep reaching out because you will always find someone who will care...until you are able to care for yourself.

[Genersis]

Why is it whenever I feel I've taken a step forward, something or someone knocks me three back.

After disscusing my problems ad nausem with my parents, which was probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. We all agreed it'd be best if I moved home. For a number of reasons ie financially, mentally etc. [took me a long time to decide in all fairness]. So I plucked up the courage told my housemate, who were fantastically supportive and spoke with my landlord who was also great.

Anyway getting my stuff boxed and things organised when i thought I'd ring my folks to let them know how I've been. (hadn't seen them since my birthday last weds) Only to discover that one of them has done a F****** u-turn [won't say which one] and doesnt want me home for the following,

1. Where would all the stuff go? You've got loads and so have we! I mean WTF???? how do I answer that
2. What if you don't get any better, we're stuck with you at home then - THEIR EXACT words.
3. You're 25 yo now you should be out on your own and shouldnt be back here.

Needless to say I blew a fuse and completely lost it with 'them' said somethings I shouldn't have done but come on how is that a valid list of reasons for not wanting to help your own son.

Feel ashamed and disgusted now, 3/4 through a bottle of JD and other 'helpers' what should I do????

:frown:

I can't beleave they did that to ya!
MANY HUGS!

I'm affraid you'll just have to cope till another opitunity reveals itself. I'm REALLY sorry to hear that. Don't do anything we WILL and you MIGHT regret, eh?:frown:

In the mean time. Finding someone to talk to about all your problems is probably the best way to stop all the littler things building up and getting on top of you. And i'm pretty sure we're, as a comunity, quite happy to hear you out if it will make you feel better.mile:

[princealbertofb]

I second Genersis's thoughts. Very sorry to see you in such a state and so badly treated.

[marshlander]

Indeed. Very sad to hear that your parents can't help. What's the latest, RR?