struggling with depression

[sudanese]

Hi Rocky Racoon.

Consider all what the guys here have said, but you should seek medical help, preferably a psychiatrist, and as soon as possible. Sometimes we reach a point when the accumulation of stresses of life do some Chemical changes in our nerves that most of time we can't fix on our own: that's when we try everything and it still doesn't work, when we get lots of kind advice and it still doesn't help...

a psychiatrists, who understands both our brain chemistry and psych is the person who can help most in your situation, and from what you say I think with their help you will get over it.

until you go to the psychiatrist please don't even think of harming yourself, I am sure there are lots of people who love you and care about you, as I am sure you will get over this, let's just don't do things that can't be undone.

[funlad89]

My advice is to not turn to drink. My ex boyfriend and my current boyfriend both do it when they're depressed and it doesn't help them, they only get into bits even more. Don't know what to suggest about the parent situation though, that really isn't cool of them to do that. Hope all works out in the end x

[peterinmalaga]

Hi Rocky,
I'm so sorry you are having such a bad time. You have been given some really good advice and I hope that it's not too long before you start to get back on your feet.


It might be a good idea sometimes to tell people about the twitch in your hand before they see it. That could have the effect of making it seem less of a surprise to them and sometimes just saying something like that can make you feel more in control.


Eastofeden's advice about the therapist is very important. You don't want just any old therapist. They really must be listening and helping. You probably need professional advice of another sort, a clinical assessment of your situation. See your GP. S/he is the gatekeeper to all sorts of help and often you may not have to pay for it that way. But just because it's free does not mean you should accept second best. Go back to the GP time and again until you really get the right help for you. Your GP should know of lots of resources that may not occur to you.


I can't believe your parents. I hope they don't think they can turn to you when they're old and losing their faculties. Ask them for financial help. They have a duty to give you help of some sort. Do you have any siblings, other relatives or close friends who can help you out? Try the phone-in helplines too and scour the internet for sources of help. Citizen's Advice may be able to point you in the right direction as well. Keep us posted here too.


If you can manage it, physical exercise of any sort can be good too – walking, running, the gym, yoga, whatever. Relaxation CDs might also be useful.


Peter xx

[Wintereis]

Depression can be a serious problem especially if it includes suicidal ideations. Unfortunately, due to the social stigma related to homosexuality, depression is fairly common in the gay community. And, even worse, due to the social stigma relating to depression and other mental illnesses, people often chose to try and hide it rather than seek help for it. I have been where you are, and all I can say is that facing your problems, bringing your family and friends closer to you (rather than pushing them away), and opening up to a therapist are your best options for help. And you will need help in order to get yourself out of your current situation.

It is often very difficult to want to open up and share many of the emotional strains and feelings we have. It takes courage and a desire to change. Telling your friends and family that you are suffering from depression and anxiety is much like coming out of the closet. There is a fear of judgment and rejection--the same can be said about opening up to a therapist--but ultimately it is best for yourself and, more often than not, your loved ones.

I have had patients who have done as you have, remained quiet and isolative about their illness. Inevitably, this desire to protect themselves from judgment leads to more harmful consequences. Remember that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You are not alone in this, though it may seem so at times, there are many others who have gone through what you are going through now and more who are willing to help and listen without judgment.

Seek help. Have the courage to own your illness for what it is and deal with it accordingly. There is much more in this world worth living for if you allow yourself to see it.

[Sil]

I've suffered from depression too and I know what a difficult time it is when you just start to lose the ability to cope with pressures. Reading a lot of this reminded me of my situation some years ago that I'm still living in the wake of.

The worst part is that the best advice is the most obvious, and in truth the only change will come as a realisation from a random event - you don't need to be scared, you are a good person, you exist and as such have a right to live without suffering, especially self-imposed.

Excercise...trust me. The gym helped me through it in part, because it's almost impossible to feel bad after you're knackered and flowing with endorphins. Social time too, have 'warm' nights in with people you trust, and if you want to make the leap into something more social take it slow, a big night out will only resign you to socialising being a scary experience. Try not to fish for it, but spend some money on your appearance and a haircut, compliments and attention are wonderful.

And be good to yourself don't be scared to be a bit afraid and take things at your own pace. 'the art of happiness' is a good book and not cheesy, showing psychological evidence compared with intuitive thoughts on living life.

Take care bud.

[fenris]

You can do so many things against depressions... as first, don´t sleep as long as it´s possible, than sleep only for a few hours. This could help ... its a chemical-thing int the brain.. I don´t want to translate this complete mess...
Then ..ever you noticed that you get a depressive phase think aware : Not now - I´m healthy, I´m well !
Light - light is very important, be sure that you get enough light in your prefered color. my are deep blue and green... but the most people prefered warm colors like red, orange and yellow...
And do other things ... hear audiobooks, go out, take a bath, begin crochet, knit... let your hands do something what your brain must watching .. but don´t drink alcohol !
Drink Tea ... best is basil .. 1 - 2 Teaspoons on a cup of boiling water, 2 - 3 times a day.
Take a bath with lavendula and Rosmarinus officinalis -Aromatic´s....
Talk with your friends..... play a game ... have a look that you are not alone at the worst time.
To have a sickness is not a problem, but it is a problem if you don´t know what to do against ist

If it´s possible visit a psychiatrist....

Maybe I should explain why I know something about depressions ... I have a pain-sickness .. - called Fibromyalgia - since 22 years. One part of this sickness are heavy pains and I get all 8 hours morphine and other heavy painkiller against it. The other part can be - and the most patients have - very heavy depressions. My doctor send me every year 1 time to a Psychiatrist ... and he attests me every time, that I´m mentally very stabil.

This is a very private posting... and I only write it, because it can help somebody