Issues gay men face in r/s?

[Markluvsu]

i want to stay single and have fun

[borrein]

The gay world is so hung up on looks, it is really silly imo.

You're right, the gay world is hung up on looks alone it seems. I go to gay.com and I get "Oh, you're a fattie, fuck you." I just shrug it off because they think I wanted to yiff them when I just wanted to chat the pompous screwballs. My biggest relationship problem is sometimes my hubby and I don't talk enough because we're both major nerds, we're always at a computer. I crave his attention and sometimes I don't get his attention like I want when I want and it makes me feel depressed like he doesn't care, even though he does.

[princealbertofb]

Well this may not sound like a problem to you guys but it is one for me. I look really really young for my actual age. Most people assume I am in my early 20s (or younger). It was great when I was just fooling around and stuff but now that I want a serious relationship it makes things difficult in little ways. For example, if I am dating a guy that is in his early to late 20s, I find that a lot of the stuff that he wants to do/likes to do are things that I have already done and dont really want to be part of again (bar scene and stuff like that). If I am dating a guy that is my actual age, then people assume I have a "dad" fetish and (more often than not) the guy ends up not trusting me or becomes resentful towards me for looking younger than him. The gay world is so hung up on looks, it is really silly imo. To me the most attractive feature a man can have is intelligence and looks come second to that every time but the close relationships I have had have all ended because I look younger than I am in one way or another. It is rather depressing.

Then you need to find a partner that looks as young as you but is as old as you and then you'll be safe... won't you?

[princealbertofb]

You're right, the gay world is hung up on looks alone it seems. I go to gay.com and I get "Oh, you're a fattie, fuck you." I just shrug it off because they think I wanted to yiff them when I just wanted to chat the pompous screwballs. My biggest relationship problem is sometimes my hubby and I don't talk enough because we're both major nerds, we're always at a computer. I crave his attention and sometimes I don't get his attention like I want when I want and it makes me feel depressed like he doesn't care, even though he does.

Why don't you both settle on a time and day when you're not going to be on your computers, so you can give each other a bit of time together? Then try to stick to it. Make it important. You can even extend the idea to several weekly dates like that.

[princealbertofb]

I think the biggest issue I'm facing is... well, for starters, finding a guy I can actually stand for more then a month, lol. I have a pretty healthy geeky side, I love videogames and anime and all that jazz, but I'm also a social butterfly and I'm not shy in group settings. I like to drink and smoke weed and every once in a blue moon I might even do a little more (on special occasions, like New Years), I LOVE to party, but I don't go overboard, and I never do anything I can't handle. I've got a bunch of friends ranging from goody goodies to pimps and badasses and while I do get really close and even supportive with all my friends, I don't feel the need to become involved in their drama. I've got a mouth like a sailor and dirty sense of humor. I'm monogamous, but I'm also a bit of closet freak and I wanna be open to trying new things when it comes to sex... hell I'm open to trying new things period.

Anyway, the issue is that, so far, I've never met anyone who knows how to walk those fine lines. I don't expect a guy to love or want to do every thing I do, but I do expect a guy to accept that I do what I do and get over it or kick rocks. I meet a guy who likes to party and be social, but he thinks my love of games, comics, and anime is absolutely childish, he's not sexually open or affectionate, and he turns out to be a big drunk! So I nix him and meet a geeky guy who loves anime and games, he likes to smoke and drink and he's sexually adventurous and GREAT IN BED, but he's only social with his own friends and unnecessarily shell shocked with my friends. He also has hobbies that I've already dabbled in and don't care for... I'm still supportive and I'll even come along and watch, but that's not enough, I HAVE to participate or else I can kick rocks (which is exactly what I did).

I don't even make it past date one with most guys, and the ones who do make it end up trying to change me or driving me crazy before we make it to the two month mark.:frown:

Find yourself another Libran or... try learning to compromise?

[cry0s]

I really don't think it's just the gay folks that get too hung up on looks. Seems pretty universal to me.

[Evilbunnie]

Find yourself another Libran or... try learning to compromise?

I compromise plenty, but I'm not going to compromise when it comes to someone trying to change who I am, or boss me around... that's absurd.

[DarkDaisuke]

My issue is location; there are no gay guys nearby.

[Beaux]

Then you need to find a partner that looks as young as you but is as old as you and then you'll be safe... won't you?

Sweet idea Got someone in mind? An intro would be appreciated! :biggrin:

[GrandCracker]

My issue is location; there are no gay guys nearby.

Ha, don't I know it! And no one wants a stocky fellow like me anyway.