09-03-2010, 04:59 AM
It's long i know and I'm sorry but i always kept to myself, so it's kinda hard to let out the whole thing short. * (Im Bi~) *
Alright, so there's this guy that i kind of noticed since the first day of 7th grade. He sat in front of me at lunch. He seemed odd and kinda out of place somehow and. He isn't really all that cute, but I gradually did like him towards the end of the year but idk why... I always thought he was annoying with his facial expressions, and the way he talked.
I never had a class with him, and we never talked, but just had a few glances at each other now and then. But then, in 8th grade i had P.E. with him. 1st period of the day... At first I didn't mind, but it got to the point where it kinda bugged me later on because whenever I would come into the locker room, that's when he starts taking off his shirt and change. I'm not kidding about this. The moment he sees me is almost exactly when he starts to change. Other than that, once he is done, he would "hang" with some dude he barely talks to whose locker is next to mine while i start changing. It practically went on just about like this everyday until the end of the year..
Now, Those are just tiny little things that i know could be just a coincidence, but on my last day of middle school, i guess he thought that was the last of me that he'd see so i guess he kinda stopped with all that weird crap. But, little did he know that i actually am going to the same school as he is, so on the first day of school, i was with little group of buddies trying to find where our classes are and he goes upstairs alone and kinda lost looking. He turns around and sees me and he kinda awkwardly just stood there for a while like he was surprised (this might be cheesy but it felt like one of those spotlight moments in movies...but whatever.. ) I just kinda ignored that fact and went along my business until i got to P.E. with some of my friends where i saw him sitting close to my area and found out i had P.E. with him AGAIN... (i was a freshman here)
A week passed and all the lockers were assigned, and we started to dress out. I noticed that he never did the whole "take-shirt-off-when-sees-me-thing" anymore and i thought that was good i guess.
Here I am thinking its all good.. when i go to the bathroom and see him through the mirror going to the bathroom as well. I thought that he just needed to use it to so I went on with my business and got out. So i go back with my friends and i c him going my way and walked right behind me to the other side of the locker room brushing his arm i guess "on accident" against mine on the way. I felt a bit uncomfortable, but just kept thinking nah.. it's nothing! then comes to this whole daily routine for about one or two weeks with following me to the bathroom in and out everyday.. and whenever we r playing and i happen to looking his way, he would purposely lift up his shirt showing his stomach area-All the time. Whenever we have to stretch, he even pulled down his shorts WITH HIS BOXERS a few times showing his bare ass! (which just saying.. looks REAAALLLLLLLLLYYYYY nice... but not the point) and when he did so, i was behind him diagonally by one person.
I am pretty sure he knows I ignore most of what he does or at least i hope he did and idk why he keeps on doing it. He recently dated one of my old friends more "acquaintance" actually (though i think he didn't know i knew her) and would make out with her when I'm around (or at least its what it seems like to me so it happens 80% of the time) which I mean Idk why he does when he does all that stuff to me everyday.
Few weeks later, he kinda starts to walk purposely slow towards the gym from the cafeteria and walks right in just about the same time as me and my buddies were. Same old routine, but he hasn't been doin anything odd anymore other than that until one day he stood by the water fountain next to the bathroom. i dressed out then went to my friends. i saw him just standing there then he vanished. all of a sudden my friends where like wth? i NEVER saw him cry at all ever.. im like wtf??? who??? and then we walk outside, i see HIM! crying there.. and his buddies where around him makin him feel better. Idk what to feel.. i automatically felt like i've been stabbed or something. i didn't like seeing him cry. i never like seeing anyone cry but with him it was much more painful to see! i wanted to walk up to him and try asking whats wrong.. lend a crying shoulder, but that would totally outa place for me. my friends think i don't like him so how can i go up there.? and his buddies were already there too. i wanted to butt in but can't and had that feeling of "DAM. im still TOO SHORT to reach that one!" and in my situation, i had no chairs around to help me reach farther. . . my friends were totally not an option.. they think i hate him.. so why help him ? (in their minds..) {i found out his GF broke up with him}
next day, no matter what, i was going to walk up to him i told myself.. but im such a fucking p*ssy... i couldnt do sh*t.. besides, i saw him all happy again right away flashing his abs again. i guess it meant they were back together. right then and there, i was like, alright.. No hope anymore.. obviously, he is very much into his GF so i felt like i was only fooling myself. Though, he never stops doing what he does. i got sick for a couple days, and my friend told me that he looked a bit curious as to why i was gone and kept looking over to see if i'd show up. (least its what my friend thinks) (( oh btw, yes one of my friends noticed him act the ay he does when im around so he knows, but not that im bi never told anyone)) pretty much the rest of the year was so and so the usual, not too much new. flash here, flash there, if i'm not there he notices, and that was it for my freshman year.
Even if he does all that, i really don't know why, and I hate saying this... BUT I actually LIKE HIM! Even if he annoys the hell out of me... And now, i still do.. im a sophomore now at the same school too.. this time i told myself I am done over the summer. He loves his gf, whatever he is straight and its not like i could just ask him anyway, that would be humiliating.. and idk what i say around new people, i'm an idiot.. -_- i'd embarrass myself...
So... first day of school, (couple days ago) i didnt see him but i knew he went to my school cause i have spanish with his bro but no more classes with him, not even lunch. i was like hmm alright he still goes here but its okay i don't like him anymore. The bell rang, the day was a bore yadayadayada. I walk to the buses but on the way, I saw him.! THEN.. BANG! those few seconds made m day and somewhere inside me said Yes, i AM still hopelessly into him... He looked the same. shaved head though. but i like it on him, but he seemed so sad.. He looked like he wasn't happy going to school here anymore. It was that sad-but-cute-out-of-place-look again.. honestly, i feel exactly like that. dunno why. maybe its him. i think it is my regret of not doing anything... that "what if" has probably the only thing that i've been thinking about for awhile now maybe.. but anyway, i honestly don't know if he saw me though, or maybe even noticed me. friends told me i totally look different this year. i didnt think so, my hair was just a bit shorter, but some juniors did ask me who i had last year thinking im a frikin senior.. o_o. but not the point.. 2nd day, i got caught up with my classes.. too much work, too boring. 5th period i was walking upstairs, i saw him! half of me said YES! i see him at least 30 sec before switching classes! and the other half was like.. Yay.. remind of me more of who my regrets pinpoints to... Blah. i think he saw me this time for sure. he was walking with a freshman buddy and forcefull said out loud ask he past by me to the freshman, "Oh You have her for that class?? Haha" sooooooooo loud. i guess it was to get my attention again.. but yeah.. today, i didn't see him.. yesterday, nothing either i had to take a different route..
SO, Do u guys think he was just messing.? Cause I'd agree but then again, part of me wouldn't cause its been 3 years by now.?? And he is one persistent dude....
What do u guys think ? is he insinuating something?? or what? Is it all joke?? D:
And i would talk to him straight up too but he is so called "popular" and if he tells anyone, im dead pretty much.. and now, i jus don't know anymore i guess it's all over. i barely see him and probably won't be seeing him much at all. what is worse is i have pretty much nobody at all to talk to in ANY of my classes.. i feel like soooo outta place and don't even know what to feel about him anymore.[/FONT]
Alright, so there's this guy that i kind of noticed since the first day of 7th grade. He sat in front of me at lunch. He seemed odd and kinda out of place somehow and. He isn't really all that cute, but I gradually did like him towards the end of the year but idk why... I always thought he was annoying with his facial expressions, and the way he talked.
I never had a class with him, and we never talked, but just had a few glances at each other now and then. But then, in 8th grade i had P.E. with him. 1st period of the day... At first I didn't mind, but it got to the point where it kinda bugged me later on because whenever I would come into the locker room, that's when he starts taking off his shirt and change. I'm not kidding about this. The moment he sees me is almost exactly when he starts to change. Other than that, once he is done, he would "hang" with some dude he barely talks to whose locker is next to mine while i start changing. It practically went on just about like this everyday until the end of the year..
Now, Those are just tiny little things that i know could be just a coincidence, but on my last day of middle school, i guess he thought that was the last of me that he'd see so i guess he kinda stopped with all that weird crap. But, little did he know that i actually am going to the same school as he is, so on the first day of school, i was with little group of buddies trying to find where our classes are and he goes upstairs alone and kinda lost looking. He turns around and sees me and he kinda awkwardly just stood there for a while like he was surprised (this might be cheesy but it felt like one of those spotlight moments in movies...but whatever.. ) I just kinda ignored that fact and went along my business until i got to P.E. with some of my friends where i saw him sitting close to my area and found out i had P.E. with him AGAIN... (i was a freshman here)
A week passed and all the lockers were assigned, and we started to dress out. I noticed that he never did the whole "take-shirt-off-when-sees-me-thing" anymore and i thought that was good i guess.
Here I am thinking its all good.. when i go to the bathroom and see him through the mirror going to the bathroom as well. I thought that he just needed to use it to so I went on with my business and got out. So i go back with my friends and i c him going my way and walked right behind me to the other side of the locker room brushing his arm i guess "on accident" against mine on the way. I felt a bit uncomfortable, but just kept thinking nah.. it's nothing! then comes to this whole daily routine for about one or two weeks with following me to the bathroom in and out everyday.. and whenever we r playing and i happen to looking his way, he would purposely lift up his shirt showing his stomach area-All the time. Whenever we have to stretch, he even pulled down his shorts WITH HIS BOXERS a few times showing his bare ass! (which just saying.. looks REAAALLLLLLLLLYYYYY nice... but not the point) and when he did so, i was behind him diagonally by one person.
I am pretty sure he knows I ignore most of what he does or at least i hope he did and idk why he keeps on doing it. He recently dated one of my old friends more "acquaintance" actually (though i think he didn't know i knew her) and would make out with her when I'm around (or at least its what it seems like to me so it happens 80% of the time) which I mean Idk why he does when he does all that stuff to me everyday.
Few weeks later, he kinda starts to walk purposely slow towards the gym from the cafeteria and walks right in just about the same time as me and my buddies were. Same old routine, but he hasn't been doin anything odd anymore other than that until one day he stood by the water fountain next to the bathroom. i dressed out then went to my friends. i saw him just standing there then he vanished. all of a sudden my friends where like wth? i NEVER saw him cry at all ever.. im like wtf??? who??? and then we walk outside, i see HIM! crying there.. and his buddies where around him makin him feel better. Idk what to feel.. i automatically felt like i've been stabbed or something. i didn't like seeing him cry. i never like seeing anyone cry but with him it was much more painful to see! i wanted to walk up to him and try asking whats wrong.. lend a crying shoulder, but that would totally outa place for me. my friends think i don't like him so how can i go up there.? and his buddies were already there too. i wanted to butt in but can't and had that feeling of "DAM. im still TOO SHORT to reach that one!" and in my situation, i had no chairs around to help me reach farther. . . my friends were totally not an option.. they think i hate him.. so why help him ? (in their minds..) {i found out his GF broke up with him}
next day, no matter what, i was going to walk up to him i told myself.. but im such a fucking p*ssy... i couldnt do sh*t.. besides, i saw him all happy again right away flashing his abs again. i guess it meant they were back together. right then and there, i was like, alright.. No hope anymore.. obviously, he is very much into his GF so i felt like i was only fooling myself. Though, he never stops doing what he does. i got sick for a couple days, and my friend told me that he looked a bit curious as to why i was gone and kept looking over to see if i'd show up. (least its what my friend thinks) (( oh btw, yes one of my friends noticed him act the ay he does when im around so he knows, but not that im bi never told anyone)) pretty much the rest of the year was so and so the usual, not too much new. flash here, flash there, if i'm not there he notices, and that was it for my freshman year.
Even if he does all that, i really don't know why, and I hate saying this... BUT I actually LIKE HIM! Even if he annoys the hell out of me... And now, i still do.. im a sophomore now at the same school too.. this time i told myself I am done over the summer. He loves his gf, whatever he is straight and its not like i could just ask him anyway, that would be humiliating.. and idk what i say around new people, i'm an idiot.. -_- i'd embarrass myself...
So... first day of school, (couple days ago) i didnt see him but i knew he went to my school cause i have spanish with his bro but no more classes with him, not even lunch. i was like hmm alright he still goes here but its okay i don't like him anymore. The bell rang, the day was a bore yadayadayada. I walk to the buses but on the way, I saw him.! THEN.. BANG! those few seconds made m day and somewhere inside me said Yes, i AM still hopelessly into him... He looked the same. shaved head though. but i like it on him, but he seemed so sad.. He looked like he wasn't happy going to school here anymore. It was that sad-but-cute-out-of-place-look again.. honestly, i feel exactly like that. dunno why. maybe its him. i think it is my regret of not doing anything... that "what if" has probably the only thing that i've been thinking about for awhile now maybe.. but anyway, i honestly don't know if he saw me though, or maybe even noticed me. friends told me i totally look different this year. i didnt think so, my hair was just a bit shorter, but some juniors did ask me who i had last year thinking im a frikin senior.. o_o. but not the point.. 2nd day, i got caught up with my classes.. too much work, too boring. 5th period i was walking upstairs, i saw him! half of me said YES! i see him at least 30 sec before switching classes! and the other half was like.. Yay.. remind of me more of who my regrets pinpoints to... Blah. i think he saw me this time for sure. he was walking with a freshman buddy and forcefull said out loud ask he past by me to the freshman, "Oh You have her for that class?? Haha" sooooooooo loud. i guess it was to get my attention again.. but yeah.. today, i didn't see him.. yesterday, nothing either i had to take a different route..
SO, Do u guys think he was just messing.? Cause I'd agree but then again, part of me wouldn't cause its been 3 years by now.?? And he is one persistent dude....
What do u guys think ? is he insinuating something?? or what? Is it all joke?? D:
And i would talk to him straight up too but he is so called "popular" and if he tells anyone, im dead pretty much.. and now, i jus don't know anymore i guess it's all over. i barely see him and probably won't be seeing him much at all. what is worse is i have pretty much nobody at all to talk to in ANY of my classes.. i feel like soooo outta place and don't even know what to feel about him anymore.[/FONT]