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Unsure of my sexuality
Hello, Justaguy,
I feel, as probably others do, that you are lucky to be able to state the question now at such an early (ish) age... For some of us being gay wasn't even an option and it took many more years of introspection to realise what made our hearts (and our dicks) tick.

You should allow yourself to have both experiences, and remember that being gay does not mean you cannot have children. If you are bisexual, you ought to be able to enjoy adventures with both sexes indifferently, but I guess that then, it's the person that counts over sexual preference (which you state, at the moment, as being for waking up in a man's arms).

It takes many years of soul searching and self exploration to come to any one conclusion, so maybe, for the time being, and since you are, after all, only 17 and not too experienced, you should let the labels rest and just try experiencing what feels right (as others have said).

However, bear in mind two things:
1) your sexual safety (with man or woman, condoms are a requisite still. That way you not only protect yourself, but also your future partners, whoever they may be),
2) Consider what your options are in whatever environment you are living in (I mean school, family, religious group if any, social environment (small town, village, city), etc) because like any person that you choose to marry or partner, there will always be the family to take into account (theirs and yours), and your social envitonment to contend with.

Good luck with finding out who you really are...

Crisit21 Wrote:U didn't tell us , for whom u had feelings, the boy or the girl, i confess that i'm 24 and still not sure of my sexuality, i fell in love for the first time with a boy, even though i had long term relationships with girls, i never had feelings for girls so i don't know what that means, i think u are bi, but u don't have too much experience so who knows? u must see for yourself what makes u happy.

It IS true that it's difficult to find out what one's preferences are, because there is strong social and family pressure to be "with someone", to be paired off (why! in some cultures they'll marry you off in the crib!! :eekSmile, and by that, families and relatives usually mean someone of the opposite sex. They rarely think: "Oh, wait, maybe you'd prefer to have a boyfriend (if you're a boy)! or a girlfriend (if you're a girl)!". That's why, maybe, it makes it harder for us to discover our true selves. Being with a female partner feels right socially, for a man because we have been conditioned to think that that's the thing for everyone, including ourselved, but it may not work out in the long run. Best not to make that mistake, as someone (Fenris) so rightly said... Confusedmile:

justaguy Wrote:Hi, I'm new to this forum, main reason i decided to join was to ask for some help. I am currently 17 and unsure of my sexuality.

im in the exact same boat as you

i like a girl
but i like her brother to (hes gay)

shit sucks

I think that you shouldn't really hurry to find out who you are. I mean you are young and you have plenty of time to answer those questions, I mean it seems like these days its less and less about what sexuality you are and who you are attracted to. I mean you don't need to put a label on it do you? You can be bisexual or gay or straight. I mean even though I am exclsuively gay I still sometimes have feelings for women but in all honesty the chance of having intercourse with a female I probably just wouldn't do it because I enjoy it more with men. You just have to find your way and it will come to you, just don't rush it

Lol, same boat. Just say you are bi and move on - you can change your label later. Life's too short to worry about that now.

It is important that you trust your feelings, and be with either the girl or boy, and committ to that! Go with feelings not what society wants, for example you say you want kids and hetero r/s, which to me sounds like you are making the decision that the only way you can have kids is in a hetero coupling. There are many ways now, and 10 yrs ago that wasn't even an option, so by the time you want kids, 10-15yrs, society will have progressed even more... So in the meantime, just have fun exploring who you are


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