Ah...Need love advice :(
10-29-2007, 08:00 AM
Hahaha I did a search before to see if there was a fourm for gay advice...cause boy do I need it and its only my 2nd post :biggrin: lol
I wanted to ask fellow gay males(or females) for advice on my current situation....sorry this is so long!
I guess it happens a lot(and it has happened to me before) but its the age old question of: Could this man who says hes straight be interested in me?
To set this up, he works with me(I know bad place to meet people but it just so happens this is my luck lol) he is about six years older then me, and we met about four months ago. Since day one we have been drawn together. He told our boss(who just so happens to be also my best friend) how great and welcome I made him feel his first night and how he wants to take me out and get me drunk to thank me....but heres the tie breaker...he has a 2 year old son, and a current girlfriend with a baby on the way...but hear me out.
It started with us just talking all the time, he would come seek me out when I was off working someplace else and then on our break he would ask me to stand outside while he smoked so we could talk. Around the second week he started telling me he was fighting with his girlfriend and said “I don't know what to do...I'm ready to give up women and become a monk” it was then he gave me the first “look”... you know the look when you are about to kiss and he stares into you're eyes? I put it out of my head and that weekend he was off to visit his son like he does every weekend in another state and he sent me a message on myspace saying things still were not not good with the girlfriend and he gave me his number and told me to text him with mine This opened the “He text messages me the whole day” stage of our friendship. Weeks pasted he and the gal were fine again( yet they fight every other week so I cant keep up lol)
I thought he could just tell I was gay,since I dont keep it a secert but he kept mentioning to me that his friend was gay and he had a hard time telling him because the friend thought he would think different of him...but he doesn't care. He said this about three times and I thought this was his way of trying to get it out of me that I was.
About a month back he kept telling me about all these hot girls we work with, and was pointing them out. He would ask me, which one would you do if you had too? I told him I don't know and picked our boss....to which he said he thought I and her already did something, he could see it in my eyes and there was nothing I could say to change his mine...I told them there is a reason(the obvious reason that I was gay) and he keep asking me what it was, so I texted it to him and his response was “Well that is a good reason...but plenty of gay men jump the fence” when I went to speak to him after he said he couldn't tell I was since I didn't do anything to make him think I was(he later told me he did know all along which I knew he had to have)...and then he said he wouldn't care if his son was gay. Then invited me to hang out with his boys to play cards and drink...also saying “I don't know if I could....” (do it with another man) but stopped midway through saying it. He also asked if I saw Brokeback Mouthain and I told him no, and that I think I'm the only gay guy who didn't see it. He said he thinks hes the only straight guy who saw it.
Days passed and then the subject came up again. He asked me if it had been a long time since I last had sex and I told him it had been...being that I am still virgin(ha 22 year old virgin I know lol) he was shocked, he asked me “really?” about ten times. And then did that same thing and said “I don't know if I could....” be with mab. He even went as far as looking at my ass and saying it “was a nice ass” after my girl friend commented how nice mine was. When she asked him again days later to see if he would say it once more he said “I don't want to look at his ass...” he also went back on the whole “Gay men jump the fence saying only gay men do it....not straight guys” He also said he was a butt man, yet he wont have anal sex because it grosses him out....then told me he has had it with his girlfriend. Then when he told me getting a blowjob from a girl wouldn't be bad because all I had to do was close my eyes...I told him it would be the same for him and a guy only better because a guy knows what a guy wants and he said nope, but he guesses it wouldn't be that bad, then the next day he said he takes it back when I brought it up to him...
More currently I've had trouble at home and most of all car trouble, so he told me he would pick em up everyday for work and on the way he would take about his problems at home and even told me a secret he made sure I knew I was one only person other then his father he has ever told this to.... since it happened back when he was 21 years old. And then one day he wanted me to go to the state his son lives in for a day visit and hang out with the son and then come home.
Random things that have happened:
If I bring in something I made, he eats out of the same bowl as me...this may not be big for the normal, but just knowing him it means something to me. He tells me to try women just once for him, to make him happy. So I tell him when he tries men I will try women and he says no. We go back every night with this...hes had more fights with his girlfriend and hes says hes going to leave but he doesn't. He also tells me he would never cheat because he knows how it feels...he also wanted me to meet his girlfriend and I did but she came off as a... bit- anyway lol
He has given me that “kiss look” twice more since then, one time a coworker saw it. We even stand right ontop of another when we talk, how much of that is me wanting to be close to him and just subconsciously doing so I not sure, but he doesn't move away. Actually ive been told most of our coworkers think we are sleeping together! Then was the night he told me I wasn't like the stereotype gay male...and then he mentioned two of coworkers he found attractive (one being an asshole who he hates with a passion) and I find that all too odd. Then I was talking to his guy online who started texting me and I told him about him saying he was asking me different questions about being a top or a bottom and he said he shouldn't be asking me that...so he took my phone and “got rid of him for me” telling the dude I was straight.
Then last week he spoke to my friend/boss before he left work and told her he saw I was acting different towards him the past two weeks and that gay guy he is friends with wanted him to have sex with him and another guy once and he wont do it...she asked if he thought I was handsome and he said yeah...anyway I was crushed I got the idea without her going into more of it but hes saying it will never happen...he called her the next day and asked her how I was and she told him okay...even if had cried my eyes out in the womens bathroom...lol....not something im proud of. I texted him telling him I was embarrassed about the whole thing and he told me don't be embarrassed with him...that nothing happened. And things went back to normal.... telling me the other night “You know your my favorite”(person im aussming) and giving me a smile and then telling me he is glad im not talking to that dude anymore (the one he took care of for me)
My older brother who is also gay told me he may be using me...I do lend him money for smokes all the time and he never pays me back, and I make him food for lunch and buy both of us drinks and crap like that so maybe he is...
Is this a text book case, being used, or just going crazy? I know a sane person would trying to pull back after he basically told my friend he doesn't want me to get the wrong idea...but then why does he do/say the things he does?
If you read all of this THANK YOU....I just hope to get some outside advice. Thanks again!
I wanted to ask fellow gay males(or females) for advice on my current situation....sorry this is so long!
I guess it happens a lot(and it has happened to me before) but its the age old question of: Could this man who says hes straight be interested in me?
To set this up, he works with me(I know bad place to meet people but it just so happens this is my luck lol) he is about six years older then me, and we met about four months ago. Since day one we have been drawn together. He told our boss(who just so happens to be also my best friend) how great and welcome I made him feel his first night and how he wants to take me out and get me drunk to thank me....but heres the tie breaker...he has a 2 year old son, and a current girlfriend with a baby on the way...but hear me out.
It started with us just talking all the time, he would come seek me out when I was off working someplace else and then on our break he would ask me to stand outside while he smoked so we could talk. Around the second week he started telling me he was fighting with his girlfriend and said “I don't know what to do...I'm ready to give up women and become a monk” it was then he gave me the first “look”... you know the look when you are about to kiss and he stares into you're eyes? I put it out of my head and that weekend he was off to visit his son like he does every weekend in another state and he sent me a message on myspace saying things still were not not good with the girlfriend and he gave me his number and told me to text him with mine This opened the “He text messages me the whole day” stage of our friendship. Weeks pasted he and the gal were fine again( yet they fight every other week so I cant keep up lol)
I thought he could just tell I was gay,since I dont keep it a secert but he kept mentioning to me that his friend was gay and he had a hard time telling him because the friend thought he would think different of him...but he doesn't care. He said this about three times and I thought this was his way of trying to get it out of me that I was.
About a month back he kept telling me about all these hot girls we work with, and was pointing them out. He would ask me, which one would you do if you had too? I told him I don't know and picked our boss....to which he said he thought I and her already did something, he could see it in my eyes and there was nothing I could say to change his mine...I told them there is a reason(the obvious reason that I was gay) and he keep asking me what it was, so I texted it to him and his response was “Well that is a good reason...but plenty of gay men jump the fence” when I went to speak to him after he said he couldn't tell I was since I didn't do anything to make him think I was(he later told me he did know all along which I knew he had to have)...and then he said he wouldn't care if his son was gay. Then invited me to hang out with his boys to play cards and drink...also saying “I don't know if I could....” (do it with another man) but stopped midway through saying it. He also asked if I saw Brokeback Mouthain and I told him no, and that I think I'm the only gay guy who didn't see it. He said he thinks hes the only straight guy who saw it.
Days passed and then the subject came up again. He asked me if it had been a long time since I last had sex and I told him it had been...being that I am still virgin(ha 22 year old virgin I know lol) he was shocked, he asked me “really?” about ten times. And then did that same thing and said “I don't know if I could....” be with mab. He even went as far as looking at my ass and saying it “was a nice ass” after my girl friend commented how nice mine was. When she asked him again days later to see if he would say it once more he said “I don't want to look at his ass...” he also went back on the whole “Gay men jump the fence saying only gay men do it....not straight guys” He also said he was a butt man, yet he wont have anal sex because it grosses him out....then told me he has had it with his girlfriend. Then when he told me getting a blowjob from a girl wouldn't be bad because all I had to do was close my eyes...I told him it would be the same for him and a guy only better because a guy knows what a guy wants and he said nope, but he guesses it wouldn't be that bad, then the next day he said he takes it back when I brought it up to him...
More currently I've had trouble at home and most of all car trouble, so he told me he would pick em up everyday for work and on the way he would take about his problems at home and even told me a secret he made sure I knew I was one only person other then his father he has ever told this to.... since it happened back when he was 21 years old. And then one day he wanted me to go to the state his son lives in for a day visit and hang out with the son and then come home.
Random things that have happened:
If I bring in something I made, he eats out of the same bowl as me...this may not be big for the normal, but just knowing him it means something to me. He tells me to try women just once for him, to make him happy. So I tell him when he tries men I will try women and he says no. We go back every night with this...hes had more fights with his girlfriend and hes says hes going to leave but he doesn't. He also tells me he would never cheat because he knows how it feels...he also wanted me to meet his girlfriend and I did but she came off as a... bit- anyway lol
He has given me that “kiss look” twice more since then, one time a coworker saw it. We even stand right ontop of another when we talk, how much of that is me wanting to be close to him and just subconsciously doing so I not sure, but he doesn't move away. Actually ive been told most of our coworkers think we are sleeping together! Then was the night he told me I wasn't like the stereotype gay male...and then he mentioned two of coworkers he found attractive (one being an asshole who he hates with a passion) and I find that all too odd. Then I was talking to his guy online who started texting me and I told him about him saying he was asking me different questions about being a top or a bottom and he said he shouldn't be asking me that...so he took my phone and “got rid of him for me” telling the dude I was straight.
Then last week he spoke to my friend/boss before he left work and told her he saw I was acting different towards him the past two weeks and that gay guy he is friends with wanted him to have sex with him and another guy once and he wont do it...she asked if he thought I was handsome and he said yeah...anyway I was crushed I got the idea without her going into more of it but hes saying it will never happen...he called her the next day and asked her how I was and she told him okay...even if had cried my eyes out in the womens bathroom...lol....not something im proud of. I texted him telling him I was embarrassed about the whole thing and he told me don't be embarrassed with him...that nothing happened. And things went back to normal.... telling me the other night “You know your my favorite”(person im aussming) and giving me a smile and then telling me he is glad im not talking to that dude anymore (the one he took care of for me)
My older brother who is also gay told me he may be using me...I do lend him money for smokes all the time and he never pays me back, and I make him food for lunch and buy both of us drinks and crap like that so maybe he is...
Is this a text book case, being used, or just going crazy? I know a sane person would trying to pull back after he basically told my friend he doesn't want me to get the wrong idea...but then why does he do/say the things he does?
If you read all of this THANK YOU....I just hope to get some outside advice. Thanks again!
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
.
.
